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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


"Our boy here hasn't done a lick of work since eleven am, and she hasn't noticed at all. D'you think she's in love?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | TWT | Riza Hawkeye | humor | 354th FG HQ


It was, and he hated to admit it, an intriguing proposal. Ed wondered who the General had leaned on to get it written in just such a way to make his alchemic blood tingle.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | Al/Riza | Ed/Roy | angst | drama | humor


"My neighbors would start saying things behind my back if I took home a suit of armor."

rated:G | M+F | Mangaverse | crack | humor


Fullmetal smiled a long, slow smile, the sort that promised evil things were in the near future, and put his boots up on Roy's desk.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | humor


Fullmetal was starting to turn slightly purple, now, which definitely clashed with his coloring...

rated:M-L-S | M×F S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | genderswitch | humor


The voice hit Ed like a blow, and drove the breath from his lungs. "Where are you?" he shouted. "Where are you?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | drama | humor


With a sense of rising dread, Alphonse raised his fist to pound for admittance, worry tinging his voice. "Brother? Are you alright in there?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | post-series | general | humor | Al/Ed


This really was turning out to be a day of surprises, thought Roy.

rated:K-L-V | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: up to ch 35-ish | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Riza Hawkeye | Roy Mustang | Ed/Roy | action | humor | UST


"You have no idea how good you look right now," Roy said.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | meta


He was also certain that if he gave in and laughed, Edward would hang up and never speak to him again.

rated:K | M+F M×F | Fullmetal | post-series | Ed/Winry | humor | Al/OC


Ed looked down at the camera again, and smiled an evil, evil smile.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | Elric Kyoudai | 354th FG HQ


The only problem was that Ed didn't know what the heck "getting some" was or what he was being congratulated for.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | fluff | humor


"Alchemy is intended for the public good. If it wasn't anything illegal, why the need for secrecy?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


"This," Edward said authoritatively, "is bullshit."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | blanketfic | humor


"Half the time you get surprised it's with some shit you didn't even want, the other half of the time you get surprised, you barely avoid getting killed."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | fetishism | humor


"I know, I know, the deal is whoever's on bottom gets to pick your shape, but really, this is ridiculous."

rated:M-L | S×S | Fullmetal | Al/Envy | humor


"Oh, what would YOU know? said Winry. "You've never looked at a girl in your life."

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | TWT | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Winry Rockbell | humor | sweet


You could attribute it to teenage rebellion, if you liked, or to homunculus-hormones, which could be quite fierce, or heck, maybe she was just living up to her name.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Lust/Roy | crack | humor


Schezcka pushed her glasses up, using the glass reflection to hide her eyes.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Czeska/Winry | humor | sap


As stated in the catalog, our Model 436b Hairless Ape is highly customizable, designed with the discerning deity in mind.

rated:G | GEN | Alt Universe | humor | parody


Ed loved his brother, and would take his company as a roommate over anyone in the world — except one; but he made a damn lousy substitute for a girlfriend.

rated:G | M×F | Fullmetal | Ed/Winry | humor | Ed/self


"I'll have you know I'm in a committed monogamous relationship."

rated:G | S+S | crack | humor | Roy/__


"You and I? Sleeping together?" Hughes snorted disdain, and spared a hand to push his glasses back up his face. "Ridiculous!"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Maes/Roy | humor


Let it never be said that whatever his obsessive tendencies, Edward Elric was unable to enjoy life's simpler pleasures.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


The door opened, and all the energy Ed had been ready to put towards transmuting the door into a pile of sticks drained out of him through his feet.

rated:M-L | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | pwp | reluctant uke


“Sir,” he says, and Roy could be imagining it, but he thinks Falman’s usually flat tone has a hint of panic in it.  “Have you read this memo yet?”

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | post-series | Heymans Breda | Jean Havoc | Kain Fuery | Riza Hawkeye | Roy Mustang | Vato Falman | humor


The air feels cold against Al's face, and even colder down his naked back.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Al/Roy | exhibitionism | humor


That was the problem with girls these days... they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | OC | Pinako Rockbell | humor


He was just contemplating a launch, kick and a dash for the window when Armstrong's hands closed in his hair.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | cosplay


Louis Alex Armstrong has been seriously wounded... BUT THE SOUL STILL BURNS.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"You could have roped in the typing pool instead, they moon over the Colonel all the time."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor


At a large mahogany desk, polished to an almost jewel-like shine, sat Colonel Edward Elric, who was deep into his paperwork. Or at least that is how he appeared.

rated:M-S | S×S | Mangaverse | TWT | Ed/Roy | bdsm | humor | pwp


Apparently, years of stress had jaded Ed into thinking that if things were looking good now, then something terrible must be around the corner.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | fluff | humor | Al/Ed


"What do you mean, you're PREGNANT?" Ed yelled through the door.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | SP: ep 28 | Izumi Curtis | humor | parody | Elric Kyoudai | mpreg


Ed gave a scream of incoherent rage. "AL! YOU BASTARD!"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


He lay back on the couch (in Roy Mustang's office, where else?) and declared , "I'm not wearing this."

rated:M-L-S | GEN S×S | Fullmetal | unhappy Edward | fluff | humor


Edward Elric swallows.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Ed/Roy | humor


"Colonel, if I may ask... what is a cat, to be more precise, a kitten doing in the office?"

rated:G | GEN | humor | 354th FG HQ


A small biological flaw, if one could even consider it that.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Armstrong/Havoc


One day Edward was out kicking the crap out of those damn Homunculus with Al...

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | badfic | humor | 2004 First Kiss, Gen


A collection of 100 word ficlets.

rated:M-L | GEN S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | Ed/Winry | angst | drama | fluff | gore | humor | pwp | Al/Ed | Izumi/Sig


"I remember the flavor too; it was strawberry. It's still his favorite."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Riza Hawkeye | Winry Rockbell | humor


"I must savor every moment of every love letter I recieve to do the sender justice," Mustang said, before proceeding to open the letter.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


With two younger sisters himself, he knew well that siblings quarreled, but never to this extent.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | crack | humor


Typical Ed; overprotective, hypocritical, condescending, and for some reason fundamentally incapable of treating Al as an equal.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Ed


Smug, he'd stayed just long enough to give his report and then had marched straight off to Resembool with Al lagging behind.

rated:K-L | M×F S×S | Brotherhood | post-series | Alphonse Elric | Roy Mustang | general | humor | Ed/Various | 2010 Best New Voices, Adept


"...Sir..." he tried, beginning to compose himself again. "Don't you think...ah...that this isn't very professional of either of us?"

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Best Humorous Smut, TKKN Contest | Offsite Award | Armstrong/Envy | crack | humor


"Edward," Hawkeye said kindly, "has it occurred to you that you and Alphonse may be spending too much time alone?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


“Um, you must’ve learned that from Colonel Bastard.  You’d better not be flashing that at the nurses.  Or at me, ever, ever again.”

rated:G | GEN | Mangaverse | post-series | DF: ch 107 | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Jean Havoc | humor


"You know we need to catch that train to Central, and you were being unreasonable. If we're late getting back again, General Mustang's going to have a fit."

rated:K | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | crack | general | humor | Al/Ed