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Sushi and Other Unspeakable Things


Edward Elric was in an exceedingly bad mood. He was tired, hungry, had just spent several hours looking at pictures of Alicia and still felt exceedingly sore from the Incident. He wanted to go home, eat, sleep and forget this day had ever happened. Not necessarily in that order.

Havoc didn't seem to realise this though.

"So, Boss."

"Mm-hmm."

"I heard something interesting happened earlier."

"Could be."

"I heard you were involved."

"Really?"

"Well, Boss?"

Apparently Havoc wouldn't shut up until he got some kind of answer. Ed decided to oblige him. "It didn't happen."

"Really? Fury said something different—"

"Fury must have been hallucinating."

"But Farman also—"

"Havoc."

"Yes?"

"I am higher in rank than you. I am in a very bad mood. And I am perfectly capable of transmuting you into a piece of the furniture. Do you catch my drift?"

"Perfectly, Boss. It didn't happen."

"Exactly. I knew I could count on you."

"Although I still want to know where the Colonel got those live eels from."

It took the team two hours to chip Havoc out of the wall.


Some days later...


"GAH! THAT STUPID COLONEL! I'M GOING TO TRANSMUTE HIM INTO A TOILET SEAT!"

"Nii-san, calm down. You know you're not allowed to kill the Colonel."

"...I wouldn't kill him."

"Or maim."

"...you're no fun."

Sigh. "What did he do this time?"

"He... he... he..."

"Yes?"

"He TOOK ME TO DINNER!"

"...and?"

"AT A SUSHI BAR!"