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The Adventures of Roy Mustang: Sex Ed Teacher

chapter 2.

Real things are not always easy things. In the days that followed that one chance
encounter, Ed had made himself very scarce.

Just a kid Roy thought to himself amusedly,
and embarrassed, it's normal
.

But times being what they were, and Ed being what he was,
didn't prevent him from the inevitable mission being assigned to him. He stood
before the Colonel's desk, shuffling his feet, snorting in indignation and drawling
in his most insubordinate tones. Roy was glad to see that Edward was still Edward
after all. The time apart would be good. Perhaps all it had been to Ed was another
mission. Something to satisfy his curiosity and that was fine too. At least
Roy would have that one perfect memory to keep, of Edward flushed, subdued and
lying his arms, and that was enough really. At least, it should be enough. Because
Fullmetal was still a boy when it was said and done, and while Roy wasn't uncomfortable
with what happened, he was at least aware that it wasn't exactly an accepted
norm.

On the second day of Ed's departure, Roy pretended to
be interested in the paperwork on his desk until Riza walked out the door. He
was quite impressed with his own acting skills to say the least. He idly wondered
how far he could take them. Oh First Lieutenant, I just remembered I have
an important engagement elsewhere, and as much as it pains me, I'll simply have
to let this paperwork wait until tomorrow. But don't worry, I'll be diligent
until I get it caught up.
Then of course there would be the sound of a
round loading into a chamber, because try as he might, he could never catch
the sound of her actually drawing her weapon.

He scratched his pen along the edge of one report, following
the jagged black line with his eyes, elbow on desk, chin in palm. Breda walked
in and out of the office then, Roy never bothered to look up to see what he
was doing. He wondered what Ed was doing. Well Ed was on a mission of course...
a rumor as usual. They were all rumors. Fictions that might be facts but were
still fictions until something concrete could be made of them. That was what
Ed was for you see, separating fact from fiction. This is where the real part
came in, wasn't it? Roy sat up a little straighter. His stomach felt a little
tighter. This is what the boy meant, wasn't it? Ed chased after something always
tantalizingly out of reach, always praying that the next lead was real.
His whole life defined to the one point of getting his hands on a legend turned
genuine. The intangible made tangible. Real. Roy let his fingers thread through
his bangs. And had he really made that encounter what Ed needed it to be? Was
he willing to be that much of an anchor? When Ed had woken the morning after,
it was pretty much business as usual. He took all the hot water in the shower,
ate Roy out of house and home, slammed out the front door as if nothing had
happened in the least, and then seemingly run for his life. Roy hadn't seen
hide nor golden hair of the boy until he had Havoc chase him down to inform
him of an impending mission.

I'm reading a lot more into this than I should,
the Colonel mused, realizing he'd just scribbled all over the bottom of a requisition
order, and I'm not doing either one of us any good by doing so.

The Colonel sagged back in his chair and leaned his head
back, one hand moved under the hem of his jacket and scatched. He looked up
to see three pencils still stuck in the ceiling tiles. He still hadn't beaten
Havoc's record of 7 for 5 whole days, mainly because Riza kept interrupting
his attempts at ceiling dart glory. A grin spread on his mouth as the memory
of Ed's few pathetic attempts came to mind. Of Havoc cheering him on, Falman's
worried tones of being caught by the First Lieutenant and Roy wondering why
he was the only one in the office that had to work that day. Ed hadn't even
managed to make one stick. Oh well, couldn't be a prodigy at everything.

Roy closed his eyes, remembering soft moans and half sobs,
clutching metal fingers and shuddering breaths. He gave him self and shake and
a pursing of the lips and opened his eyes to see Breda had come back and was
now staring at him. They both regarded each other silently. Roy let one arched
black eyebrow rise. Breda snorted and started to raise his fingers to his nose,
and then thought better of it.

"Second Lieutenant Breda!" Roy said, spreading his arms,
"Welcome to this man's army. Haven't you heard yet? We are on our way to the
top! The top, and nothing can hold us back. I know what you're saying to yourself;
all that charisma, all that talent, trapped day in day out behind a desk. He
needs to be a forerunner of this military, a go getter, a radiating presence
of reliability and endurance," Roy brought his hands together and laced his
fingers, elbows on his desk.

