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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


"You can't do that! This is a shounen series!" he hissed.

rated:M-S | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Ed/Roy | drama | humor | meta


"I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Brother," Al said loyally, and Ed scowled.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"I'm too young to die," Ed babbled.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | kink | cosplay


"Get out of the kitchen, brother," he snarled, waving the spatula threateningly. "I'm still cooking, damnit."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | sweet | Al/Ed


"Don't worry about it," he says bossily. "I know what to do. Give me the book--don't close it--ah, thanks."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | sweet | Al/Ed


"I'll have you know I'm in a committed monogamous relationship."

rated:G | S+S | crack | humor | Roy/__


A collection of 100 word ficlets.

rated:M-L | GEN S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | Ed/Winry | angst | drama | fluff | gore | humor | pwp | Al/Ed | Izumi/Sig


With a sense of rising dread, Alphonse raised his fist to pound for admittance, worry tinging his voice. "Brother? Are you alright in there?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | post-series | general | humor | Al/Ed


Eventually, Roy had to take things into his own hands. Was it really his fault that it had ended up so literal?

rated:G | M×F | Mangaverse | mid-series | Roy Mustang | humor | Havoc/Various


Let me start by saying that I love my grandchildren.  Actually, they’re my great great grandchildren, but that’s repetitive and makes me sound old, so screw that.

rated:G | S×S | Shambhala | post-series | Alphonse Elric | Ed/Alfons | humor | sap


"I am not obsessed with Edward Elric!"

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | SP: ep 10-11 | Ed/Russell | dubcon | humor | redux | romance


"Huh? Whose fault? Ahahah.. aha..." Ed tried to avoid the topic.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Ed/Roy | fluff | humor


"You are so dead, bastard," Ed said, still in that dreamy tone, and took a step forwards.

rated:K | M+F S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | Various


"This," Edward said authoritatively, "is bullshit."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | blanketfic | humor


After three years, two months, fourteen days and five hours of anticipation, Roy heard a knock at the door to his house.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Ed/Roy | bondage | crossdressing | humor | kink


"And search for free porn." Havoc pointed out.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | drama | humor | 354th FG HQ


There was a lot to be said for experimentation, Ed thought later, when Al was curled up in his arms as Winry fussed in the bathroom.

rated:M-S | M×F S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | fluff | humor | Al/Ed/Winry


Now Ed was into his favorite mode, bitch-at-the-bastard-father-who-ditched-us.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


Please don't tell my brother. I don't think he'd understand.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"You could have roped in the typing pool instead, they moon over the Colonel all the time."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor


If Al could have frowned suspiciously, he would have.  Instead he relied on his expressive vocal stylings as he propped his brother upright.  “What’s in that glass, Brother?”

rated:G | GEN | Mangaverse | mid-series | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Ling Yao | humor | alcohol


Gloved hands shot out and grabbed the book in question, dragging it off the shelf and holding it to the light.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor | Hohenheim/Trisha


No kinks, no cross-dressing, no tag-team threesomes, and all pets must be ushered out of the room beforehand.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Shambhala | humor | kink | pwp


"All this will do is give your soul access to the feelings that should be in your body right now, just like a normal teenage boy."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Ed


"I'm sorry! Look, I'll fix it. I didn't know it was going to turn out this way!"

rated:G | M+F | genderswitch | humor | parody


"Hey, Ed, you're awfully cheery this morning."

rated:K | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: Ch. 84 | Greed | humor | Ed/Ling


The logical thing was that brother defer to brother, who would have thought in this one instance that selfishness would rear its head?

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Shambhala | humor


Ling tried to cover his way with sly smiles and clever lines; he played at being a fool (and did it very well), when he was anything but.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Ed/Ling


He didn't die of natural causes, oh no — the old man clung to life tenaciously.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | parody


Ah. Fans. He preens slightly into his coat, sits up just a little taller on his haunches. Fans he knows how to deal with.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | fluff | humor


I noticed, Ed told him with as much edge as he could muster.

rated:K-S | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Ed/Roy | general | humor | pwp | sap


"Tall girls need not apply," Hughes read aloud, without even the trace of a smirk.

rated:K | M+F S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | First Place, Het & Non-Het | Green Lion Winner | Riza Hawkeye | Roy Mustang | angst | humor | sweet | Elric Kyoudai | 354th FG HQ | 2004 First Kiss, Non-Het


You could attribute it to teenage rebellion, if you liked, or to homunculus-hormones, which could be quite fierce, or heck, maybe she was just living up to her name.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Lust/Roy | crack | humor


Ed looked down at the camera again, and smiled an evil, evil smile.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | Elric Kyoudai | 354th FG HQ


High school and sexuality are hard enough to deal with, without adding high explosives to the mix.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Alt Universe | alt-timeline | drama | dubcon | humor | 2009 Brave New Worlds, Reprint | Archer/Kimblee


As stated in the catalog, our Model 436b Hairless Ape is highly customizable, designed with the discerning deity in mind.

rated:G | GEN | Alt Universe | humor | parody


"But he's just a kid... he's too short to be a criminal..."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | crossover | humor | Elric Kyoudai


And everyone knows, when a homunculus is in trouble, there’s only one place to go!

rated:G | GEN | Alt Universe | Who Framed Roger Rabbit? | Alphonse Elric | Greed | crack | fusion | humor


"Al," Ed said seriously and leaned forward to look up into his brother's glowing eyes, "if he had mind control powers, you would tell me, right?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | sap


Too many more nights of excuses are going to drive him from appropriately celibate to stark raving mad.

rated:M-L-S | S+S S×S | Shambhala | humor | sweet | Al/Ed


Ed frowned slightly; that thought pushed dangerously at the border of sappiness.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | fluff | humor | Al/Ed/Alfons


"...Sir..." he tried, beginning to compose himself again. "Don't you think...ah...that this isn't very professional of either of us?"

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Best Humorous Smut, TKKN Contest | Offsite Award | Armstrong/Envy | crack | humor


Sometimes Al thinks that somewhere back in the Armstrong family tree lurks an alchemical accident in a sequin factory.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Al/Roy | humor | Al/Ed


Al decided he didn't like that particular grin on his brother's face.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | unhappy Roy | humor


He gently turned Ed's head so that he faced the camera, and with just a little luck, Ling would catch that amazing expression Ed always had when he came.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | mid-series | Roy Mustang | crossdressing | humor | Ed/Ling
prequel: Food Fight |


"I remember the flavor too; it was strawberry. It's still his favorite."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Riza Hawkeye | Winry Rockbell | humor


"Shut up. Don't say anything. I made you food, and there's beer in the icebox, and happy fucking Oktoberfest."

rated:K-L | S×S | Shambhala | mid-series | Ed/Alfons | crossdressing | humor


"I like you a lot Al. I really do. It's just... you are kind of intimidating..." and seven feet tall, made of metal and a boy...

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Havoc


If armor could narrow its eyes, Ed knew Al would have been doing so.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor