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The Adventures of Roy Mustang: Sex Ed Teacher

chapter 18.

But happiness was not enough, as sad as that sounded.
Once the initial embrace ended and Alphonse moved back to sit at his brother's
feet, there came an uncomfortable silence.

The brothers no longer knew each other and to Roy, that
was the real tragedy, the real heartbreak of this whole situation. After all
they'd been through, all they'd sacrificed to be together, that it should
be like this, it wasn't equivalent of anything. Couldn't they catch, for once
in their very short lives, a fucking break? It was enough that Roy began to
question the existence of higher beings, except for the ones who wanted to play
cruel games with children's lives and hearts. For all they had sacrificed for
love, love had sure done them a shitty turn. It was a wonder they still practiced
the custom at all, but these things could be remedied, he hoped. All they needed
was some quiet time with each other, maybe something they both liked doing to
put them at ease, then of course the obvious answer hit him. He stood abruptly,
bent down and scooped Ed back into his arms. Ed startled and actually put his
hand on Roy's chest and pushed against him, leaning towards Alphonse, but Roy
was neither hurt nor deterred.

"Come along Alphonse, your brother is injured and will
be more comfortable in bed," Roy said matter of fact and turned with the struggling,
silent Ed in his arms. Al leapt up immediately and trotted after, but halfway
down the hall, Roy stopped and turned back toward him (and Edward, still
bizarrely quiet, reached for him again)
"Go hang your coat on the rack."

Alphonse physically jumped a little, but then his mind
latched onto the task and comfort of the mundane, and he peeled his long red
coat off, trotting obediently back down the hall to hang it up. Edward made
this odd little keening sound and Roy bounced him rather hard. The golden eyes
snapped to his black one and Roy grinned his Pirate grin to Ed's answering scowl,
turned again down the hall and listened as Alphonse hurried along behind.

Ed was leaning out to look back at his brother as Roy
made the turn into the bedroom and as a result, was soundly struck in the back
of his head on the door frame with a resounding thwack, causing whatever
strange spell that had been woven between them by the mere sight of each other,
to suddenly and loudly, in Edward Elric fashion, be broken.

"GODDAMNIT," Ed howled and grabbed the back of his head.

"General, you should be more careful," Alphonse said behind
him anxiously, "although it was only his head... Oh, what a rude thing to say,
I'm sorry!"

Edward was glaring at Roy (since he couldn't see around
him to glare at Al) as he was deposited on the bed amidst a nest of pillows,
blankets, books and pictures. Roy looked at the scowl, was so happy to be on
the receiving end of the scowl and had missed the scowl. He had been so good
about letting Ed sleep all night and all that day before Al arrived, he felt
that now, finally, he should get to kiss the scowl and leaned in to do so. But,
a hand hit his shoulder hard and golden eyes were saucers with frantic lips
that mouthed 'Al' over and over again. Then he remembered that Al couldn't remember
and pulled back slowly, wanting to just baptize Al in fire right then and there
and get it over with. The frantic look in Ed's eyes stopped him, and his rationale
slapped him.

Al stood back a bit, hands clasped before him. Roy looked
at him being all polite and patient and that just wouldn't do, so he took a
stride over to him and grabbed him around the waist, causing Al's eyes now to
become saucers as he squeaked indignantly, lifted into the air. Both brothers
cried out in shock as Roy tossed Al on top of his startled brother and two pairs
of saucer eyes looked at him from the bed, where Ed laid sprawled with Al similarly
sprawled in his lap.

"I need to feed you both," Roy said, "which is very magnanimous
of me, seeing how just one of you can devastate a pantry. The two of you together
would be a culinary devouring force to deal with indeed, so keep each other
amused while I amount what will be a massive frontal strike on my kitchen,"
he turned toward the door, but then turned back, "requests or to my own discretion?"

"It's Thursday," Al suddenly said.