"You look like a sturdy fellow second lieutenant," Roy
pressed on, "Capable of a great many things, yes a great many things and I for
one am glad...no not just glad; ecstatic that you have, by some miracle, fallen
in with my lot. Under my command no less, how can that be any more perfect for
the either of us I ask you? I don't think it can, that's why I have this rather
delicate assignment for you." Roy smiled easily and put his chin on his laced
fingers.

"I'm not forging your name anymore," Breda said drolly,
"So forget it, I have plans this evening."

Roy let out a resigned sighed. One of the pencils from
the ceiling lost the struggle, tumbled point over eraser and thumped the Colonel
squarely once on top of his head, before hastening a rolling retreat across
the desk and over the side to land at Breda's feet. Breda bent down, picked
it up, and promptly scratched his ear with it.

"Dismissed," Roy snorted.

Breda grinned and strolled out of the office.


The fifth day after FullMetal had departed, Roy decided
he would have a lunch date. This would all be very crafty on his part because
his paperwork from the second day had mysteriously found its way into the bottom
of an unused filing cabinet, and First Lieutenant Hawkeye had helpfully retrieved
it for him. So now it was once again blocking any attempt at doodling on his
desk blotter.

By the eighth day, all the old paperwork had somehow managed
to get done in time for the new paperwork to take its place. A rubber band war
escalated into a free for all and everyone got quiet when Hawkeye blundered
into the cross fire and got hit on the nose.

The ninth day was orderly and respectful and full of groveling
to make up for the eighth day.

On the thirteenth day, a telegram was passed into the
Colonel's hands. It was short and to the point.

Didn't pan out. Next train back to Central tonight.
Report in the morning.

E.

Roy fingered the edge of the stiff paper, folded it once
and set it alight in the ashtray on top of his desk with a soft snap.

Once again, it hadn't been real.


The next morning saw both of the Elrics briefly waylaid
as they came into the office by Havoc and Breda cheerfully informing them about
their superior rubber band snapping skills. Al stayed behind to get some pointers
but Ed came slowly over to Roy's desk, hands in his pockets, eyes slowly rising
to meet Roy's own.

"I got your telegram," Roy said before Ed had a chance
to speak, "Was there anything noteworthy at all?"

Ed shrugged, eyes straying off to the window behind Roy's
desk. "Not really, just some self important narrow minded little men who thought
they were onto world domination." Ed dropped his eyes to Roy's desk, "You know,
the usual."

"I see," Roy said, "And as usual you cleaned up after
them, correct?"

"As usual," Ed confirmed, lifting his eyes again and meeting
Roy's briefly.

"If it's any consolation, I have an agent in the field
right now, tracking down some information that might prove interesting to us
both, I'll keep you informed." Roy laid a hand on his desk, tapped with his
thumb. "Will you have your written report done by weeks end?" He added.

"Of course," Ed said, "Now that we're back here I can
borrow Lieutenant Hawkeye's typewriter."

"Oh good," Roy said, "I'll be able to read it this time."

Ed attempted an angry snort, but it just wasn't in him.
He turned his head slightly when he heard Al's tinny laughter bubble up from
the back of the room.

"Do you want to come over tonight?" Roy's voice asked,
low and even.

Golden eyes snapped back to his dark ones.

"Yes," came the soft reply.


The Colonel invited him over, should he bring flowers?
Ed rebraided his hair for the third time, behind him Al snorted.

"Should I do it?" Al asked, "What was wrong with it before
you unbraided it in the first place?"

"Nothing! Everything! I don't know, it bothered me!" Ed
stomped past his brother and snatched his short black jacket off the bed.

"Well it seems like an awful lot of fuss for a night at
the library," Al said, taking a loud clanking seat at the table, "You haven't
even finished the books you brought back before we left and you want more. You're
always like this you know, you never want to finish what you start. Honestly,
when you go to get my body back? Make sure you get all the pieces, alright?"

