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humor

Comedy, slapstick, and (sometimes) bad puns.


It started with Ling's lips simply pressed up against Ed's. Well, of course it did. That was how kisses sort of went, but this was, well, a bit surprising.

rated:K-L | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: Ch. 84 | humor | Ed/Ling | first time


"You'd think the Colonel would have plenty of experience in dealing with irate brothers by now."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Alphonse Elric | Ed/Roy | humor | 354th FG HQ


"Stupid bullies," Ed grumbled, limping for a few steps before he remembered that he wasn't supposed to be feeling it. "Call me a girl, will they?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


Let it never be said that whatever his obsessive tendencies, Edward Elric was unable to enjoy life's simpler pleasures.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


She looked the wire over for a minute, noting where the insulation had been stripped away for retuning, then tugged it gently, careful not to pull too hard.

rated:G | M+F | Fullmetal | Ed/Winry | humor


Al should've never told his mother the box was a present for Winry.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Winry Rockbell | fluff | humor


Really, who said that a woman's sex life had to end at 60? An experienced woman had a lot to offer, and Pinako was quite, quite experienced.

rated:M-L-S | M×F | Fullmetal | crack | humor | ref. drugs | Pinako/Roy | Ed/Czeska/Winry


This really was turning out to be a day of surprises, thought Roy.

rated:K-L-V | S+S | Mangaverse | mid-series | SP: up to ch 35-ish | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Riza Hawkeye | Roy Mustang | Ed/Roy | action | humor | UST


"I'll have you know I'm in a committed monogamous relationship."

rated:G | S+S | crack | humor | Roy/__


Roy cleared his throat, and stepped up to the podium. "Welcome to Elric Fanciers Anonymous," he said.

rated:G | M+F S+S | Fullmetal | humor | Ed/Various


Gloved hands shot out and grabbed the book in question, dragging it off the shelf and holding it to the light.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | humor | Hohenheim/Trisha


"Huh? Whose fault? Ahahah.. aha..." Ed tried to avoid the topic.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Ed/Roy | fluff | humor


"Do we still have cucumbers? Or I guess I could transmute a mold, do you need this dining chair?"

rated:K-S | M+F | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | Ed/OC | Ed/self


"Yeah. Him again. The Colonel doesn't know when to quit, does he?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | general | humor


"Were you maybe expecting an announcement? Trumpets?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | angst | humor


The audience fades away; the chatters dies, their twin breaths are the soft herald of thunder to come.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | DF: ep 01 | sidestory: The Path Not Taken | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | humor


That was the problem with girls these days... they just didn't know how to deal with a little pain.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Edward Elric | OC | Pinako Rockbell | humor


"Don't worry about it," he says bossily. "I know what to do. Give me the book--don't close it--ah, thanks."

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | sweet | Al/Ed


"I must savor every moment of every love letter I recieve to do the sender justice," Mustang said, before proceeding to open the letter.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | fluff | humor


Open Mike Night at Rush Valley's one and only coffee house attracts a great many of the town's most ridiculous people.

rated:G | M+F S×S | Fullmetal | Ed/Russell | Ed/Winry | humor | Havoc/OC


There were whispers behind him, words exchanged in a frantic flurry of hisses and low notes.

rated:K | S×S | Fullmetal | mid-series | Havoc/Roy | drama | humor | Ed/Havoc


Thank you General Mustang. At least that creep was good for something. Winry still wasn't convinced he was good for Ed.

rated:K-L | S+S | Brotherhood | post-series | DF: ep 43 | Alphonse Elric | Winry Rockbell | Ed/Roy | humor | 354th FG HQ | 2010 Best New Voices, Neophyte


A collection of 100 word ficlets.

rated:M-L | GEN, M×F S×S | Fullmetal | all-series | Ed/Roy | Ed/Winry | angst | drama | fluff | gore | humor | pwp | Al/Ed | Izumi/Sig


"Bill for repair of said hotel after occupants of said room 'incited riot'?"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | SP: ep 15 | humor | parody


"Now, this will make a good design for the new uniforms."

