sky dark

The Adventures of Roy Mustang: Sex Ed Teacher

chapter 5.

Ed and Al had always whispered together in the dark. It was some of Ed's earliest
and fondest memories. Secrets and discoveries and all things in general they
had seen that day, were all the more magical when retold in the dark.

Then the fears, the sadness, the nightmares... they too
were shared in the dark. Instead of being frightening, the dark had been like
a most comforting blanket, hiding their tears from the world outside. It was
easy to lay a soul bare in the dark. In the dark it was easy to let go of tears.

"Brother," Al's voice came from across the room, "We've
been in East City for a while now," Al tried not to move very much at night
so the creaks and clinks of his armor wouldn't keep Ed awake.

"Yeah, longer than usual," Ed answered immediately, Al's
creaks and clinks keeping him awake wouldn't matter, on most nights the creaks
and clinks of his own thoughts did that for him.

"I was just wondering if you thought we were going to
get any more leads," Al mused aloud, "and maybe that's why we are waiting around."

Ed's stomach clenched. The one lead he thought the Colonel
was going to give him had turned out to be nothing more than a rumor that went
nowhere, and with the latest going on in the office, the word 'rumor' was the
last thing he wanted to hear. So why was he hanging around? Ed already knew
that answer and his heart sank.

He was the worst kind of selfish bastard, he really was.

And just when he didn't think he could sink any lower.

"You know I'm really happy that we can take a break like
this sometimes," Al said, "its nice getting to see everyone and getting to know
them better."

Then Al chuckled.

"And you've gotten to know the Colonel a lot better."

It was meant as a joke. Al was giving his approval, even
if he was skeptical and confused.

Why did Al ever get stuck with me?

"Brother?" Al asked, the sound of his helmet only partially
muffled by the pillow when he turned his head.

"We're going to Central," Ed said, "I'll tell that bastard
Colonel in the morning. We're at a dead end here, if something comes his way
he can contact us there. Our best bet right now is the Central Library and the
resources that Hughes has in the information department."

"Oh," Al said, "Well it will be nice to see the Lieutenant
Colonel again and Mrs. Hughes and Elysia. We haven't seen them in a while and
we can go to that Drachman restaurant you like," Al continued, "Oh and maybe
we can go see a moving picture show." Al loved to go to the theatre, he loved
to sit in the very back and every time they went, Ed could almost imagine seeing
Al's lips moving as each line card was flashed on the screen.

"Oh yeah," Ed said, "We'll definitely do that, but more
importantly we're going to find a lead, I just know there is something we've
overlooked. We'll definitely find something. I know, we can talk to Scheizka
while we're there too."

"Oh yeah," Al said, "It will be great to see her. This
sounds great, I'm glad we're going, Brother."

Ed rolled over, his back to Al's side of the room and
he wiped his face with the corner of his blanket.

"Yeah me too, so we got a lot to do tomorrow, get some
sleep," he said.

"Right!" Al confirmed and went back to being motionless
and silent.

It wouldn't have mattered if Al had gotten up and tap
danced in the middle of the room for the rest of the night, because the hammering
of Ed's heart kept him awake anyway.

Roy looked up when he heard Havoc cheerfully greet FullMetal
and his brother as they walked into the office. Ed nodded and headed straight
for the big desk; Al lingered behind and asked Havoc if he could recommend any
good moving picture shows.

"Good morning FullMetal," Roy said when the boy stopped
at the edge of his desk, "I see you're about early today, what's the occasion?"

Ed let one gloved finger trail across the edge of Roy's
desk and then bump against a silver pen lying like a blockade at the wheels
of a small bronze toy cannon.

"Colonel," he said, "I've decided we need to go spend
some time in Central, the resources there are much better than those here in
East City and we're just stalling here, so I'm requesting permission to report
there to Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and indulge in some research."

Roy sat back in his chair, scooted back just enough to
cross his legs.

