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crack

Written solely for the sense of whack, most often by putting otherwise sane characters into extreme situations for no good reason but the humor.


"You know it's a good thing I heal almost immediately, because otherwise I'd be so sore, I'd never get anywhere in the story."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | SP: movie | Edward Elric | crack | humor | pwp | meta


The Full Metal Alchemist, of course, accepted his assignment with all the gravity due his station.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Card Captor Sakura | crack | crossover | humor


“Are you all right, Loincloth Witch Alphonse?” “Y-y-yes,” the young hero stammered, feeling as though at any moment his heart might leap right through his ribcage.

rated:M-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | crack | parody | Al/Ed | cosplay | incest


... and the moral of the story is - well, I guess there's no moral to this story, it's just a bunch of stuff that happened. Kind of like the rest of this movie.

rated:G | GEN | Shambhala | all-series | SP: movie | crack | humor | script | parody


Really, who said that a woman's sex life had to end at 60? An experienced woman had a lot to offer, and Pinako was quite, quite experienced.

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | crack | humor | ref. drugs | Pinako/Roy | Ed/Czeska/Winry


"Now, Earth-type world, yes? Spoken language identified as late pre-Galactic English."

rated:M-L | GEN | Alt Universe | TWT | First Place (popular); Second Place (juried) | Green Lion Winner | Alfons Heiderich | Edward Elric | crack | drama | fusion | introspective | 2009 Brave New Worlds, Original


Not a fairy, then, Alfons thought in disappointment. The fairies in stories weren't usually so foul-mouthed and excitable, anyway.

rated:G-L | GEN | Alt Universe | post-series | DF: ep. 51 | Alfons Heiderich | Edward Elric | crack | humor


"My neighbors would start saying things behind my back if I took home a suit of armor."

rated:G | M+F | Mangaverse | crack | humor


"Hey! She did it blindfolded! No one else could do that! And better her than that old hag!"

rated:K-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | crack | fluff | humor


He had lost everything in a heartbeat, on a chance, and deserted his brother, although against his will.

rated:M-L | S×S | Fullmetal | what-if | angst | crack | dark | drama | slavery | Pinako/Roy


And everyone knows, when a homunculus is in trouble, there’s only one place to go!

rated:G | GEN | Alt Universe | Who Framed Roger Rabbit? | Alphonse Elric | Greed | crack | fusion | humor


For a few minutes they sat in silence, looking out over the sun-dazzled water. There didn't seem to be much to say.

rated:K | S+S | Fullmetal | post-series | April Fools' fic | angst | crack | Elric Kyoudai


In a blur of red and flying braid, Ed is on his knees before her.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | crack | humor


"You know we need to catch that train to Central, and you were being unreasonable. If we're late getting back again, General Mustang's going to have a fit."

rated:K | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | crack | general | humor | Al/Ed


"...Sir..." he tried, beginning to compose himself again. "Don't you think...ah...that this isn't very professional of either of us?"

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Best Humorous Smut, TKKN Contest | Offsite Award | Armstrong/Envy | crack | humor


Some of the stuff he was asked to investigate was truly stupid shit. A bakery, for instance.

rated:K-L | S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | DF: ep 24 | Ed/Roy | crack | drama | humor | Psiren


You could attribute it to teenage rebellion, if you liked, or to homunculus-hormones, which could be quite fierce, or heck, maybe she was just living up to her name.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Lust/Roy | crack | humor


"Let me get this straight — you want to kiss me to support a theory!?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Ed/Roy | crack | humor


"I'll have you know I'm in a committed monogamous relationship."

rated:G | S+S | crack | humor | Roy/__


With two younger sisters himself, he knew well that siblings quarreled, but never to this extent.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | crack | humor


In the winter months the ground was too hard to dig ditches, so instead they chipped rocks.

rated:M-L-S-V | GEN | Fullmetal | angst | crack | intense | romance | prisonfic