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crack

Written solely for the sense of whack, most often by putting otherwise sane characters into extreme situations for no good reason but the humor.


In the winter months the ground was too hard to dig ditches, so instead they chipped rocks.

rated:M-L-S-V | GEN | Fullmetal | angst | crack | intense | romance | prisonfic


"Hey! She did it blindfolded! No one else could do that! And better her than that old hag!"

rated:K-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | crack | fluff | humor


"You know we need to catch that train to Central, and you were being unreasonable. If we're late getting back again, General Mustang's going to have a fit."

rated:K | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | crack | general | humor | Al/Ed


"My neighbors would start saying things behind my back if I took home a suit of armor."

rated:G | M+F | Mangaverse | crack | humor


"...Sir..." he tried, beginning to compose himself again. "Don't you think...ah...that this isn't very professional of either of us?"

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Best Humorous Smut, TKKN Contest | Offsite Award | Armstrong/Envy | crack | humor


The Full Metal Alchemist, of course, accepted his assignment with all the gravity due his station.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Card Captor Sakura | crack | crossover | humor


Really, who said that a woman's sex life had to end at 60? An experienced woman had a lot to offer, and Pinako was quite, quite experienced.

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | crack | humor | ref. drugs | Pinako/Roy | Ed/Czeska/Winry


In a blur of red and flying braid, Ed is on his knees before her.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | crack | humor


"Now, Earth-type world, yes? Spoken language identified as late pre-Galactic English."

rated:M-L | GEN | Alt Universe | TWT | First Place (popular); Second Place (juried) | Green Lion Winner | Alfons Heiderich | Edward Elric | crack | drama | fusion | introspective | 2009 Brave New Worlds, Original


“Are you all right, Loincloth Witch Alphonse?” “Y-y-yes,” the young hero stammered, feeling as though at any moment his heart might leap right through his ribcage.

rated:M-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | crack | parody | Al/Ed | cosplay | incest


Not a fairy, then, Alfons thought in disappointment. The fairies in stories weren't usually so foul-mouthed and excitable, anyway.

rated:G-L | GEN | Alt Universe | post-series | DF: ep. 51 | Alfons Heiderich | Edward Elric | crack | humor


Some of the stuff he was asked to investigate was truly stupid shit. A bakery, for instance.

rated:K-L | S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | DF: ep 24 | Ed/Roy | crack | drama | humor | Psiren


For a few minutes they sat in silence, looking out over the sun-dazzled water. There didn't seem to be much to say.

rated:K | S+S | Fullmetal | post-series | April Fools' fic | angst | crack | Elric Kyoudai


And everyone knows, when a homunculus is in trouble, there’s only one place to go!

rated:G | GEN | Alt Universe | Who Framed Roger Rabbit? | Alphonse Elric | Greed | crack | fusion | humor


... and the moral of the story is - well, I guess there's no moral to this story, it's just a bunch of stuff that happened. Kind of like the rest of this movie.

rated:G | GEN | Shambhala | all-series | SP: movie | crack | humor | script | parody


"I'll have you know I'm in a committed monogamous relationship."

rated:G | S+S | crack | humor | Roy/__


"Let me get this straight — you want to kiss me to support a theory!?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Ed/Roy | crack | humor


He had lost everything in a heartbeat, on a chance, and deserted his brother, although against his will.

rated:M-L | S×S | Fullmetal | what-if | angst | crack | dark | drama | slavery | Pinako/Roy


With two younger sisters himself, he knew well that siblings quarreled, but never to this extent.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | crack | humor


"You know it's a good thing I heal almost immediately, because otherwise I'd be so sore, I'd never get anywhere in the story."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | SP: movie | Edward Elric | crack | humor | pwp | meta


You could attribute it to teenage rebellion, if you liked, or to homunculus-hormones, which could be quite fierce, or heck, maybe she was just living up to her name.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Lust/Roy | crack | humor