"That seems like an excellent idea," he said and Ed's
eyes snapped up to him. "You do seem to be just turning your wheels hanging
around here, and you'll be easy enough to track down when something does come
in. Very well, permission granted. As a matter of fact, while you're there I
have some things you can check into for me as well."

Ed worked his jaw.

That was awfully easy, almost like he wants to get
rid of me.

The Colonel stood and Ed looked up at him.

"Come with me," Roy said, "There are a few files I want
you to convey personally to Hughes, proprietary sort of things that I know I
can trust you with."

Roy strode around the desk and headed for the door. Ed
watched him for a moment, then trotted after him.

"Be right back Al," he said and followed the Colonel into
the hall.

They went down the hall to the file room. This place again.
Ed's mind strayed back to a mere few weeks or so ago when a group of concerned
fellow military personnel had huddled here and told him that his lover had VD.

Ed still couldn't believe he fell for it.

Roy held the door open for him, so he walked in with Roy
following behind him, pulling the door shut.

Ed felt himself smile. So the Colonel wanted a farewell
grope. That wasn't out of the question. After all, they were boyfriends and
Ed could hardly deny his boyfriend one last feel up for who knows how long...
and some kisses, yes he could certainly do that. Only he couldn't get hard this
time, getting hard at the office was embarrassing and happening far too often
for his liking. So the Colonel could kiss him on his face, but not behind his
ear or on his neck, and the Colonel could feel up his butt a little, but not
a lot, and he couldn't touch his stomach. That would be bad. So yes, some kissing
and groping but no dry humping at all. Although, he sort of like dry humping...
but no. No rubbing against the Colonel. Hard-ons were bad when they weren't
in a bed with a naked Colonel over him. Ok, Roy could start kissing him now.

"Ed, I have to start dating," Roy said.

Ed had tilted his face up in anticipation of that very
first kiss he knew would get out of hand and make him hard anyway, but he'd
already decided to forgive the Colonel for it, because the Colonel needed that
sort of thing and Ed was happy he was the supplier of his needs.

Ed didn't expect his heart to bottom out so hard.

"It's not like that," Roy rushed to continue, "Listen
to me ok, just listen to me first." Roy took him by his shoulders and Ed wondered
what had played across his face to make Roy have such a look on his own.

Roy's hands began working in gentle circles on the boy's

"I know I don't have to tell you what happened a few weeks
ago wasn't a good thing and how damn lucky we were," The Colonel said in even
tones, his dark eyes trying desperately to hold and comfort golden ones. "People
get suspicious, they talk, rumors start. This is going to sound insane, but
I'm glad it was about me and something to do with why I was avoiding
women and not in relation to you. Do you understand, Ed? I know you do."

Ed nodded, lips shut.

"So we have to take measures, because I want to keep you
safe. I know how important this position as a state alchemist is to your goals
and I, for one, do not want to be the cause of you losing any chance of restoring
Al and yourself. I'm an adult and so I'm responsible for my own actions, but
endangering you is just something I can't bear, and so, I'm going to start dating
again." Roy's eyes kept searching Ed's, trying to force understanding directly
into the boy's brain.

You're going to start dating again because you want
to keep me safe from myself? That's adult logic?

"You seem to be taking this well," Roy said.

I'm a totally selfish bastard that for the sake of
my hormones has confined my brother to spending more time as a living doll than
he should and now you're dumping me by trying to make it sound like you're doing
me a favor.

"Everything you're saying is making total sense," the
boy said, and unbeknownst to the Colonel, it was the most perfect lie ever told.

Roy smiled and Ed's heart skipped a beat.

After all, I have an undeniable track record of being
the world's biggest fuck-up. Look at my life time of accomplishments. I consign
my brother to total sensory depravation during the most crucial years of his
life right when he should be feeling the most. I get us involved with
all manners of dangerous people, including (but not limited to) not one, but
two religious zealots out to kill us. I have compromised the only person
outside of our own mother who has sought to help and protect us like we were
their own, and to top it all off I complain about having to reciprocate sexual
favors. Yes, I realized what a total ass I was the next morning and I wanted
to make that up to you, but you were already late for work and then all that
other stuff got started and so I haven't really had a real chance to make that
up, but I wanted to. I wanted to tell you, but now what is the point? There
isn't a point. No wait, there is one. Edward Elric, you always get exactly what
you deserve.

