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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


Ed frowned slightly; that thought pushed dangerously at the border of sappiness.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | fluff | humor | Al/Ed/Alfons


"So," said Ling. "I was thinking, perhaps my father can buy out Ed's contract."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | Ling/Roy | humor | pwp


Fullmetal was starting to turn slightly purple, now, which definitely clashed with his coloring...

rated:M-L-S | M×F S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | genderswitch | humor


You had to hand it to Roy, he certainly knew how to keep his cool.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


He mostly trusted his brother to be able to put a nearly-three-year-old to bed by himself, but...Al should probably check, just to be sure.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Alicia Hughes | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | humor


What would be his first act as Lord and Commander?

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"So ...." Havoc tried to look nonchalant. "Fullmetal's hair is, uh ... bright."

rated:M-L | GEN, S+S S×S | Fullmetal | angst | humor | pwp


"We ought to have a toast," Ed says, frowning into the depths of his bottle. "They always do when they're having a drink in someone's memory."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | Winry Rockbell | angst | humor


"I'm too young to die," Ed babbled.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | kink | cosplay


The Colonel narrowly saved himself the disgrace of fumbling for Edward's name (Id? Alex? Eowan?) by resorting, once again, to his title.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


The only other tradition that was better than eggnog to Al, was that of mistletoe.

rated:K | S+S | Shambhala | post-series | SP: movie | fluff | humor | Al/Ed | alcohol


Around two o'clock in the afternoon, women around the city began to disappear ... and a crowd, primarily of females, formed along Third Street.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


The staff look at each other, look at their automail bottle-opener, and prepare to duck.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | post-series | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | humor | 354th FG HQ


“Your latest expense reports left something to be desired.  Why don’t you have a seat, and we’ll go over them.” “I’ll stand, thanks.”

rated:M-L | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Ed/Roy | humor | kink


"Hey, Ed, you're awfully cheery this morning."

rated:K | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: Ch. 84 | Greed | humor | Ed/Ling


Send your letters to our own Agony Aunt, Samantha!

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


"Colonel, if I may ask... what is a cat, to be more precise, a kitten doing in the office?"

rated:G | GEN | humor | 354th FG HQ


"You. Boy by the window who's been doodling all the way through. What would be the result of this equation?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | post-series | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | drama | general | humor


This would be so much easier if he could just refuse the man to his face.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | fluff | humor | Sloth/Wrath


"I must savor every moment of every love letter I recieve to do the sender justice," Mustang said, before proceeding to open the letter.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


The kid had said she was into ... different things, but in all his years Greed could not recall ever having found eggs a helpful sex aide.

rated:K | M×F | Mangaverse | post-series | bdsm | humor | Greed/OC


Ed jabbed accusingly with an automail finger — nearly putting out Mustang's eye as he did so — and shrieked, "You're a crossdresser!"

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


There was a crunching noise from Roy's direction, as of teeth biting through the edge of a porcelain cup.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


Let it never be said that whatever his obsessive tendencies, Edward Elric was unable to enjoy life's simpler pleasures.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


Ed tilted his head down, looked up under Greed's bangs — and there, he saw a familiar, shaky grin.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: ch 1-84 | Darius | Greed | Heinkel | drama | humor | Ed/Ling | 2010 Best New Voices, Neophyte


"I know those court ordered anger management classes were years ago, but you've come such a long way."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | Al/Riza | Ed/Roy | drama | fluff | humor | romance | Havoc/OC | next-gen


That was the problem with girls these days... they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | OC | Pinako Rockbell | humor


"Brother says Mr. Mustang grabbed his behind today while he was at the blackboard," he explained as his blush slowly faded, and Ed scowled.

rated:G | S+S | Alt Universe | humor


"...That is an order, Fullmetal, and I will have you court-martialed if you refuse."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | drama | humor


It doesn’t disappoint, never does; Ed is standing on the corner when the car arrives, all sharp moody edges and obtrusively coloured blue shorts.

rated:K-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | Ed/Roy | humor | sweet


Al decided he didn't like that particular grin on his brother's face.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | unhappy Roy | humor


"It's good to hear that Fullmetal is in good spirits, if he's being so obtrusive in showing off."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | ed+boobies | humor


"I remember the flavor too; it was strawberry. It's still his favorite."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Riza Hawkeye | Winry Rockbell | humor


The first thing he was aware of when the aftershocks faded was an automail hand on his throat.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


ROY: [calmly] If drinking means acting like an idiot the way you are, I'm going to pass.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | TWT | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | Roy Mustang | humor | script


He lay back on the couch (in Roy Mustang's office, where else?) and declared , "I'm not wearing this."

rated:M-L-S | GEN S×S | Fullmetal | unhappy Edward | fluff | humor


Really, who said that a woman's sex life had to end at 60? An experienced woman had a lot to offer, and Pinako was quite, quite experienced.

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | crack | humor | ref. drugs | Pinako/Roy | Ed/Czeska/Winry


The Full Metal Alchemist, of course, accepted his assignment with all the gravity due his station.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Card Captor Sakura | crack | crossover | humor


"For only one arm..." Ed rasped out, gritting his teeth against the pain.

rated:M-L | GEN | pre-series | SP: ep 03 | gore | humor | redux | Elric Kyoudai


It started with Ling's lips simply pressed up against Ed's. Well, of course it did. That was how kisses sort of went, but this was, well, a bit surprising.

rated:K-L | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: Ch. 84 | humor | Ed/Ling | first time


It was honestly not a kiss.

rated:K-L-S | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | humor | romance | Ed/Ling
prequel: Wife | sequel: Photographs |


"I'm hungry."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Gluttony | Sloth | humor


"I am not obsessed with Edward Elric!"

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | SP: ep 10-11 | Ed/Russell | dubcon | humor | redux | romance


Alchemy. It's all fun and games until somebody loses a limb and creates an abomination.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | parody


He gently turned Ed's head so that he faced the camera, and with just a little luck, Ling would catch that amazing expression Ed always had when he came.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | mid-series | Roy Mustang | crossdressing | humor | Ed/Ling
prequel: Food Fight |


After three years, two months, fourteen days and five hours of anticipation, Roy heard a knock at the door to his house.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Ed/Roy | bondage | crossdressing | humor | kink


"Yeah. Him again. The Colonel doesn't know when to quit, does he?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | general | humor


Now Ed was into his favorite mode, bitch-at-the-bastard-father-who-ditched-us.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"Oh yeah... Huh!" Ed looked around, brightening. "Wow, it looks a lot different upright and not burning."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | meta