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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


The idiot prince still couldn't be bothered to figure out the different notes and coins, probably because he'd never actually paid for anything in his life.

rated:K-L | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: Ch. 84 | Edward Elric | Greed | Ling Yao | humor | introspective | UST


To every outlandish, self-serving, and sometimes damn near suicidal thing that Edward Elric suggested, Jean Havoc would always reply mildly, with just a touch of good humor, "You're the boss."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | bdsm | crossdressing | humor | Ed/Havoc


Typical Ed; overprotective, hypocritical, condescending, and for some reason fundamentally incapable of treating Al as an equal.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Ed


At a large mahogany desk, polished to an almost jewel-like shine, sat Colonel Edward Elric, who was deep into his paperwork. Or at least that is how he appeared.

rated:M-S | S×S | Mangaverse | TWT | Ed/Roy | bdsm | humor | pwp


He mostly trusted his brother to be able to put a nearly-three-year-old to bed by himself, but...Al should probably check, just to be sure.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Alicia Hughes | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | humor


It was, and he hated to admit it, an intriguing proposal. Ed wondered who the General had leaned on to get it written in just such a way to make his alchemic blood tingle.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | Al/Riza | Ed/Roy | angst | drama | humor


...Edward saw red - but he took a couple of deep breaths before answering. He knew a real kicker now, thanks to Hawkeye.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


That was the problem with girls these days... they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | OC | Pinako Rockbell | humor


Roy stuck a finger in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it as he savored the heavy and rich fluid.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


He decided, then, quite firmly, that he wasn't ever going to drink coffee again, with anybody. It was too risky.

rated:G-S | GEN | Fullmetal | pre-series | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | Riza Hawkeye | Roy Mustang | humor


Ling tried to cover his way with sly smiles and clever lines; he played at being a fool (and did it very well), when he was anything but.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Ed/Ling


Around two o'clock in the afternoon, women around the city began to disappear ... and a crowd, primarily of females, formed along Third Street.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


Unfortunately, Winry's 'own devices' were becoming the death of Pinako's various household devices.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Winry Rockbell | humor


"Were you maybe expecting an announcement? Trumpets?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | angst | humor


Let me start by saying that I love my grandchildren.  Actually, they’re my great great grandchildren, but that’s repetitive and makes me sound old, so screw that.

rated:G | S×S | Shambhala | post-series | Alphonse Elric | Ed/Alfons | humor | sap


"I like you a lot Al. I really do. It's just... you are kind of intimidating..." and seven feet tall, made of metal and a boy...

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Havoc


“Um, you must’ve learned that from Colonel Bastard.  You’d better not be flashing that at the nurses.  Or at me, ever, ever again.”

rated:G | GEN | Mangaverse | post-series | DF: ch 107 | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Jean Havoc | humor


Ed jabbed accusingly with an automail finger — nearly putting out Mustang's eye as he did so — and shrieked, "You're a crossdresser!"

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


"I'm too young to die," Ed babbled.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | kink | cosplay


"Edward," Hawkeye said kindly, "has it occurred to you that you and Alphonse may be spending too much time alone?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"Well... Brother does that, every so often. He really should think before he tries to attack people."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Roy Mustang | humor | Elric Kyoudai


He underestimates the little things, like how long it will take him to put his socks on in the morning, and she comes up the stairs when breakfast is long since over to find him crouched over a torn stocking, blinking back furious tears...

rated:M | M+F M×F | Fullmetal | all-series | SP: ep 51 | Ed/Winry | angst | drama | humor


Ed should have remembered this from that month on the island, back when he was a kid: you can only be in the great outdoors so long before you start dreaming of hot showers. And of dumping the people you're travelling with in them.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: up to ch 84 | Darius | Edward Elric | Greed | Heinkel | Ling Yao | humor | Ed/Ling


Not a fairy, then, Alfons thought in disappointment. The fairies in stories weren't usually so foul-mouthed and excitable, anyway.

rated:G-L | GEN | Alt Universe | post-series | DF: ep. 51 | Alfons Heiderich | Edward Elric | crack | humor


She had heard all the lines before. Pinako was a female in a mostly male line of work, after all.

rated:G | M×F | Fullmetal | humor | Armstrong/Pinako


There were whispers behind him, words exchanged in a frantic flurry of hisses and low notes.

rated:K | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Havoc/Roy | drama | humor | Ed/Havoc


If armor could narrow its eyes, Ed knew Al would have been doing so.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


It was an old argument — practically every night, the ritual sparring for who'd be in control.

rated:K-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Ed/Roy | age difference | humor | rival-love


After so many years in the dark, Edward Elric had discovered he had a libido after all, and it was unfortunately exacting its frustrated vengeance upon one Alphonse Elric.

rated:M-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | Al/Ed | 354th FG HQ


"Just remind me, even if the alternative is to sleep on a ice cube, NEVER to share a bed with you again.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | Riza/Roy | humor


"Now, this will make a good design for the new uniforms."

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | drama | humor


Smug, he'd stayed just long enough to give his report and then had marched straight off to Resembool with Al lagging behind.

rated:K-L | M×F S×S | Brotherhood | post-series | Alphonse Elric | Roy Mustang | general | humor | Ed/Various | 2010 Best New Voices, Adept


"Bill for repair of said hotel after occupants of said room 'incited riot'?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | SP: ep 15 | humor | parody


He'd lied in smoke filled bars. He'd hunted down lubricants in seedy stores that catered to the most iffy of clientele. Alfons had EARNED Ed's love.

rated:G | S×S | Shambhala | Ed/Alfons | humor | Al/Ed


With two younger sisters himself, he knew well that siblings quarreled, but never to this extent.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | crack | humor


The sheer naughtiness of it all was unexpectedly exciting, and she found herself trembling even before the cold steel met her skin.

rated:M-S | M×F | Fullmetal | post-series | Al/Winry | humor


Welcome to the military, Fullmetal."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | kink | Ed/Various


"So," said Ling. "I was thinking, perhaps my father can buy out Ed's contract."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | Ling/Roy | humor | pwp


His boyfriend. He wants me to be his boyfriend. He's wooing me with gifts. I'm being courted!

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | angst | fluff | humor | romance


The Colonel narrowly saved himself the disgrace of fumbling for Edward's name (Id? Alex? Eowan?) by resorting, once again, to his title.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


... and the moral of the story is - well, I guess there's no moral to this story, it's just a bunch of stuff that happened. Kind of like the rest of this movie.

rated:G | GEN | Shambhala | all-series | SP: movie | crack | humor | script | parody


He lay back on the couch (in Roy Mustang's office, where else?) and declared , "I'm not wearing this."

rated:M-L-S | GEN S×S | Fullmetal | unhappy Edward | fluff | humor


"You could have roped in the typing pool instead, they moon over the Colonel all the time."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor


It doesn’t disappoint, never does; Ed is standing on the corner when the car arrives, all sharp moody edges and obtrusively coloured blue shorts.

rated:K-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | Ed/Roy | humor | sweet


"What do you mean, you're PREGNANT?" Ed yelled through the door.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | SP: ep 28 | Izumi Curtis | humor | parody | Elric Kyoudai | mpreg


"I believe my exact words were, 'a microscopically short bean boy the size of a pin'."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"In case you hadn't noticed," Ed went on, poking Roy in the chest, "I am no longer twelve."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | sap


"When I walked in on you in the bath, Edward, I wasn't expecting Al to be there too."

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | SP: ep 04, 06+ | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | drama | humor


Ed opened his mouth, and then closed it. "Visibility is that important to you, huh?" he said.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | TWT | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | humor | 354th FG HQ