Roy kissed his forehead soundly.

"I knew you'd understand, that's what separates the men
from the boys, Ed," and Roy gave his shoulders a squeeze, "knowing what has
to be done."

You bastard Colonel, I think I'm in love with you.
But that's alright, you're not the only one who can do what has to be done.

"Oh sure," the boy grinned one of his infamous grins,
"I wouldn't want your reputation to take any more of a beating than it already
has, since we both know you totally didn't deserve it. Date all you want while
we're in Central, that's fine."

Roy released his shoulders and turned to a filing cabinet
and pulled out a few files and gave them to Ed.

"Here, just mail them back when you get to Central, oh
and..." Roy took his shoulders again, pulled Ed against his body and kissed
him, "This is what will be waiting for you when you get back."

Ed opened his mouth and closed his eyes and kissed the
man he loved goodbye. Then he went out the door to retrieve his brother and
leave on the next train out.

Al watched Ed slouch against the window of the passenger
car. Except for a few mumbled responses to direct questions, he hadn't said
anything for the last half hour. Al had been meaning to save the buns he had
hidden in his armor for later, but Ed needed cheering up and something to take
his mind off his boyfriend. Al still did a little mental flinch whenever he
associated the Colonel and the word 'boyfriend', but he was supportive of his
big brother and if that is what Ed wanted, then that was fine with Al. Ed was
always sacrificing so much of himself for others' happiness, it was time he
got a little back of his own.

Al looked around, but they had the train car almost to
themselves and the other passenger, ironically a military man, was sleeping
with his chin pressed to his chest. So, Al undid the leather straps on the right
side of his chest plate and swung it open. The creak attracted Ed's attention
and Al pulled out an oil-stained paper bag, shut his chest plate and redid the

"Look Ed," Al said holding up the bag, "I got you some
buns at the station when you were buying the tickets. I got a mix of all different
kinds because I know you like that. I was going to save them for later, but
you might as well eat them now."

Al waved the bag enticingly at his sulking sibling.

"There is a dozen, I won't even say anything if you eat
them all in one sitting," Al offered magnanimously.

Ed smiled a smile that was both sad and sweet and he reached
out to take the bag.

"You're too good to me Al," he said, "thanks."

"Oh sure, you know I thought you might be hypoglycemic.
That's something I read about a few days ago. It can make people sort of manic
when they are hungry. You know, nasty, snappish, head achey, that sort of thing.
But after observing you for a while to test my theory, I realized that's just
the way you are, hungry or not." Al plowed ahead, "I had a real opportunity
to study the people we work with these last couple of months, and they are all
amazing in their own individual ways. But you know, and call me crazy, I think
the Colonel looked a little sad when you told him we were leaving, and that's
kinda sweet."

Al looked at his brother who had a bun hanging out of
his mouth, and encouraged, he continued.

"The Colonel has the most telling eyes, he tries to keep
them guarded all the time, but it just doesn't seem to work when he looks at
you. It's almost like he's seeing you for the first time all over again, and
it's like this look of wonder. I know that must sound like romantic mush to
you since you don't go for public displays of affection, but I still think it's
kind of sweet, and I also think he's kind of surprised too, like he's never
felt like that before."

The bun still hadn't made it past Ed's lips and to his

Al please, Al I love you, Al shut up.

Al hummed and put his hands on his knees and looked out
the window.

"I really like train rides," Al said, "it gives you time
to think."

Ed closed his eyes.

Roy dove into the paperwork on his desk, relaxed and relieved,
replaying Ed's grin over and over again in his mind.

Of course he would understand. He's brilliant. He sees
the potential danger of the situation if we don't take some sort of action.
So I'll date, maybe I'll kiss a little. It won't mean anything. It won't get
very far, but appearances will be maintained and he'll be safe.