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | drama | humor


Smug, he'd stayed just long enough to give his report and then had marched straight off to Resembool with Al lagging behind.

rated:K-L | M×F S×S | Brotherhood | post-series | Alphonse Elric | Roy Mustang | general | humor | Ed/Various | 2010 Best New Voices, Adept


It took you long enough to make your call. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how to work a phone.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | mid-series | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | humor | script | 354th FG HQ


"Shut up. Don't say anything. I made you food, and there's beer in the icebox, and happy fucking Oktoberfest."

rated:K-L | S×S | Shambhala | mid-series | Ed/Alfons | crossdressing | humor


"It's good to hear that Fullmetal is in good spirits, if he's being so obtrusive in showing off."

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | ed+boobies | humor


Ed gave a scream of incoherent rage. "AL! YOU BASTARD!"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


"He's the Fullmetal Alchemist," Alphonse interrupted, tapping his pen against his clipboard. "Are you sure you're up to the task?"

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | fluff | humor | Al/Ed | Ed/OC


The Colonel narrowly saved himself the disgrace of fumbling for Edward's name (Id? Alex? Eowan?) by resorting, once again, to his title.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor


Ah. Fans. He preens slightly into his coat, sits up just a little taller on his haunches. Fans he knows how to deal with.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | fluff | humor


There was a lot to be said for experimentation, Ed thought later, when Al was curled up in his arms as Winry fussed in the bathroom.

rated:M-S | M×F S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | fluff | humor | Al/Ed/Winry


"Al," Ed said seriously and leaned forward to look up into his brother's glowing eyes, "if he had mind control powers, you would tell me, right?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor | sap


"So ...." Havoc tried to look nonchalant. "Fullmetal's hair is, uh ... bright."

rated:M-L | GEN, S+S S×S | Fullmetal | angst | humor | pwp


And everyone knows, when a homunculus is in trouble, there’s only one place to go!

rated:G | GEN | Alt Universe | Who Framed Roger Rabbit? | Alphonse Elric | Greed | crack | fusion | humor


ROY: [calmly] If drinking means acting like an idiot the way you are, I'm going to pass.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | TWT | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Maes Hughes | Roy Mustang | humor | script


His brother was brilliant at many things, but finances were not one of them.

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | humor | Elric Kyoudai


"Alchemy is intended for the public good. If it wasn't anything illegal, why the need for secrecy?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | Ed/Roy | humor


Well, it sure looks like the rumors were true about Wednesday nights, Ed thought, easing inconspicuously along the edges of the room.  But I never knew so many soldiers were gay.

rated:M-S | S×S | Mangaverse | post-series | DF: ch 107 | first time | Kain Fuery | Roy Mustang | humor | Ed/__ | alcohol | first time


Edward Elric swallows.

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | TWT | Ed/Roy | humor


"Get out of the kitchen, brother," he snarled, waving the spatula threateningly. "I'm still cooking, damnit."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | post-series | humor | sweet | Al/Ed


"I'm going to plant a few solid pounds of Risembool milled steel right in her catty, smirking face is what I'm going to do!"

rated:G | GEN | Fullmetal | genderswitch | humor | 354th FG HQ


Typical Ed; overprotective, hypocritical, condescending, and for some reason fundamentally incapable of treating Al as an equal.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | Al/Ed


With a sense of rising dread, Alphonse raised his fist to pound for admittance, worry tinging his voice. "Brother? Are you alright in there?"

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | post-series | general | humor | Al/Ed


No kinks, no cross-dressing, no tag-team threesomes, and all pets must be ushered out of the room beforehand.

rated:M-L-S | S×S | Shambhala | humor | kink | pwp


Welcome to the military, Fullmetal."

rated:G | S×S | Fullmetal | humor | kink | Ed/Various


Edward glared up at him, wiping some of the stuff off his nose.

rated:G | S+S | Fullmetal | drama | humor