Ed gaped and stomped past his brother, slapping the black
jacket on the back of a helmeted head making a low reverb sound. When he got
to the door he still hadn't thought of a good witty comeback, but being who
he was, he had to say something.

"Oh yeah?!" He yelled, yanking the door open.

"Yeah!" Al retaliated, adjusting his helmet.

"Fine! Anything else?!" Ed said, hovering on the threshold.

"No!" Al said, slamming open a book.

"Don't wait up!" Ed bellowed stepping out the door.

"Don't worry I won't!" Al shouted, savaging a page.

"Good!" Ed screeched and slammed the door.

"Thank goodness he finally left," Al muttered and turned
to his book.

Ed thundered down the walk, shrugging on his jacket. He
gave himself the quick checklist pat down. Watch, check. Spare gloves, check.
Dorm key, check. Pocket money, check. Sanity? That was in question.

What am I doing? I'm going over to the Colonel's is
what I'm doing. I'm just going over there. Nothing has to happen. He invited
me. Would have been rude to say no, he's the Colonel.

Ed and manners were bitter rivals at best, but somewhere
in his foggy manners recollection it was usually a nice gesture for a guest
to bring some sort of gift. Ok not a gift, a show of appreciation. He nixed
his earlier flower idea. Really what would the Colonel do with flowers, other
than snicker perhaps and make fun of him for it, so that was right out. He considered
wine, but how would he get his hands on it? No one would sell it to him no matter
how persistent he was or how hard he tried to shove his pocket watch up their
nose. The one and only time he'd tried to alchemize wine, he was told it tasted
like the dregs of a rain barrel, and that he'd better get a lawyer because if
anyone got sick he'd be sued. So that was right out.

Chocolate? Well that was a thought. He loved chocolate,
but wouldn't it be rude to bring a box of chocolate and then eat it? His feet
took him down the path toward the bus stop and once there he leaned against
the bus shelter, hands in pockets.

So what else was there? A book! Of course, he'd stop and
get a book. There was a book seller on the block over from the Colonel's apartment,
and a book was nice neutral house thing. Not a gift. An invite thing. Yeah,
a book. That's what he'd do.

Only, what did the Colonel read? His mind skipped back
to a time when he had been summoned out of the office and Ed had taken the opportunity
to shamelessly rifle though the things on his desk. An odd magazine had fallen
out of one of the books he'd picked up and Ed remembered suddenly with reddening
cheeks just what it was that the Colonel read.

Ok, chocolate it was.

Roy straightened his collar and cuffs as he headed to
answer the knock at his front door. He opened it, blinked once and stepped back.
Ed strode in like he owned the place, shoved a half eaten box of chocolate at
Roy, and licked his lips.

"Sorry I'm late, stopped to get you... I mean get that,"
Ed said, waving at the box, "Hope you don't mind I had a few, just to make sure
they were ok and all, what's for dinner?"

Roy worked his jaw slowly, then shut the door and carried
the ravaged chocolate box to the coffee table. He watched Ed shrug off his jacket
and throw it at the couch, then look at him expectantly.

"Well hello there Edward, so nice of you to come," Roy
said, setting a smile on his face, "Thank you for the chocolates or what's left
of them. I'm adept at making ham sandwiches if you like, I wasn't aware I had
to feed you."

"Ham sandwiches!" Ed grinned, "You're on!" and headed
for the kitchen.

"Is your automail leg hollow?" Roy asked as the fourth
sandwich he'd placed in front of Ed was inhaled.

Ed gave him a funny look.

Roy shrugged.

"I just wonder where you put it all," Roy said, tying
the end of the bread sack closed.

"Don't close that yet," Ed said, "Got any pickles?"

"No," Roy said firmly as he got up and returned the bread
to the box on the counter.

Ed wet his finger and used it to pick up the crumbs left
on his plate. He stuck his finger in his mouth and caught Roy staring at him.

"What?" The younger alchemist said, "I'm still growing
you know."

"Into what, I'm not sure," The Colonel sighed.

