Told in play/script format.
ROY: [calmly] If drinking means acting like an idiot the way you are, I'm going to pass.
... and the moral of the story is - well, I guess there's no moral to this story, it's just a bunch of stuff that happened. Kind of like the rest of this movie.
It took you long enough to make your call. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how to work a phone.