Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.
Schezcka pushed her glasses up, using the glass reflection to hide her eyes.
Ah. Fans. He preens slightly into his coat, sits up just a little taller on his haunches. Fans he knows how to deal with.
The sheer naughtiness of it all was unexpectedly exciting, and she found herself trembling even before the cold steel met her skin.
Not a fairy, then, Alfons thought in disappointment. The fairies in stories weren't usually so foul-mouthed and excitable, anyway.
"For only one arm..." Ed rasped out, gritting his teeth against the pain.
No kinks, no cross-dressing, no tag-team threesomes, and all pets must be ushered out of the room beforehand.
"I believe my exact words were, 'a microscopically short bean boy the size of a pin'."
Around two o'clock in the afternoon, women around the city began to disappear ... and a crowd, primarily of females, formed along Third Street.
It was just the men today, sitting around drinking coffee and playing cards and waiting for the paint to peel or the Fuhrer-in-Training to request they do something.
Too many more nights of excuses are going to drive him from appropriately celibate to stark raving mad.
"All this will do is give your soul access to the feelings that should be in your body right now, just like a normal teenage boy."
Roy cleared his throat, and stepped up to the podium. "Welcome to Elric Fanciers Anonymous," he said.
He mostly trusted his brother to be able to put a nearly-three-year-old to bed by himself, but...Al should probably check, just to be sure.
"You are so dead, bastard," Ed said, still in that dreamy tone, and took a step forwards.
One day Edward was out kicking the crap out of those damn Homunculus with Al...
This would be so much easier if he could just refuse the man to his face.
Ed jabbed accusingly with an automail finger — nearly putting out Mustang's eye as he did so — and shrieked, "You're a crossdresser!"
He underestimates the little things, like how long it will take him to put his socks on in the morning, and she comes up the stairs when breakfast is long since over to find him crouched over a torn stocking, blinking back furious tears...
"Let me get this straight — you want to kiss me to support a theory!?"
Roy smiled slowly as Edward approached his desk, his usual careless pose turned into something... challenging.
"So by 'torture,' you really mean 'sexual gratification'. Specifically your sexual gratification.
ROY: [calmly] If drinking means acting like an idiot the way you are, I'm going to pass.
Open Mike Night at Rush Valley's one and only coffee house attracts a great many of the town's most ridiculous people.
The magazine told him he was doing it all wrong. First, it said he was boring. Then, it said he was bad in bed. Next, it said he was inconsiderate. After that, it told him he was gullible.
Ed opened his mouth, and then closed it. "Visibility is that important to you, huh?" he said.
"Huh? Whose fault? Ahahah.. aha..." Ed tried to avoid the topic.
Ed shrugged, although his expression suggested he was trying to keep from being too smug about beating a man almost twice his age.
Well, it sure looks like the rumors were true about Wednesday nights, Ed thought, easing inconspicuously along the edges of the room. But I never knew so many soldiers were gay.
"I know those court ordered anger management classes were years ago, but you've come such a long way."
The air feels cold against Al's face, and even colder down his naked back.
Ed should have remembered this from that month on the island, back when he was a kid: you can only be in the great outdoors so long before you start dreaming of hot showers. And of dumping the people you're travelling with in them.
That was the problem with girls these days... they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain.
The Colonel's staff next door ignored the pleas for help and gunshots.
Edward Elric was notoriously known for his intense dislike of milk.
"I remember the flavor too; it was strawberry. It's still his favorite."
Sergeant Broche smiled in frozen panic at the miniature devil that had cornered him in the officer's mess.
Ed looked down at the camera again, and smiled an evil, evil smile.
She looked the wire over for a minute, noting where the insulation had been stripped away for retuning, then tugged it gently, careful not to pull too hard.
...Edward saw red - but he took a couple of deep breaths before answering. He knew a real kicker now, thanks to Hawkeye.
Any girl would be driven insane if she was the youngest child and the only girl in a family of six children.
There was a lot to be said for experimentation, Ed thought later, when Al was curled up in his arms as Winry fussed in the bathroom.
"So ...." Havoc tried to look nonchalant. "Fullmetal's hair is, uh ... bright."
Etiquette doesn't quite cover situations like this one.
"We ought to have a toast," Ed says, frowning into the depths of his bottle. "They always do when they're having a drink in someone's memory."
"I like you a lot Al. I really do. It's just... you are kind of intimidating..." and seven feet tall, made of metal and a boy...