"And here I brought over a house thing," Ed groused, "I
thought I'd get something out of it besides sandwiches. The next time you want
me to come over, cook something. It's so rude to invite someone over and not
have anything to eat," Ed snorted and pushed the plate at Roy.

Roy looked at the plate and then at the teen giving him
a bland stare.

"Well you certainly seem to have recovered quickly," Roy
said, picking the plate up and heading for the sink.

"Recovered?" Ed said, "What do you mean? I didn't get
hurt this time around, I'm fine."

"I didn't mean physically," Roy said, "You were very quiet
in the office, even Breda noticed. Breda." Roy repeated for emphasis.

"Oh that," Ed said, shrugged and looked away, "I was just
tired is all, it was a long trip and we got in late and I didn't get to sleep
right away and that's all that was, nothing to it."

Roy walked back over to the table and stopped by Ed's
chair. When Ed finally looked up at him he gripped the teen by the arm and pulled
him to his feet. Ed's hair was an irresistible draw. He threaded fingers through
the heavy golden bangs, pushing them back and leaned down slowly, giving Ed
time to make a choice.

Ed's face tilted up, eyes went half shuttered, lips parted.
Ed was indeed a prodigy for he learned how to lure Roy in quickly enough, and
he made delicious sounds when he was kissed.

It didn't take long for the clothes shedding procession
to make its way down to the bedroom and inside. Once there, Roy shoved Ed back
onto the bed and finally wiggled him out of his form fitting leather pants.
The blush was still evident on the boys cheeks and neck and spread to his chest,
but the hesitation from the first time was gone. He let Roy bare him in an almost
languid fashion and seemed pleased when Roy took a moment to admire what he'd
uncovered on his bed. Roy started to lean over him but an automail hand planted
itself firmly on his chest.

"Uh uh," Ed said, then sucked in his lower lip for a moment
before continuing, "Your clothes off this time. All of them."

"Giving me orders Full...Edward?" Roy chuckled, catching
himself from using the 'work' name.

"Maybe?" Ed said, "More like a request with emphasis?"
Ed's flesh foot joined his automail hand in holding the older alchemist off.

"Well when you put it like that, how can I refuse?" Roy
said, allowing Ed to fend him off. He stood back and began to unbutton his shirt.
Ed sat up on his elbows, then pushed himself up onto his butt. Roy untucked
his shirt and shrugged it off, throwing it over the valet at the end of the
bed. Next he sat down right next to Ed and worked off his boots and socks. Then
he stood back up and undid his belt and dropped it over the valet. His slacks
came off next and finally his briefs. Ed found the crown molding around the
ceiling highly interesting at about that time, and Roy shook his head.

"You asked me to get naked, the least you could do is
look at me," he snorted, hands on hips.

"I'm getting to it," Ed said, voice trying to be his normal
flippant self, but holding an edge of uncertainty. His eyes left the crown molding
and lowered to Roy's face, then his neck. His chest. His face again, his chest.
His face.

"Oh for the love of....I have the same equipment you do,"
Roy stated and advanced on the boy.

"Yeah ok, don't get huffy!" Ed squeaked and started scooting
back, but Roy climbed up over him and Ed flopped onto his back, large amber
eyes meeting amused dark ones. Roy settled on his knees and caught the end of
Ed's braid, lying to the side of his head and neatly plucked the tie from it.
He unplaited it slowly, working his fingers into it and the splaying the hair
out.

"What was that for?" Ed asked in a strained manner, seemingly
still adjusting to having a naked Flame Alchemist straddling his hips.

"I wanted to see it down," Roy said, "I think I like it
down." Roy tilted his head. "You'll have to wear it down sometime."

For some reason this seemed to relax Ed.

"What? It gets in my eyes and it gets tangled and Al's
no good at picking out knots because the leather on his gloves snags and my
automail snags and it gets hot." Ed snorted softly.

"But I like it," Roy insisted.

"Maybe on days that aren't windy," Ed conceded.