"Indeed it is, no need to say anything more," the General
went out the door.

Alphonse sat up gingerly and risked a glance at his sibling.
Ed was still watching his every move like a snake watched a rat, but when he
noticed Al looking at him, he smiled and seemed to fumble around for something
to say.

"Um," Ed said, "Why is Thursday so special?" he asked.

"Oh," Al scooted to the side of the bed and sat with his
legs over the edge, "that's the day mess serves noodles and meat sauce, it's
my favorite. I'm sorry, I should have let you have a say, I can run and tell
the General if you want something different," Al offered.

"No," Ed said, smile spreading a little, "it's my favorite
too, and he's very good at making it."

For brothers to be strangers felt like another sin to
Ed. Where was all this damnable awkwardness coming from? This was Alphonse for
goodness sake, just Al, just his little brother who he'd known all his life.

He was so beautiful, even more so than Ed had ever
imagined. He was paler and taller than Ed (not that it was a good thing necessarily,
but it's not like he could blame Al for it)
, his hair was long now, which
was new and fascinating and different, his eyes seemed the same as Ed remembered
and his voice was still soft and high in pitch, unbroken as Ed's had been when
he was torn from all he knew.

But Al turned away from him now, sitting on the edge of
the bed with his hands in his lap. He looked uncomfortable and Edward was never
the one with the words for these situations. With things like this, he always
had Al to rely on to make it alright, but now Al wasn't there anymore.
No, he was right there, but he wasn't there.

"The General might need some help," Alphonse said suddenly,
sliding off the bed and glancing at Ed. That quick dart of eyes pleaded for
Ed to release him and what could Ed do, what could he do really? Here was everything
he'd ever wanted, everything he ever needed, how could he deny it anything?

"Sure," Ed said, amazed that he could sound so normal,
"he, uh, he probably does," he finished on a mumble.

He glanced down at his hand on the bedcovers and listened
to Al walk out the door.

So much for my happy ending.


Alphonse didn't immediately go into the kitchen; he hovered
in the hallway just to one side of the door so the General wouldn't see him.

You are being so selfish, what's wrong with you?

I just need some time to get my head around it, that's
all. He keeps looking at me like I'm some sort of lost treasure and it's uncomfortable.
He doesn't look like the pictures or dreams, he's only half there.

Alphonse felt heat in his cheeks. That was so ungracious,
it's not like Edward could help it.

I'm not used to being petty or childish, these are
new things to me. You know how I am with new things.

Alphonse wasn't sure who he was talking to, but it didn't
stop him from talking.

You're not paying attention to him, you're not looking
for the things you normally look for. Are you afraid to know your own brother?

What are you talking about, of course I'm not afraid!

But maybe he was.

Maybe you are afraid that he's not what you think he
was, maybe you don't want your lofty mental image knocked from its pedestal.

No! That's not true, I haven't idealized him that much,
I haven't! I read all the reports I could on him, I listened to all the stories!
I have studied him unwaveringly since I was ten years old, I know what to expect!

You can't even lie properly to yourself.

His eyes were stinging as he swallowed hard and gritted
his teeth.

It's hard to find these ugly places in yourself, isn't
it?

He's... broken. He's not what I expected.

Ragged admission, admitted defeat.

Would it have been better if he never came back? That
he let you continue your noble cause until the end of your days? What was he
to you anyway? What was that journey, really? Did you use the memory, the General's
obvious love for him, for your own gains? Were you truly looking for Edward
Elric or yourself? You heard the rumors, you knew that somehow what you are
now isn't what you were before, and that ate at you didn't it? Let me use your
word, it 'plagued' you.

Stop. Please stop.

What were you looking for, exactly? Was it your brother?

Stop this right now.

Or was it yourself?

