"Well, I guess she can't keep him away from every bitch in heat around this place."
Sergeant Broche smiled in frozen panic at the miniature devil that had cornered him in the officer's mess.
She hated being idle; it ranked far above the petty pain of a mere gunshot-wound in her personal list of annoyances.
"You paid for him to have sex?" Mustang says incredulously, putting his pen down on the table top and shoving the form away. "You bought him a prostitute?"
"Just who're you calling..." Edward's voice stuttered to a halt as he saw where the man was pointing. "...short?"
It took you long enough to make your call. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten how to work a phone.
He even dragged out his Best Manners for the occasion, the ones his mother had taught him so long ago.
Brother likes to pretend that he doesn't care what goes on in the military unless it directly affects him. Or, you know, directly offends him. One or the other.
"I'm going to plant a few solid pounds of Risembool milled steel right in her catty, smirking face is what I'm going to do!"
After so many years in the dark, Edward Elric had discovered he had a libido after all, and it was unfortunately exacting its frustrated vengeance upon one Alphonse Elric.
"Our boy here hasn't done a lick of work since eleven am, and she hasn't noticed at all. D'you think she's in love?"
Are you listening to me, Lieutenant Hawkeye?
"You'd think the Colonel would have plenty of experience in dealing with irate brothers by now."
When Havoc came back from lunch, he wondered why Hawkeye was picking up scattered papers with a small and warm smile on her face.
The staff look at each other, look at their automail bottle-opener, and prepare to duck.
"So, we're one gunshot from a civil war. If someone from Hakuro's faction fired that shot, for whatever reason ..."
rated:K-L-V | M+F S+S | Mangaverse | post-series | SP: ch 1-108 | DF: ch 105 | Alphonse Elric | Edward Elric | Roy Mustang | mystery | 354th FG HQ | UST | 2010 Best New Voices, Neophyte | Havoc/Rebecca
While the Chief practices his best vengeful face and looks up the recipe for a fake corpse in some freaky alchemy cookbook, Breda and the rest of Team Mustang get to deal with the really annoying bits of this operation.
"And search for free porn." Havoc pointed out.
An alchemical reaction of the most ancient kind: sitting down to eat as though filling the stomach could replace the gap in one's heart.
Mustang's men watched her warily from their desks, all twitchy and afraid to meet her eye. That was good: nervous dogs were easier to train.
Ed looked down at the camera again, and smiled an evil, evil smile.
Thank you General Mustang. At least that creep was good for something. Winry still wasn't convinced he was good for Ed.
"Colonel, if I may ask... what is a cat, to be more precise, a kitten doing in the office?"
"Fuhrer my ass," Edward said. "He's still nothing but a perverted old man."
"Tall girls need not apply," Hughes read aloud, without even the trace of a smirk.
rated:K | M+F S+S | Fullmetal | mid-series | First Place, Het & Non-Het | Green Lion Winner | Riza Hawkeye | Roy Mustang | angst | humor | sweet | Elric Kyoudai | 354th FG HQ | 2004 First Kiss, Non-Het
"Each State Alchemist gets two subordinates; one foot soldier and one sniper," the General droned, organizing the files into a neater state in their folder and walking over to hand them to Mustang.
"Don't look so downcast!" orders Mustang, grinning maniacally. "Our honour is at stake! Don't let me down! Sometimes you just have to take one for the team!"
rated:K-L | M+F S+S | Mangaverse | pre-series | SP: no plot spoilers but stars characters we meet up t | Briggs Bears | Buccaneer | Miles | Olivia Mira Armstrong | Roy Mustang | 354th FG HQ | Rebecca Catalina
"Damn well better be--I bought 'em two days ago and I'm not keeling over yet. Got any dry ones on you?"
Ed opened his mouth, and then closed it. "Visibility is that important to you, huh?" he said.
Besides, no one ever said that tumultuous times had to begin with a fanfare.