Roy smiled and slowly lowered himself over Ed, leaning
down to once again claim that smart assed little mouth and make it his. Ed started
to raise his hands, but then didn't seem to know what to do with them, so he
dropped them back to the bed to abuse the comforter. Roy dragged his mouth away
from Ed's lips, down along his jaw, his neck, over his flesh shoulder, and across
his collar bone to his chest. He licked at the nipple there, earning a gasp
tossed into the groans the kisses had already earned him. He then rested his
forehead on the boy's chest. Very slowly a hand raised, a flesh hand, and touched
the back of Roy's head. Fingers moved slowly, jerkily, in small circles against
his nape. Roy closed his eyes for the briefest of time and let Ed's fingers
lull him.

He's back in my bed. What shall I do with him?

Stupid question, of course I know what I should do
with him.

But what should he do with me?

Ed's voice, so unexpected in the stillness of the moment,
brought Roy out of his musings.

"So, what are you going to show me today teach?" Ed gave
Roy a wavy smile when the man lifted his head to look at him.

"Ah, well, glad you asked...let's get you in position."
Roy moved off of Ed and began directing the boy to scoot up into the pillows.
Ed complied with wiggles and grunts, laid back into the pillows at the head
of the bed and gave Roy a quizzical look. Roy smiled at him and dropped his
hands to Ed's thighs. The boy's body was like the boy's temperament. Warm and
cool, hard and soft. Middle ground was a hard thing for Edward Elric. His eyes
had dropped to Roy's hands on his thighs and they watched as Roy moved them
down to his knees, then they widened as Roy pushed his knees apart.

"What are we doing?" Ed asked, eyes flicking up to Roy's
face, blond bangs half obscuring them.

"I'm going to show you," Roy said, spreading Ed's legs
to a point where they were wide, but not uncomfortably so. "There are more uses
to a mouth than just flinging insults at your superior. Or eating, in your case."
Roy lowered himself to lie between Ed's legs and the teen gaped at him.

"Wait a minute," Ed started, but Roy reached out with
two fingers and touched him, lower than he had before, under his balls. Ed jerked
in surprise and slammed his head against the headboard with a resounding crack.

Roy winced and Ed half wailed, hand flying to the back
of his head. The Colonel sat up on his knees making a shushing sound and drew
Ed's head against his chest, helping him rub the smarting spot and also his
back.

It was such a strange position: Ed, legs splayed with
the Colonel between them, his cheek against the Colonel's chest.

"That hurt!" Ed accused.

"Well it's your own fault for being so spastic," Roy said
calmly, still stroking the back of his head, "all I did was touch you."

"You touched me...where you haven't touched me before!
Give me some warning at least." Ed's voice was muffled against his chest, and
Roy grinned. Roy sat the boy back and shook his head.

"I'm supposed to be touching you, we're having sex," he
said with barely contained mirth.

"I know that," Ed spat, and shifted all around in the
pillows.

"Here," Roy tried to help, "Put one behind your head."
And he stuffed a pillow behind Ed's head. "Comfortable?"

"No," Ed said, "It's making me lean forward and I'll get
a crick in my neck."

"Then take it down," Roy snorted and scooted back and
dropped back to his stomach. "Look, do you want to do this or what?"

"Yes!" Ed snapped yanking the pillow from behind his head.
"You're so pushy," he groused.

Roy let his forehead touch the bed between Ed's legs and
struggled to keep from laughing. Why had he thought that this would be anything
remotely resembling a passionate encounter?

"You're laughing at me," Ed growled from somewhere above
his head.

Roy picked his head up, struggled to maintain his features
and made a smacking sound with his lips before speaking.

"No, I'm not, I'm just relieved that you seem to be taking
this all in stride is all, shall we continue?" He raised an eyebrow at the blond.

"Fine," Ed said and settled back, lips threatening to
pout.

And it was all so absurdly comfortable and adorable and
it had never been like this with anyone. Roy just wanted to thank any
god who would listen that Ed was Ed.

Why was I even worried about this to begin with? It's
just Ed, it will always be Ed. Nothing will ever change him. Not me, not this,
not the world. He'll go right on being Ed until the day I die and I'm glad.
Glad! Because if I can just have this in my life when I need it, nothing will
ever be wrong.

Roy scooted forward. "I'm going to touch you," he warned
the boy, and he did so then, cupping Ed's balls, listening with satisfaction
to the intake of breath and the shifting of ass as he pressed them up and rubbed
them generously. Ed's cock sprang to attention in moments. That was flattery,
plain and simple. He put the tip of his nose on Ed's cock and glanced up at
him when he heard the boy give a half straggled sound.

Ed's eyes were saucers. Roy arched an eyebrow and Ed's
eyes darted to his.

"Something wrong?" Roy asked.

Ed seemed stricken silent, so keeping his eyes on the
boy's face Roy leaned his head back down, extended his tongue and gave a slow,
warm, wet sweep of Ed's cock, from base to tip. Ed's eyebrows took on a life
of their own, his heels danced in the sheets and he made a half throaty, breathless
sound that made Roy's own cock stir. The look he gave Roy was one of total astonishment.
Roy grinned, turned his head slightly, and nipped at one tender inner thigh
in reach. His reward was to be clunked soundly on the back of the head by an
automail leg, which was accompanied by a shrilly declaration; "You bit me!"

Now it was Roy's turn to rub is head. He gave Ed an aggravated
look and snorted.

"You didn't find that the least bit arousing?" Roy asked.

"What's so arousing about getting bit?" Ed reached down
to rub the offended place on his inner thigh.

"You really are a virgin, and I don't mean just because
you haven't had sex," Roy growled.

"That's a really mean thing to say," Ed hissed, "That's
like me believing all those Colonel Slut rumors."

Roy clamped his mouth shut and started to push up on his
hands but Ed made a startled sound and reached out to him, hand stopping just
short of Roy's face.

"No! I mean, what I've heard is this is suppose to feel
good, and I mean it does, when you do what you were doing it does! But I'm not
use to it and I wasn't expecting you to bite me and I've had enough of that,
you know. Being bitten, beaten, stabbed, torn apart...." Ed's eyes widened and
he clamped his own mouth shut, dropping his eyes.

You have done what no one else has ever done, Edward
Elric. You have humbled me in my own bed. You make me want you, not like the
way that sounds but really want you. Am I ever going to be able to let
you out of my sight after this? You can't do this to me Edward Elric, it's not
fair.

Roy did move up to his hands and Ed made a defeated sound
that turned to a muffled surprised sound that melted into a soft half moan when
the Colonel took his lips. Roy drew back after a moment, letting his lips stay
pressed to Ed's.

"No biting," he said quietly.

"Ok," Ed answered quietly back.

Don't give me so much. I know you don't give anything
of yourself to anyone, so why me?

So unfair Edward.

Roy's lips left the boy's and moved down his chest to
his stomach, where he opened his mouth over the head of the boy's erection and
drew it in, tongue circling it once, probing the slit at the top, wiping away
pre-cum and then moving downward, pressing the boy to the roof of his mouth
and sucking. The accompanying sound Ed made was heaven.

He moved in slow bobs, his hands slid up Ed's thighs and
pressed them down. Ed's hand found the back of his neck. Fingers scrabbled there
desperately for a moment before tangling in short black hair. He heard things
from the boy he'd never heard before, pleas and cries and appeals to a higher
being he no longer believed in, and it was real and it was right and it was
good. It would feel good.

You have no idea, that even in this questionable act,
you make me a better man. Funny how irony works, there are others that would
damn me for this, but you are so far above what passes for humanity.

Edward, I hope you never come down.

Ed came with a cry and a hard jerk, throbbing in Roy's
mouth, sobbing and gasping for air. Roy continued to move on him for a few moments
afterward, until he was sure Ed was thoroughly spent.

He moved up, pulled the small shaking body to his own,
maneuvered themselves around until he could get Ed settled comfortably and covered
him in the comforter. He leaned down to kiss him and the still panting, but
more lucid Ed abruptly turned his head to the side.

"What is it?" Roy asked concerned.

"Maybe you should gargle or something," Ed said, risking
a glance at Roy's face.

Well, Roy thought wryly, he and his left hand could use
some alone time in the bathroom anyway.