He looked up at Havoc who was doing a good job of sleeping
with his eyes open.

"Lieutenant Havoc," he barked.

Havoc jerked and saluted to the empty chair opposite him,
then blinked and turned to look at the Colonel.

"Penelope's number, do you still have it?" Roy asked.

Havoc looked at him for the longest moment, then he nodded
very slowly.

Roy snapped his fingers causing everyone in the office
(except Riza) to jump.

"Let's have it," he said.

Havoc finally got up and dragged his way to the big desk
slowly, with all the enthusiasm of a man walking to the gallows. He fished the
well folded slip of paper out of his wallet and handed it to the Colonel.

"It's good to have you back," Havoc said dryly.

"Thank you," Roy's smirk sliced its way out, "it's good
to be back."

"I won't hear of it!" Hughes voice was so loud that people
walking through two offices over paused to listen, "You aren't coming here for
the first time in month and staying in the dorms, you'll stay with us!" Hughes
grinned down and Ed blanched.

"No really, that's way too generous," Ed stammered.

"I insist! Oh it will be great, Gracia will be happy to
see you, Elysia will be ecstatic, speaking of which..." Hughes shoved his hand
deep into his trouser pocket, and Ed turned to flee but bumped into Al instead
and banged his nose, "Look at these!"

Ed looked up at Al, but knew when he was beaten. He politely
rifled through the small stack of photos Hughes eagerly shoved into his hands.

"I know you haven't seen these before," Hughes gushed,
"In fact I think I have a whole album at home you haven't seen! We can go over
them at dinner. Isn't she a delight? Doesn't see just inspire the most joy?
I particularly like her expression in this one, she just looks like she's saying
'Let my angelic cuteness take all your troubles and wing them away!'" Hughes
laughed, slapped Ed's shoulder and passed the pictures Ed was finished with
into Al's large hands.

"These are really nice Lieutenant," Al said, "You're getting
very good with a camera."

Al is always so nice, no matter how annoying the person.
Must be why he gets along with me so well.

"I've got an empty desk you boys can use while you're
researching, I had it moved into Scheizka's office," Hughes said, calmer now
that his daughters photographic image had been contemplated, "I don't have to
tell you that you have full access to just about anything here."

"Ah," Ed said, "I've been wanting to talk again with Scheizka,
go over a few things I never got to ask her the last time around."

"At your service," Hughes said, "Ah, it's good to have
you guys back for a while, I'm sure Roy was getting on your nerves. I'm going
to go call Gracia with the good news. Go familiarize yourself with the office
and I'll come and get you when it's time to go, this is going to be great!"

Al followed Ed out of Hughes' office and into one of the
smaller side offices where a young woman looked up and smiled.

"It's good to see you both again," Scheizka grinned, "It's
going to be nice to have company that isn't so photographically inclined."

Al laughed, Ed smiled and Scheizka got up and indicated
an empty desk on the opposite side of her tiny work space.

"Here's the desk the Lieutenant Colonel had brought in,
I hope it's ok," she smiled.

"It's great, thanks. Later on, if you're not busy, I'd
like to get together," Ed said, "there are a few things I wanted to go over
with you about some of the notes you wrote out for us from Tim Marcho's book."

"Certainly," she smiled, "I'll be glad to go over them
with you."

Al shifted around and said, "Did you ever read any books
in the library by someone named Donnel Hayes?"

Scheizka tilted her head, squinted her eyes, then opened
them wide.

"Alphonse," she said, "those types of books weren't in
the main library, those types of books were bought in drug stores and left on
break room tables and how old are you anyway?"

"Ah!" Al waved his hands, "Nevermind then."

Ed had colored up.

"Al!" he complained.

Ed had been gone for three whole days and Roy had yet
to make a phone call. That one little display in the office with Havoc wouldn't
be enough, he realized, if he didn't produce the goods. So, he picked up the
phone and began dialing and blinked in surprise when Scheizka answered on the
other end.

