Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.
"Hey, Ed, you're awfully cheery this morning."
Any girl would be driven insane if she was the youngest child and the only girl in a family of six children.
"What part of self-defense was it to write 'BIG FAT NINNY' on his forehead in permanent marker?"
ROY: [calmly] If drinking means acting like an idiot the way you are, I'm going to pass.
After so many years in the dark, Edward Elric had discovered he had a libido after all, and it was unfortunately exacting its frustrated vengeance upon one Alphonse Elric.
But suddenly, when Al had his body back, it was like picking up an old book and learning something new.
Eventually, Roy had to take things into his own hands. Was it really his fault that it had ended up so literal?
"I must savor every moment of every love letter I recieve to do the sender justice," Mustang said, before proceeding to open the letter.
"All this will do is give your soul access to the feelings that should be in your body right now, just like a normal teenage boy."
"My neighbors would start saying things behind my back if I took home a suit of armor."
"You can't do that! This is a shounen series!" he hissed.
"I'm sorry! Look, I'll fix it. I didn't know it was going to turn out this way!"
He mostly trusted his brother to be able to put a nearly-three-year-old to bed by himself, but...Al should probably check, just to be sure.
"You aren't Envy, are you? Because if you are, I'll kick your ass and find out what you've done with my brother."
To every outlandish, self-serving, and sometimes damn near suicidal thing that Edward Elric suggested, Jean Havoc would always reply mildly, with just a touch of good humor, "You're the boss."
Edward Elric was notoriously known for his intense dislike of milk.
"Bill for repair of said hotel after occupants of said room 'incited riot'?"
“Sir,” he says, and Roy could be imagining it, but he thinks Falman’s usually flat tone has a hint of panic in it. “Have you read this memo yet?”
Well, it sure looks like the rumors were true about Wednesday nights, Ed thought, easing inconspicuously along the edges of the room. But I never knew so many soldiers were gay.
Alphonse washed, and Edward dried (owing to the automail; safer not to submerge), and between the two of them the stack eventually diminished.
"Huh? Whose fault? Ahahah.. aha..." Ed tried to avoid the topic.
A collection of 100 word ficlets.
The staff look at each other, look at their automail bottle-opener, and prepare to duck.
Roy was enchanted by the sound of her voice, pure like dewdrops in the morning.
"For only one arm..." Ed rasped out, gritting his teeth against the pain.
"Go back to sleep, Mustang," Ed answers absently, flipping the page.
Ed's heart began pounding in anticipation of the rush he'd feel when the process was over.
Alchemy. It's all fun and games until somebody loses a limb and creates an abomination.
As stated in the catalog, our Model 436b Hairless Ape is highly customizable, designed with the discerning deity in mind.
"...Sir..." he tried, beginning to compose himself again. "Don't you think...ah...that this isn't very professional of either of us?"
At a large mahogany desk, polished to an almost jewel-like shine, sat Colonel Edward Elric, who was deep into his paperwork. Or at least that is how he appeared.
The air feels cold against Al's face, and even colder down his naked back.
Okay, his hair wasn't brushed, and it had been a while since he'd gotten a bath, but he didn't think it was anything to blush at.
"Al," Ed said seriously and leaned forward to look up into his brother's glowing eyes, "if he had mind control powers, you would tell me, right?"
After three years, two months, fourteen days and five hours of anticipation, Roy heard a knock at the door to his house.
He gently turned Ed's head so that he faced the camera, and with just a little luck, Ling would catch that amazing expression Ed always had when he came.
He'd lied in smoke filled bars. He'd hunted down lubricants in seedy stores that catered to the most iffy of clientele. Alfons had EARNED Ed's love.
It was sure to be a disaster.
"Do we still have cucumbers? Or I guess I could transmute a mold, do you need this dining chair?"
The Colonel's staff next door ignored the pleas for help and gunshots.
Let it never be said that whatever his obsessive tendencies, Edward Elric was unable to enjoy life's simpler pleasures.
"You know we need to catch that train to Central, and you were being unreasonable. If we're late getting back again, General Mustang's going to have a fit."
Right. He saw their little game. They wanted to freak him out, break his mind into little pieces. He could resist.
The door opened, and all the energy Ed had been ready to put towards transmuting the door into a pile of sticks drained out of him through his feet.
"Brother says Mr. Mustang grabbed his behind today while he was at the blackboard," he explained as his blush slowly faded, and Ed scowled.
... to prove his point, he wields his tongue as he would a pen, hastily spelling out the letters P-E-R-V-E-R-T with his saliva...
She had heard all the lines before. Pinako was a female in a mostly male line of work, after all.
Ling tried to cover his way with sly smiles and clever lines; he played at being a fool (and did it very well), when he was anything but.
Sometimes Al thinks that somewhere back in the Armstrong family tree lurks an alchemical accident in a sequin factory.