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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


"Just talking and showing won't help much. He needs to try things before he can get them right."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | DF: movie | bondage | humor | Al/Ed/Alfons


Eventually, Roy had to take things into his own hands. Was it really his fault that it had ended up so literal?

rated:G | M×F | Mangaverse | mid-series | Roy Mustang | humor | Havoc/Various


"You could have roped in the typing pool instead, they moon over the Colonel all the time."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor


He decided, then, quite firmly, that he wasn't ever going to drink coffee again, with anybody. It was too risky.

rated:G-S | GEN | Fullmetal | pre-series | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | Riza Hawkeye | Roy Mustang | humor


"Edward," Hawkeye said kindly, "has it occurred to you that you and Alphonse may be spending too much time alone?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


Well, it sure looks like the rumors were true about Wednesday nights, Ed thought, easing inconspicuously along the edges of the room.  But I never knew so many soldiers were gay.

rated:M-S | S×S | Mangaverse | post-series | DF: ch 107 | first time | Kain Fuery | Roy Mustang | humor | Ed/__ | alcohol | first time


"Brother says Mr. Mustang grabbed his behind today while he was at the blackboard," he explained as his blush slowly faded, and Ed scowled.

rated:G | S+S | Alt Universe | humor


You could attribute it to teenage rebellion, if you liked, or to homunculus-hormones, which could be quite fierce, or heck, maybe she was just living up to her name.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | mid-series | Lust/Roy | crack | humor


"Bill for repair of said hotel after occupants of said room 'incited riot'?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | SP: ep 15 | humor | parody


"I am not obsessed with Edward Elric!"

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | SP: ep 10-11 | Ed/Russell | dubcon | humor | redux | romance


Ed frowned slightly; that thought pushed dangerously at the border of sappiness.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | fluff | humor | Al/Ed/Alfons


Al decided he didn't like that particular grin on his brother's face.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | unhappy Roy | humor


The air feels cold against Al's face, and even colder down his naked back.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Al/Roy | exhibitionism | humor


He'd lied in smoke filled bars. He'd hunted down lubricants in seedy stores that catered to the most iffy of clientele. Alfons had EARNED Ed's love.

rated:G | S×S | Shambhala | Ed/Alfons | humor | Al/Ed


"It's blue!" Edward announced with the voice of desperation.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | Al/Ed


"Oh yeah... Huh!" Ed looked around, brightening. "Wow, it looks a lot different upright and not burning."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | meta


He was just contemplating a launch, kick and a dash for the window when Armstrong's hands closed in his hair.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | cosplay


There was a lot to be said for experimentation, Ed thought later, when Al was curled up in his arms as Winry fussed in the bathroom.

rated:M-S | M×F S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | fluff | humor | Al/Ed/Winry


Gloved hands shot out and grabbed the book in question, dragging it off the shelf and holding it to the light.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor | Hohenheim/Trisha


"My neighbors would start saying things behind my back if I took home a suit of armor."

rated:G | M+F | Mangaverse | crack | humor


Pillow talk, with the Fullmetal Alchemist, was shop talk.

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | Czeska/Ed | humor | pwp


The only problem was that Ed didn't know what the heck "getting some" was or what he was being congratulated for.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | fluff | humor


"I'm hungry."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Gluttony | Sloth | humor


"So," said Ling. "I was thinking, perhaps my father can buy out Ed's contract."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Mangaverse | Ling/Roy | humor | pwp


And everyone knows, when a homunculus is in trouble, there’s only one place to go!

rated:G | GEN | Alt Universe | Who Framed Roger Rabbit? | Alphonse Elric | Greed | crack | fusion | humor


"And search for free porn." Havoc pointed out.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | drama | humor | 354th FG HQ


The door opened, and all the energy Ed had been ready to put towards transmuting the door into a pile of sticks drained out of him through his feet.

rated:M-L | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | pwp | reluctant uke


The kid had said she was into ... different things, but in all his years Greed could not recall ever having found eggs a helpful sex aide.

rated:K | M×F | Mangaverse | post-series | bdsm | humor | Greed/OC


A small biological flaw, if one could even consider it that.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Armstrong/Havoc


"Al," Ed said seriously and leaned forward to look up into his brother's glowing eyes, "if he had mind control powers, you would tell me, right?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | sap


The staff look at each other, look at their automail bottle-opener, and prepare to duck.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | post-series | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | humor | 354th FG HQ


"Hey, Ed, you're awfully cheery this morning."

rated:K | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: Ch. 84 | Greed | humor | Ed/Ling


And then the Words were coming again, maddening addiction crawling straight down inside, making him itch, making him want.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor | Ed/self


One day Edward was out kicking the crap out of those damn Homunculus with Al...

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | badfic | humor | 2004 First Kiss, Gen


He was coming to read Alfons pretty well now too, and from what Al did understand he could give as good as he got.

rated:G | S+S | Shambhala | post-series | SP: movie | Russell Tringham | Ed/Alfons | fluff | humor | romance


"Well... Brother does that, every so often. He really should think before he tries to attack people."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Roy Mustang | humor | Elric Kyoudai


There was a crunching noise from Roy's direction, as of teeth biting through the edge of a porcelain cup.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"Hey! She did it blindfolded! No one else could do that! And better her than that old hag!"

rated:K-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | crack | fluff | humor


In a blur of red and flying braid, Ed is on his knees before her.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Edward Elric | crack | humor


If Ed had his way, his allowance (and all of Roy's salary) would be spent entirely on the most expensive brand of dog food to have ever existed.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | DF: ep 01 | Edward Elric | Nina Tucker | Roy Mustang | angst | humor


The Colonel narrowly saved himself the disgrace of fumbling for Edward's name (Id? Alex? Eowan?) by resorting, once again, to his title.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"Stop that," he snapped, flicking the tap on. "Change into something a little more appropriate. You're not him, brother."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | action | angst | drama | humor | Al/Ed


It was the first official meeting of the Big But Not Scary Club.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Sig Curtis | humor | parody


"I'm sorry! Look, I'll fix it. I didn't know it was going to turn out this way!"

rated:G | M+F | genderswitch | humor | parody


"Huh? Whose fault? Ahahah.. aha..." Ed tried to avoid the topic.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Ed/Roy | fluff | humor


"Oh, what would YOU know? said Winry. "You've never looked at a girl in your life."

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | TWT | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Winry Rockbell | humor | sweet


Envy had to admit, Edward Elric's body was convenient for maneuvering around the people in a crowd.

rated:K-V | GEN | Fullmetal | Envy | humor


"Stupid bullies," Ed grumbled, limping for a few steps before he remembered that he wasn't supposed to be feeling it. "Call me a girl, will they?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


Fullmetal was starting to turn slightly purple, now, which definitely clashed with his coloring...

rated:M-L-S | M×F S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | genderswitch | humor