"Uh," Roy said, "Is the Lieutenant Colonel in?" he asked.

Moments later Hughes assaulted his ear drums.

"Roy! Good of you to call! Checking up on the boys? They're
doing just great! Did you get that latest picture of Elysia I sent? The one
of her at the zoo? The animals all just loved her! "

"Hughes!" Roy barked to get a word in edge wise.

"Oh pooh," Hughes sniffed, "right to business with you.
So what is it this time? No I don't have any new leads on 'Scar'." Hughes tucked
the phone against his shoulder and folded his arms, prepared to play 'twenty
uninteresting questions pertaining to work' with Roy.

"So Ed and Al are ok?" Roy asked, "They are getting the
information they want?"

"Oh they're peachy," Hughes said, studying his nails,
"and I tell you it's the cutest thing, Ed follows Scheizka around like a puppy,
it's plainly adorable. I'll try to get you a picture if you want, it's like
he's absolutely besotted with her and really what better match is there? Ed
and a walking library, what could be more perfect?" Hughes dropped his voice
to a stage whisper, "We got an office pool going on now, the current lead is
she's going to get his cherry. You in?"

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a
long moment.

"No," Roy said finally, "No, I think I'll pass."

The Flame Alchemist took up residence on the couch in
his living room that night, a magazine lay open on his chest. He was barefoot,
wearing an untucked button down shirt and a pair of unbelted slacks. It was
foolish to be waiting for a knock that wasn't going to come. His rational mind
knew that Ed was in Central, and even if Ed had jumped on the train the moment
he hung up the phone with Hughes, it would still be two days before he saw him.

Roy rested his forearm across his forehead. This was ridiculous.
Of course Ed would be attracted to someone of a similar intellect, why shouldn't
he be? It was right and natural and a girl. It was perfect.

Roy knew that what he and Ed shared was more on a lust
level. Oh sure Roy could engage him, Roy was witty, Roy could out banter him
and tease him because Roy had the experience to do so. But on that lofty intellectual
level, on that level that shone in Ed's eyes when he began to discuss an array,
or the way matter flowed, or the equivalence needs for just a certain transmutation,
Roy fell flat. Sure he knew the basics and sure he knew what he needed to know
to make his brand of alchemy all it could be, but as far as being an innovator
in the field, he fell terribly short. That sort of thing was best left to the
forward thinkers, the logistically minded self starters who were of the same
ilk that brought about the science in the first place.

People like Ed, who sometimes for his short stature, stood
taller than any alchemist on the planet.

People like that were untouchable.

Alphonse Elric, over the last four years, had not slept
a wink. His mind turned to devising better and better ways of coping with his
massive amounts of cerebral time denied by the average person. He read with
a fierce abandon that could only be matched by the way he observed his surroundings.
Given the long night hours all to himself in which to think, he often let his
mind wander into the realms of speculation rather than rational logic.

It was, in effect, a coping mechanism and Alphonse Elric
knew all about coping mechanisms. His most avid example was of course his own
elder brother, who at this very moment was curled in a tight ball on the bed
opposite his own, twisting the blanket in his automail fingers and moving his
lips in his sleep. Ed coped with life in all the ways everyone else did in pretty
much the everyday way. He complained, he rationalized, he justified, and he
sulked. But to those chosen few, and Alphonse counted himself to be one of the
lucky number, he agonized, he prophesized, he moralized and he hoped.

Lately he had hoped a bit harder than before. Alphonse
found himself making the mental connection to his brother's new found and hard
won sense of self worth, with that of the timely and handy intervention of a
certain military Colonel. Roy Mustang was by far not who he would have picked
to fill all the places in his brother that he could not himself fill, but far
be it for him to deny the man his due. Ed positively glowed. His spirits had
been high, his eyes had been clear, his grins had been easy and his smiles had
been sincere. It wasn't hard to see that despite all reservations, the Colonel
has been good for him, and that was more that any devoted little brother
could hope for.

