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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


"You could have roped in the typing pool instead, they moon over the Colonel all the time."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor


"I must savor every moment of every love letter I recieve to do the sender justice," Mustang said, before proceeding to open the letter.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


While Al couldn't say he approved, he was certain the Colonel wasn't stupid enough to try anything with Ed on a first date.

rated:K | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


"I'll have you know I'm in a committed monogamous relationship."

rated:G | S+S | crack | humor | Roy/__


To every outlandish, self-serving, and sometimes damn near suicidal thing that Edward Elric suggested, Jean Havoc would always reply mildly, with just a touch of good humor, "You're the boss."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | bdsm | crossdressing | humor | Ed/Havoc


He read his father's old, dog-eared textbooks, fascinated by the mechanics of alchemy.

rated:G | GEN | Zolf J. Kimblee | drama | humor


Ed gave a scream of incoherent rage. "AL! YOU BASTARD!"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


Ed loved his brother, and would take his company as a roommate over anyone in the world — except one; but he made a damn lousy substitute for a girlfriend.

rated:G | M×F | Fullmetal | Ed/Winry | humor | Ed/self


His brother was brilliant at many things, but finances were not one of them.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | Elric Kyoudai


"Al," Ed said seriously and leaned forward to look up into his brother's glowing eyes, "if he had mind control powers, you would tell me, right?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | sap


Artificial muscles and steel could not replace the level of sensitivity real muscle and skin had.

rated:K-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | pwp


"So. You came," Scar greeted the person inside.

rated:M-L | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Scar | humor


... and the moral of the story is - well, I guess there's no moral to this story, it's just a bunch of stuff that happened. Kind of like the rest of this movie.

rated:G | GEN | Shambhala | all-series | SP: movie | crack | humor | script | parody


Roy was enchanted by the sound of her voice, pure like dewdrops in the morning.

rated:G | S+S M×F | Fullmetal | Roy Mustang | humor


Not a fairy, then, Alfons thought in disappointment. The fairies in stories weren't usually so foul-mouthed and excitable, anyway.

rated:G-L | GEN | Alt Universe | post-series | DF: ep. 51 | Alfons Heiderich | Edward Elric | crack | humor


Hawkeye just gave Havoc a Look. "Your point, Havoc?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


It was just the men today, sitting around drinking coffee and playing cards and waiting for the paint to peel or the Fuhrer-in-Training to request they do something.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | humor


“Brother, don’t be ungrateful! Ling is trying very hard to teach you proper use of the Xingian language!”

rated:G | GEN | Mangaverse | Lan Fan | Ling Yao | general | humor


This was getting crazy. He knew that his college years ran equivalent with his sexual peak, but honestly?

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Alt Universe | autoeroticism | humor | Al/Ed | meta


Ed's heart began pounding in anticipation of the rush he'd feel when the process was over.

rated:G | S+S | Ed/Alfons | fluff | humor | meta


There were whispers behind him, words exchanged in a frantic flurry of hisses and low notes.

rated:K | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Havoc/Roy | drama | humor | Ed/Havoc


"Yeah. Him again. The Colonel doesn't know when to quit, does he?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | general | humor


"What do you mean, you're PREGNANT?" Ed yelled through the door.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | SP: ep 28 | Izumi Curtis | humor | parody | Elric Kyoudai | mpreg


The idiot prince still couldn't be bothered to figure out the different notes and coins, probably because he'd never actually paid for anything in his life.

rated:K-L | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: Ch. 84 | Edward Elric | Greed | Ling Yao | humor | introspective | UST


"Were you maybe expecting an announcement? Trumpets?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | angst | humor


Smug, he'd stayed just long enough to give his report and then had marched straight off to Resembool with Al lagging behind.

rated:K-L | M×F S×S | Brotherhood | post-series | Alphonse Elric | Roy Mustang | general | humor | Ed/Various | 2010 Best New Voices, Adept


"It was Colonel Mustang, in the Library, with the knife!"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


"I'm sorry! Look, I'll fix it. I didn't know it was going to turn out this way!"

rated:G | M+F | genderswitch | humor | parody


He underestimates the little things, like how long it will take him to put his socks on in the morning, and she comes up the stairs when breakfast is long since over to find him crouched over a torn stocking, blinking back furious tears...

rated:M | M+F M×F | Fullmetal | all-series | SP: ep 51 | Ed/Winry | angst | drama | humor


"Oh yeah... Huh!" Ed looked around, brightening. "Wow, it looks a lot different upright and not burning."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | meta


If armor could narrow its eyes, Ed knew Al would have been doing so.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


The first thing he was aware of when the aftershocks faded was an automail hand on his throat.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


Any girl would be driven insane if she was the youngest child and the only girl in a family of six children.

rated:K-V | GEN | Fullmetal | pre-series | Riza Hawkeye | drama | humor


Alphonse settled for a barely audible sigh and hoped that his brother knew what he was doing.

rated:K | S+S | Fullmetal | post-series | fluff | humor | Al/Ed


"Colonel, if I may ask... what is a cat, to be more precise, a kitten doing in the office?"

rated:G | GEN | humor | 354th FG HQ


Some of the stuff he was asked to investigate was truly stupid shit. A bakery, for instance.

rated:K-L | S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | DF: ep 24 | Ed/Roy | crack | drama | humor | Psiren


"You aren't Envy, are you? Because if you are, I'll kick your ass and find out what you've done with my brother."

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Ed


Such strength. Such dignity. Such discipline. So not the person she was supposed to seduce.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | humor | Armstrong/Lust


Edward Elric was notoriously known for his intense dislike of milk.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | pre-series | humor | Elric Kyoudai


Let it never be said that whatever his obsessive tendencies, Edward Elric was unable to enjoy life's simpler pleasures.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


Sometimes Al thinks that somewhere back in the Armstrong family tree lurks an alchemical accident in a sequin factory.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Al/Roy | humor | Al/Ed


"There is no corresponding word in your language. There is consort, but most people seem to think that that is some kind of advisory position. Then there is wife, which is a bit closer to the true definition--"

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | mid-series | humor | romance | Ed/Ling
sequel: Food Fight |


Al decided he didn't like that particular grin on his brother's face.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | unhappy Roy | humor


Ed looked down at the camera again, and smiled an evil, evil smile.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | Elric Kyoudai | 354th FG HQ


"You know it's a good thing I heal almost immediately, because otherwise I'd be so sore, I'd never get anywhere in the story."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | SP: movie | Edward Elric | crack | humor | pwp | meta


"You have no idea how good you look right now," Roy said.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | meta


"...That is an order, Fullmetal, and I will have you court-martialed if you refuse."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | drama | humor


Roy Mustang had his own addiction, and it was very simple: Roy Mustang was addicted to lieutenants.

rated:G | M+F S+S | Fullmetal | Havoc/Roy | Riza/Roy | humor


It’s February in Central. There’s nothing better to do.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | post-series | Jean Havoc | Roy Mustang | Winry Rockbell | bitter | humor | sweet | alcohol


Ed always got sappy in the afterglow.

rated:K-S | S×S | post-series | SP: ep 50 | Ed/Envy | bdsm | humor