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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


Schezcka pushed her glasses up, using the glass reflection to hide her eyes.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Czeska/Winry | humor | sap


Ah. Fans. He preens slightly into his coat, sits up just a little taller on his haunches. Fans he knows how to deal with.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | fluff | humor


The sheer naughtiness of it all was unexpectedly exciting, and she found herself trembling even before the cold steel met her skin.

rated:M-S | M×F | Fullmetal | post-series | Al/Winry | humor


Not a fairy, then, Alfons thought in disappointment. The fairies in stories weren't usually so foul-mouthed and excitable, anyway.

rated:G-L | GEN | Alt Universe | post-series | DF: ep. 51 | Alfons Heiderich | Edward Elric | crack | humor


"For only one arm..." Ed rasped out, gritting his teeth against the pain.

rated:M-L | GEN | pre-series | SP: ep 03 | gore | humor | redux | Elric Kyoudai


No kinks, no cross-dressing, no tag-team threesomes, and all pets must be ushered out of the room beforehand.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Shambhala | humor | kink | pwp


Ed gave a scream of incoherent rage. "AL! YOU BASTARD!"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"I believe my exact words were, 'a microscopically short bean boy the size of a pin'."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


Send your letters to our own Agony Aunt, Samantha!

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


Around two o'clock in the afternoon, women around the city began to disappear ... and a crowd, primarily of females, formed along Third Street.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


It was just the men today, sitting around drinking coffee and playing cards and waiting for the paint to peel or the Fuhrer-in-Training to request they do something.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | humor


Too many more nights of excuses are going to drive him from appropriately celibate to stark raving mad.

rated:M-L-S | S+S S×S | Shambhala | humor | sweet | Al/Ed


"All this will do is give your soul access to the feelings that should be in your body right now, just like a normal teenage boy."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Ed


Roy cleared his throat, and stepped up to the podium. "Welcome to Elric Fanciers Anonymous," he said.

rated:G | M+F S+S | Fullmetal | humor | Ed/Various


He mostly trusted his brother to be able to put a nearly-three-year-old to bed by himself, but...Al should probably check, just to be sure.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Alicia Hughes | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | humor


"You are so dead, bastard," Ed said, still in that dreamy tone, and took a step forwards.

rated:K | M+F S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | Various


One day Edward was out kicking the crap out of those damn Homunculus with Al...

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | badfic | humor | 2004 First Kiss, Gen


This would be so much easier if he could just refuse the man to his face.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | fluff | humor | Sloth/Wrath


Ed jabbed accusingly with an automail finger — nearly putting out Mustang's eye as he did so — and shrieked, "You're a crossdresser!"

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


He underestimates the little things, like how long it will take him to put his socks on in the morning, and she comes up the stairs when breakfast is long since over to find him crouched over a torn stocking, blinking back furious tears...

rated:M | M+F M×F | Fullmetal | all-series | SP: ep 51 | Ed/Winry | angst | drama | humor


"Let me get this straight — you want to kiss me to support a theory!?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Ed/Roy | crack | humor


Roy smiled slowly as Edward approached his desk, his usual careless pose turned into something... challenging.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


"So by 'torture,' you really mean 'sexual gratification'. Specifically your sexual gratification.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | bondage | humor | pwp | Al/Ed


ROY: [calmly] If drinking means acting like an idiot the way you are, I'm going to pass.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | TWT | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | Roy Mustang | humor | script


Open Mike Night at Rush Valley's one and only coffee house attracts a great many of the town's most ridiculous people.

rated:G | M+F S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Russell | Ed/Winry | humor | Havoc/OC


The magazine told him he was doing it all wrong. First, it said he was boring. Then, it said he was bad in bed. Next, it said he was inconsiderate. After that, it told him he was gullible.

rated:K-L | S×S | Alt Universe | post-series | Ed/Roy | humor | romance | waff | 2010 Best New Voices, Adept


Ed opened his mouth, and then closed it. "Visibility is that important to you, huh?" he said.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | TWT | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | humor | 354th FG HQ


"Huh? Whose fault? Ahahah.. aha..." Ed tried to avoid the topic.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Ed/Roy | fluff | humor


Ed shrugged, although his expression suggested he was trying to keep from being too smug about beating a man almost twice his age.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | drama | humor


Well, it sure looks like the rumors were true about Wednesday nights, Ed thought, easing inconspicuously along the edges of the room.  But I never knew so many soldiers were gay.

rated:M-S | S×S | Mangaverse | post-series | DF: ch 107 | first time | Kain Fuery | Roy Mustang | humor | Ed/__ | alcohol | first time


"I know those court ordered anger management classes were years ago, but you've come such a long way."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | Al/Riza | Ed/Roy | drama | fluff | humor | romance | Havoc/OC | next-gen


The air feels cold against Al's face, and even colder down his naked back.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Al/Roy | exhibitionism | humor


Ed should have remembered this from that month on the island, back when he was a kid: you can only be in the great outdoors so long before you start dreaming of hot showers. And of dumping the people you're travelling with in them.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: up to ch 84 | Darius | Edward Elric | Greed | Heinkel | Ling Yao | humor | Ed/Ling


That was the problem with girls these days... they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | OC | Pinako Rockbell | humor


The Colonel's staff next door ignored the pleas for help and gunshots.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | fluff | humor


Edward Elric was notoriously known for his intense dislike of milk.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | pre-series | humor | Elric Kyoudai


"I remember the flavor too; it was strawberry. It's still his favorite."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Riza Hawkeye | Winry Rockbell | humor


"Were you maybe expecting an announcement? Trumpets?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | angst | humor


Sergeant Broche smiled in frozen panic at the miniature devil that had cornered him in the officer's mess.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Alicia Hughes | humor | 354th FG HQ


Ed looked down at the camera again, and smiled an evil, evil smile.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | Elric Kyoudai | 354th FG HQ


She looked the wire over for a minute, noting where the insulation had been stripped away for retuning, then tugged it gently, careful not to pull too hard.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | Ed/Winry | humor


...Edward saw red - but he took a couple of deep breaths before answering. He knew a real kicker now, thanks to Hawkeye.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


Any girl would be driven insane if she was the youngest child and the only girl in a family of six children.

rated:K-V | GEN | Fullmetal | pre-series | Riza Hawkeye | drama | humor


Edward Elric swallows.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Ed/Roy | humor


There was a lot to be said for experimentation, Ed thought later, when Al was curled up in his arms as Winry fussed in the bathroom.

rated:M-S | M×F S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | fluff | humor | Al/Ed/Winry


"So ...." Havoc tried to look nonchalant. "Fullmetal's hair is, uh ... bright."

rated:M-L | GEN, S+S S×S | Fullmetal | angst | humor | pwp


Etiquette doesn't quite cover situations like this one.

rated:G | GENM+F | Fullmetal | Ed/Winry | humor


"We ought to have a toast," Ed says, frowning into the depths of his bottle. "They always do when they're having a drink in someone's memory."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | Winry Rockbell | angst | humor


Hawkeye just gave Havoc a Look. "Your point, Havoc?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"I like you a lot Al. I really do. It's just... you are kind of intimidating..." and seven feet tall, made of metal and a boy...

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Havoc