But the longer they were in Central, the more Al started
to see that some of the old shadows were back to haunt Ed's eyes. Oh he still
smiled, but not as sincerely, and he even laughed, but it seemed more like an
obligation. He was full of reassurances for Al and 100 percent positive they
would turn up some lead one day very soon and off they would go again, the two
of them against the world. He did it with a determination so hot that it was
hard not to be swept along in the tide of Ed's intentions, no matter how insane
they sometime might be. If Al hadn't been the master observer he was, he would
have missed the lines at the corner of his brother's mouth, the stiffing of
his back at the mention of the Colonel's name, or the way he would turn his
face away at just the right time to hide what might be shown there. Ed was a
master of deception this was true, but even he couldn't hide from himself and
Ed's self is what Al knew best.

Right now, Ed lay across from him, clinging to a blanket
for dear life and silently moving his mouth in the same name over and over and
Al wondered what had gone wrong.

Roy surveyed himself in the mirror. He had snuck out of
the office early today, swung by the cleaners and picked up his spare uniform.
He straightened his jacket and checked out his ass and mussed his hair just
so, not to much to look messy, but just enough to look less than stuffy.

Hmph. Better than most mortal women deserve.

A spritz of cologne, a quick check out the window to make
sure the driver was there, and he slung his black trench over his shoulders
and paraded out the front door, down the walk and slid smoothly into the waiting
vehicle. Penelope Brunwalder would never know what hit her.

Dinner, dancing, kissing... then other things. Yes, it
was time to get back into the routine. After all, while a certain young blond
alchemist had been a refreshing break, he certainly hadn't been much of a satisfying
one. Awkward, rough, rude and glaring... too quick to complain, too quick to
drop to sleep, Roy really wasn't quite sure what had possessed him to ever coax
the teen into his bed in the first place.

It's not like it was doing either of them much good. It
could only lead to complications neither of them needed in their lives. It was
interfering with Ed's search, it was distracting him from his ambitions... really
all around it was much, much better like this. It had perhaps helped them understand
each other better and might actually in the long run make them close friends
when Ed was old enough to appreciate what true friendship was, but Roy Mustang
was an adult and to spend his time mooning over a lust-struck teenager? Well
that was just out of the question. He sincerely hoped that Penelope still used
that cinnamon scented perfume. If he remembered correctly, it always made his
nose tingle.

Ed jerked awake but remained still, not wanting to draw
Al's attention. He wasn't sure if Al was still alert or not, but he didn't want
to have to deal with his brother's gentle concern while he had an aching hard-on.
Goddamn the man, yet another reason breaking it off had been a good idea; he
gave him erections at the most inappropriate of times. He stayed as still as
possible willing the ache between his legs to just go away. It wasn't
doing either of them much good. It could only lead to complications neither
of them needed in their lives. He was interfering with Roy's ambitions and it
was distracting Ed from his search.

But still, Roy had tried to let him down easy. What was
he thinking letting that man talk him into his bed in the first place? He had
much better things to do with his time, like restoring Al, than to be
mooning over a man almost old enough to be his father (that bastard!).
It was just out of the question. He sincerely hoped that the next time he saw
the Colonel, the man kept his eyes to himself and didn't give Al any more reasons
to wax poetic over something that was just plain nonsense to start with. He
closed his eyes, gritted his teeth and thought long and hard of Armstrong, that
had always destroyed his inappropriate erections in the past.

Roy had neatly slipped one strap of a stunning lavender
dress down a milk white shoulder and let his lips traipse their way to a slender
neck tilted just so to invite him up to a delicate ear. If one looked past the
girls questionable giggling talents, there were many things that Penelope Brunwalder
had in her favor. She was petite, she was curvy, she had a bosom that was neither
too small to be appreciated, nor too big to interfere. Her eyes were the exact
shade of blue that complimented his uniform and her hair was a gingery orange
fall of golden-streaked silk. All in all, she was a marvelous example of feminine
charm and style that wasn't above letting certain men of power carry the memory
of her charms to work with them the next day.

To keep her from giggling and ruining the moment, Roy
decided he really needed to keep her lips occupied. She sweetly parted them,
parlaying with his tongue, and let her finely manicured nails make scratching
noises up his back.

Ed's automail fingers always pressed a little too hard
when he was excited. Often, Roy wondered if he had long bruises up his back.

Roy tore his mouth away from hers, his own hands running
the curves along her sides to her hips, he dragged his mouth across her cheek
to her ear and inhaled deeply. The cinnamon scent was intoxicating.

Ed always smelled of mechanical oil and sweat, and
it was no wonder. He dressed in layers, Roy had to positively dig to find a
bit of skin.

She made this delicate little sound, not quite a moan,
more a mew and she curved herself against his frame, fitting neatly there.

Ed always grunted and snorted, his moans sounded like
an animal in pain, and his whimpers reminded Roy of a small dog doing the pee
pee dance to go out.

He threaded fingers into her hair at the base of her neck
to hold her in place as he once again took her mouth. Her hair fell in silken
waves between his fingers and it was as soft as any child's head he'd ever petted.

Ed's thick blond mess was often tangled. Roy would
snag his fingers in the braid, and deal with Ed's bitching as he worked loose
the tie. Sometimes it was even dirty and hung on his shoulders like a dull yellow

Roy pulled back to look in her eyes when her hands boldly
wandered on to his backside, she kneaded there expertly and her blue eyes spoke
volumes of pleasure without a single word from her lips.

Ed's eyes were a strange shade of amber, almost unnatural
and in some light, yellow like a cat's. Roy could have sworn he'd seen them
shine in the dark a time or two, and the overall effect was creepy.

Another tongue battle ensued and her hand which had been
so welcome on his butt, moved around his thigh to between his legs and cupped
him. After a moment they both stopped. She looked up at him, brow furrowing
delicately with blue eyes both shocked and surprised. She seemed at a loss for
what to say.

Roy remained absolutely rigid, willing any external reaction
that was in any way telling, to resolutely die on the spot before it crept to
the surface, such as say, a blush.

Penelope Brunwalder opened her mouth and said the most
horrible thing any living person had said to him in his life.

"It's ok," she said, trying to sound sympathetic (but
also trying to sound like she wasn't going to laugh)
, "This happens to everybody."

If the ground opened up beneath him and the planet dragged
him down into her fiery molten core, he could not have asked for a better way
to go.

Ed made a break for it. He threw off the blanket, bolted
to his feet and tore across the room to the door. He was out, down the hall,
down the stairs and out the front door in the night air before he even had a
chance to marvel at what a feat that was with an erection.

He stood on the cement walk and panted, drawing in the
cool night air, all too soon feeling the hot ache between his legs. He turned
in a circle and felt his world spin both figuratively and literally.

It was just no good. He ran around the house to the back
and after a moment's contemplation and feeling much chagrin and embarrassment,
he ducked into the Elysia's play house, sat on the damp ground and leaned against
it's wooden side. He was just insane, that was all, insane. He could no more
banish the man from his thoughts than he could breathe. Roy was crowded in there
with all his guilt, all his pain and all his hopes. Along side the images of
Al, the memories of his mother and all the horrors he'd witnessed in 15 very
short years. He was permanently entrenched between his heart and his soul, and
Ed had no idea how to get rid of him.

I absolutely fuckin' hate you!

But he didn't.

I don't want this!

But he did.

Leave me alone!

But please don't.

I want to cry.

And so he did.

He wiped his face on his shirttail and took a few breaths.
He felt a little better.

He's some really shitty bastard for putting me through
this, making me think this way. I don't think this way. He's another man! I
don't feel this for another man! He's brainwashed me somehow. He reached in
and grabbed me by the gray matter and he squeezed. He's a fuckin' asshole and
if I ever see him again (please yes please) I'm going to kick his ass from here
to Xing! Goddamn smooth talking, smirking, vain peacock!

It's alright Ed, it was partly my fault anyways.

Before you bit me, it was great.

This is what's waiting for you when you get back.

Ed sighed and let his head thunk against the playhouse

"Doomed," he said aloud, "doomed like the dog I am. Might
as well offer up my soul and get the blood letting over with. Might as well
call the bastard tomorrow and let him rip me to shreds. I mean, he can't do
any worse a job than I'm doing myself, right?"

He heard a soft clink like a metal door swinging half
way shut.

"Dammit Al!" He yelled, "Will you let me emo in peace?!"

Two hours and half a bottle of very fine scotch later,
Roy Mustang sat on his couch with his legs sprawled and feet on the coffee table.
The turmoil that could loosely be called his mind, leaped alternately between
a red head trying hard not to laugh at him and a blond teenager flushing and
reaching up to him. He took another violent swing of scotch and dragged the
back of his hand over his mouth.

"If some fucking teenage boy is going to do this to me,"
he screamed at his picture window, "Then I am fucking going to do that teenage

Another hearty gulp.

"YEAH! That's the word...FUCKING!"

"Can I use the phone?" Ed asked Hughes the next morning
in the office.

"Sure Ed, help yourself, there's one on Scheizka's desk,"
Hughes smiled.

"Um no, I need to use one in private," Ed lowered his
eyes to Hughes desk.

"Oh well, alright," The man stood and motioned for Ed
to follow him.

"Just make sure you lock the door behind you when you're
through," Hughes said, making Ed a loan of an office with a door.

"I will, and hey, thanks," Ed smiled.

"My pleasure," Hughes said and pulled the door shut as
he left.

Ed stared at the phone, finally rested his automail hand
on the receiver and picked it up.

Now or never.

They were walking on eggshells. On clouds on feathers
on eggshells.

The first thing the Colonel had done this morning was
to sweep his desk clean in fury over a mislaid pen, and it wasn't even a pen
that worked.

Cain, frantic that his idol be soothed, had crawled around
on hands and knees and found it against the leg of the Colonel's very own desk
where it had obviously dropped and rolled at some point the pervious day.

This disaster averted, everyone found something to do
that took them outside of the big office.

Roy clicked the silver pen furiously and scribbled all
over his desk blotter, grinding his teeth. Over and over in an up and down motion
and miracle of miracles the pen began to write! Just as it began to write, the
phone rang.

Without much thought he snatched up the receiver and growled,
"Mustang" into it, more than willing to inflict his rancid mood on the world.
But silence met his snarl and he took a deep breath and schooled himself. This
was not the behavior of a superior officer.

"Colonel?" an achingly familiar voice came over the line.

Now it was Roy's turn to offer a moment of silence and
then, finally: "Fullmetal?"

"Hey, uh, I just thought you'd like to know that things
here are going ok, and we're getting a lot of research done."

The voice on the other end of the line seemed to be...hopeful?

"I'm pleased to hear it, according to Hughes you and Scheizka
make quite a team."

Roy had to keep his voice steady, if this is what Fullmetal
needed then this is what Fullmetal shall have.

"Uh, well yeah, I mean she didn't really have any more
information than she'd given us earlier and well, I didn't even see her yesterday.
I think she took the day off. are things there?"

Roy worked his jaw a bit, tapped the silver pen on his

"Pretty much the same, but there is this report here on
my desk that might need further investigation, something to do with something
to do with a rumor that is a rumor like usual."

"Oh yeah?"

", when are you coming back?"

"Tomorrow! I mean, I think we can get a train out of here
tomorrow, that is if we have everything done by then. We probably will, not
much left to do here, I mean we definitely will, I mean I'll see if there is
a train heading out tonight, because it will take a couple of days anyways.
I have to go now and see if we can get one this afternoon. I think we're done

The boy was tripping all over himself.

"Ed," Roy said, "Hurry."

The phone went dead.

Roy Mustang used a fine silver pen to sign all his paper
that day and no one got hurt.