Al squeezed his eyes shut very tightly and took several
deep breaths, willing that voice (that damnable voice... why was it here
now, what did It mean? It wasn't like this before, only now that he'd seen Edward...)

to be silent. It took a moment or two of hard concentration. He worked on his
breathing, evened it out, in and out slowly. That was better, much better. When
he slowly opened his eyes, he saw the shadow on the floor. It was being cast
to his right from a light source emanating from somewhere other than the hall.
He lifted his head slowly and looked at the General who was standing in the
kitchen doorway.


Or is it? Do I have to take this? No. Will I take this?
No. He can't do this to me. You know when it's enough?

When I say it is, that's when. Edward—it's
enough.

Take back your life.


Roy raised his head at the bellow that threatened to weaken
the foundation holding up his very militarily-appropriate house. He felt his
jaw slacken just when he was wondering where he was going to find it in him
to somehow make this more than what it was becoming, which was another goddamn
Elric brother pity party, but it seemed that Edward had other ideas.

"ALPHONSE ELRIC, YOU GET IN HERE," came the thunder down
the hall, "YOU AND I HAVE THINGS TO DISCUSS AND SINCE I CAN'T CHASE AFTER YOU
RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN TO YOUR BIG BROTHER AND YOU ARE
GOING TO GET IN THIS BEDROOM! HEY BASTARD, I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR THIS TOO, IF
HE RUNS, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO JUMP ON HIS ASS AND DRAG HIM BACK IN HERE
BY HIS PONYTAIL- AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING!! WHY THE FUCK IS HE DRESSED LIKE
ME?!"

Roy jerked a bit because suddenly Alphonse's arms were
around his waist. He looked down at the boy and Alphonse looked back up at him,
tightening his hold.

"Please don't make me go back in there with a mad man,"
Alphonse begged and whined when Roy tried to loosen the strangle hold around
his waist.

"Oh no," Roy said, "this is your accident of birth, not
mine."

Bravo Edward, bravo. You have finally figured it out,
you ARE worthy of something.

"I'M WAITING," the voice came again, searching out the
nooks and crannies, permeating every crack in the foundation. Roy was sure he
heard the house groan, "IF I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS BED AND SCOOT DOWN THE
HALL ON MY ASS, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WILL CATCH YOU! GODDAMN ROY, HOW FAST CAN
HE BE?! I DON'T HEAR ANY RUNNING!"

It was just music, finer than any phonograph Roy Mustang
had ever owned. He laughed and struggled with Al, who hadn't let go of his waist,
and began dragging him down the hall. Al resisted with whines and heels, but
it wasn't going to do him any good.

It was about time that Alphonse Elric met his elder brother,
Edward Elric, the FullMetal Alchemist, the unstoppable force and the Alchemist
of the Common Man. The whole reason Roy Mustang's life was a great place to
be, for it wasn't dull, it was never dull. Just when he thought the road ahead
was straight and clear, there would be the flash of gold and a sharp left turn
and he'd make it. He'd be off again on this never-ending, thrice-damned, tumultuous
journey that had a name, and its name was Edward Elric.

He never wanted to outlive it; he never wanted to be without
it again. So when he pried Alphonse loose, gave him a thumbs up sign and physically
shoved him into the bedroom, he wasn't throwing him to the lions, oh no, he
wasn't. He was doing him a goddamn favor, he was introducing Alphonse Elric
to the most important thing in his whole life, the thing that would be there
for him when he was happy or sad, would make threats on his behalf, eat all
of his food, sleep on his sofa, make a mess of his library, drive his future
wife batshit and spoil his children.

He was introducing Alphonse Elric to fate and a brother.

God help him.

Welcome home, my love. Welcome home.


Ed leaned forward on the bed when Alphonse came sliding
into the room, propelled by a hand on his back. When the arm started to withdraw,
Alphonse whipped around only to have it return, but this time on his face. Al
staggered back and the General leaned into the doorjamb, grabbing the doorknob.
Two pairs of eyes settled on him, one pair screamed 'Don't leave me!' and the
other pair howled 'Get the fuck out!', but he was more afraid of the second
pair than the first pair, and he wanted sex with the second pair eventually,
so it was best he obeyed.

"Dinner in an hour," he said cheerily. "You boys have
a nice chat!" He pulled the bedroom door shut kind of hard to make it sound
final and held onto the knob a moment to make sure Alphonse didn't leap to it
and try to yank it back open, but Alphonse was busy being pinned to the spot
where he stood by some fiery, scotch-colored eyes and he hadn't made a peep.
He let go cautiously and backed down the hallway. About halfway down, he figured
that Alphonse couldn't shake himself free and it was alright to return to the
kitchen.


"What are you trying to pull here," the maniac on the
bed said, leaning forward hard and jaw set harder.

"Nothing," Al squeaked and boggled at the sound of his
own voice. His eyes skittered nervously over the man on the bed and to the window.
The man on the bed followed his gaze and gave a mirthless laugh.

"Go ahead and try it," he said, "I know I don't look like
much right now, but I can guarantee you won't make it."

"I wasn't thinking anything," Alphonse yelped. Again,
where was this voice coming from? Surely not from him, but there wasn't anyone
else in the room and it certainly wasn't Edward's voice. He had to calm down,
this was most unbecoming. He was a State Alchemist after all, and his brother,
Edward, was not. At least not anymore, he'd been buried with honors, and once
you're buried, even if you do come back to life, the military isn't interested
in the paperwork it would take to dig you up, so Edward was just a civilian.
Alphonse was a representative of the state and he should act like one.
He lifted his chin and brushed down his shirt and put his hands at his sides
to face this head on, because that is what he should do, as a State Alchemist.

Ed looked him up and down and his mouth drew down at the
corners. Alphonse glanced down at himself, but he seemed all in order.

"So what is this," Edward said, "some sort of... tribute?"
He flashed the most amazing cocky grin, like he was smug and proud. Alphonse
felt heat in his cheeks and defended himself.

Yes.

"No," he said, "it was just practical."

"Practical?" Ed said.

"Yes, there was this spare set in the suit case and they
fit," Al said.

"They fit?" Ed raised an eyebrow.

"Well they used to, and then I had them altered," Al said.

"I see," Ed said, smirk returning.

"I had gotten used to them by then," Al countered.

"Used to them, I see," Ed's smirk grew wider.

"It wasn't for anything else," Al said, feeling his eyebrows
draw further down the wider the smirk became, "I wasn't trying to be you."

It was a way to be closer to you, though.

"What about the hair," Ed reached back and flipped his
own, "you always told me it was hot and impractical and you were too busy to
pick knots out of it," he seemed to be enjoying this.

Alphonse had no defense, really.

"I was too busy to have it cut," Al said loftily.

"I'm sure Granny or Winry could have done it while you
had your nose squished against the pages of a book," Ed said, looking so damn
smug, "you wanted to be like your big brother" and Ed tilted his nose in the
air, "and I don't blame you."

Alphonse let his jaw drop. How incredibly arrogant and
rude!

Exactly as you've read!

"Pamela liked it," Alphonse blurted and then blanched.

The nose came down and the eyebrows went up.

"Who is Pamela," Edward asked.

"A Second Lieutenant in the accounting pool, why?" Al
tried to adopt nonchalance and failed.

"I don't think I know her," Edward said.

"Well you wouldn't," Alphonse said, "you haven't been
around." Oh! That wasn't very nice. He was sorry, but as he opened is mouth
to apologize, Edward spoke again.

"You can't date, you're only 16," Edward said.

What? What did he just say?

"That's too young to be dating," Edward said, "and besides,
I don't know her. I don't want you to date girls I don't know."

The voice that had been in Alphonse Elric's thoughts that
confused him and jarred him, suddenly decided to be his champion.

"I don't recall having to have your permission," Alphonse
said smoothly, "from what I've read about you, you aren't a very sterling example.
There were several mentions of your inability to negotiate with the opposite
sex."

Edward sat back a little.

"What do you mean?" he asked, eyes getting wide.

"When I began to research you," Alphonse continued, his
turn to stick his nose in the air, "any scrap of information I could find on
you I considered incredibly valuable knowledge. After all, the more I knew about
you, the better I would be able to find you. Any tiny insignificant scrap of
knowledge can break the camel of investigation's back..."

"Camel of..." Ed started.

"Don't interrupt," Al said raising a hand and Ed went
silent, "so, I searched out financial records and journals and evaluation reports...
and I can honestly see why you started a Major and ended as one," Al snorted
and Ed scowled, "but I digress. There was this group of women in the records
department of East City and they all had a little betting pool. It seemed to
be an offshoot of a betting pool that I believe started in Central in the information
department, the officer in charge at the time was a Lieutenant Colonel named
Maes Hughes, I know you knew him," Al said airily.

Edward sobered a moment. "Yeah, I did."

Alphonse studied that look, a sadness was there, but muted.
Edward must have liked the man a great deal. His brother was compassionate,
so he made a note of it.

"But anyway," Al plowed ahead, "they kept notes and records.
They were trying to better their chances, bet the odds, and they did it all
in the back of a ledger that would have been overlooked by anyone but me, because
I was looking at everything. So they started this little flowchart..."

"A flow chart of what?" Ed snorted.

"Your hits and misses," Al said, "when it came to women."

Edward flailed his lone arm.

"I never tried to date women," Ed snorted, "this is absurd."

"For a while, the odds on favorite was a woman named Schiezka,"
Alphonse said, "I've met her before, she's very nice."

"Schiezka," Edward sputtered, "why the hell would I want
to date Schiezka?"

I had the hots for a certain Colonel at the time.

"Well the popular opinion was only a walking library could
stand to date you, on a side bet they threw in your virginity," Al said and
gave his own, half cocky smile.

"THOSE BASTARDS," and off Edward went, "BAD ENOUGH THEY
MOCK MY HEI... STATURE, AS AN ALCHEMIST MIND YOU, BUT THEY HAD BETS ABOUT WHO
I WAS GONNA LOSE MY VIRGINITY TO?!" he howled.

I wonder if the Colonel knew this? I'll fucking pull
his dick off if he did!

"There were wild conjectures and rumors," Alphonse said,
fanning the flames, this was rather fun, "you wouldn't believe some to the things
I read," he grinned merrily.

Edward was turning purple and Alphonse was appalled at
himself, yet he wasn't. It was a little disturbing and yet kind of nice at once.

"Major Sarah Cotillion," Alphonse said.

"That bitch made me prefer the company of rabid
chimeras in heat and THAT was on a GOOD day," Edward shrilled, waving
his arm wildly.

"Second Lieutenant Cheryl Masterson," Alphonse supplied.

"I'd have rather given head to a TOAD," Edward informed.

"First Lieutenant Hawkeye, but before you even go into
that," and now Alphonse looked Edward up and down, "I know with certainty
that would never happen."

Edward did the most amazing contortions for being down
two limbs and Alphonse was very impressed.

"Lastly, and my very favorite so it can't be least, the
really good one," Alphonse grinned wicked and clever, and Edward panted, eyeing
him, "it was said you lost it to Colonel Roy Mustang," Alphonse was all
prepared for a very funny bit of wild flailing and guttural noises that would
put the most indolent pig to shame, but instead, Edward's eyebrows scaled his
forehead and took refuge in his thick blond bangs, his jaw hit the bed and
made a break for it, and his eyes almost rolled back in his head for a moment.
He made this really odd wheezing sound and his whole body seized up.

Alphonse Elric, master of observation, man of knowledge
and trivia, interpreted these signs and came to the following conclusions:

Number one: There were airborne swine in this world.

Number Two: There was a tree out there, somewhere, waiting
to be discovered and when he found it, he would be very rich indeed.

And

Number Three: People with pitchforks were ice skating.

His brother, and his Pirate.

The voice in his head that had been so helpful took a
nose dive off the end of his common sense and drowned in the sea of his disbelief
that had frozen over with his sense of utter incredulity. Alphonse Elric short
circuited and just stood there watching his elder brother turn blue.

"That's fuckin'," Ed wheezed out and then panted, "ridiculous,"
he finished and gagged and coughed.

Alphonse found the fuse box of his mind, toggled the switches
and everything gave that starting up whine as it creaked back into production.

His brother didn't want him to know it.


The rap on the door, while timely and well placed, almost
made them both leave their skin and head for higher ground. The door swung open
and the General stuck his head in and looked between them. First at Alphonse
with a quirked eyebrow, then at Edward with a little grimace.

"Hungry?" he asked the room in general.

"YES," they both half shouted, to escape this thing, whatever
it had become.

The General looked back and forth between them several
times, like he was trying to decide what had just gone on. Edward was panting,
Alphonse was shifting from foot to foot and neither of them could look at him
directly.

"Okay," the General said, "I suppose we can eat in here.
Alphonse, why don't you clear off that window table over there and move it by
the bed," he asked, "and stuff some more pillows behind your brother's back,
but be careful, that is where he's injured."

The commands (from this man, anyway) had their
usual comforting effect on Al when he was in a stressful situation and he nodded,
heading over to the window table to remove the knick knacks and change its position.

"Are you okay?" the General asked Ed.

Edward, to his credit, waved him off with his hand and
a rather normal-sounding "I'm fine."

So the General nodded and went back down the hall.

Alphonse moved the table close to the left side of the
bed, then walked around to the right side, fluffed up some pillows and looked
at Ed.

Ed leaned forward helpfully and Al wiggled a pillow behind
his lower back.

"Is that comfortable?" he asked his older brother.

"Yes, thanks," Edward said, smiling a very warm smile
despite all that had went on not ten minutes ago and Alphonse felt a little
jolt that the smile was comforting, too. He toed off his shoes, pushed up his
sleeves and even though it might be a little rude without asking, he climbed
up onto the bed and sat beside his big brother, legs folded with knees out.

"I want to sincerely apologize," Al said, "for earlier.
I don't know what came over me," and he studied the hands that he had folded
neatly into the circle of his lap, made by his folded legs.

Edward's hand was suddenly warm on his back and it was
rubbing in a very soothing way.

"Don't worry about it," his big brother said, "I wasn't
much help either. There was so much going on in my mind when I saw you that
I couldn't even speak. It was a shock for you too I'm sure, a big one. I don't
look the same, I don't sound the same, my voice broke haha, but yours will too,"
he reassured, "and we just weren't prepared for it. I know the General was just
excited, but he should have prepared us a little. We can't blame him for being
happy for us though and it's okay now, isn't it?" and Edward leaned forward
a little and his hand moved up Al's back to the back of his head and pushed.
Al turned to look at him, "After all, we're brothers."

Yes, that was it exactly. He knew Ed would understand
and Alphonse slowly leaned against the living legend he'd searched for all these
years. He was warm, solid and he smelled like soap. His hand had traveled again
to draw lazy circles at Alphonse's temple and that was just nice, he hadn't
knocked Edward from his pedestal, he just hadn't built it high enough.

"I really missed you," Alphonse Elric said to Edward Elric,
"and I'm so glad you're home."

The General, who had started to come into the door, backed
out of it slowly and retreated once more to the kitchen. Nothing was going to
go bad if it sat a little longer on the stove.

"Me too," his big brother said, trying to keep the shake
out of his voice, "because nothing was going to keep me from you, nothing at
all." Despite his best efforts not to, Edward sniffled.

In the kitchen, the General allowed himself a pat on the
back.

Welcome home for real my love, welcome home.


Sleeping alone in the guest bedroom made very comfortable
for Alphonse Elric was not very fun, Roy decided, not when Edward was all too
real and in his bed not more than a room or two away. But he could deny him
nothing and the same for Alphonse, so he let the brothers sleep together that
night. Edward and Alphonse both were a little old for it, but if Roy thought
about it, it had been eleven years since they'd done it, not just six, so it
was allowed. He dared anyone to tell him differently.

He pulled himself up, yawned, scratched, scratched some
more, shuffled down the hall to the bathroom and sat around in there for a while.
Then he realized he'd left his eye patch on the bedside table, so he slinked
back down the hall to the guest bedroom and retrieved it. He went back to the
bathroom and put it on, making sure it was straight, then contemplated what
it would feel like to sleep with it on.

He hadn't thought much about it, because once again, as
all things come full circle, he and Ed were playing The Great Waiting Game.
Yes, the game designed to drive him to new heights of unwilling restraint. Ed
was uncomfortable with introducing his love life to Alphonse so blatantly, and
that hurt just a little, but it was understandable as well. He shuffled back
down the hall and paused at his bedroom door and listened. He could hear voices,
so he knocked.

"Come in," Alphonse called cheerfully, so he opened the
door and came into the room.

Ed and Al were both lying on their stomachs, Ed with his
lone foot in the air and Al bunched up beside him, swimming in a pair of Roy's
borrowed pajamas. They both grinned at him and his heart did a little skip because
it was such a pretty sight. Mrs. Elric had made pretty babies.

"General," Ed said and winked.

"Pirate," Al said and grinned.

"Pirate?" Ed said, one eyebrow quirking.

"I'm a pirate, didn't you know?" Roy said, walking across
the room to his closet, "I sail the seas in a galleon called the Raucous Flame
and I lay siege to ports and loot booty and all that sort of thing," Roy tossed
over his shoulder.

"It's terribly exciting," Al said in a loud, but conspiratorial
way, "his position as a General in the army is just a front, you see."

"Well damn," Ed said, "here you had this great double
life and I didn't even know about it."

"I drink rum and wench like there is no tomorrow when
no one is looking," Roy said, shrugging out of his pajama top and tossing it
in the hamper at the bottom of the closet.

"He likes to wench the most," Al said looking over at
Ed, but then he stopped a moment and watched his brother watch the Pirate. The
way his brother's eyes traced the Pirate's bare back and lower made Al shift
a little uncomfortably, so he elbowed Ed 'on accident'.

"He was well known for his wenching ways, that's not a
secret," Ed said flatly.

"Ah, too true," Roy said, "too true. Everyone knows I'm
neigh well irresistible and the eye patch is just damn sexy."

Al saw something else in his brother's eyes, a sudden
concern Al knew he wouldn't voice while his younger brother lay beside him,
so he jumped up to his knees and clapped his hands, causing the General to turn
around and Ed to crane his neck to look at him.

"I'm going to go back to the dorm and get some things,
and then when I come back we can call Winry and Granny," he said.

"Yeah," Ed said, eyes brightening briefly. "oh yeah..."
the shine in his eyes was replaced by concern for his own self.

"Oh, it won't be so bad," Al said, "they will be so happy
to know you're home and Winry can't hardly blame you for losing the automail."

"That's what you think," Ed said gloomily, "she loved
it more than she ever loved the bits of me attached to it," Ed dropped his chin
back to the bed.

"A necessary evil," Alphonse said, "unless you like the
General carrying you around everywhere you go for the rest of your life."

The General got a funny look that said he just might like
that, but Ed said "Can't have that."

Al climbed off the bed. Ed was still looking happy, but
a little sad that his brother left him there as Al trotted out and down to the
guest room where his suitcase was stored last night.

"He's incredible. He's everything you said he is and more,"
Ed said, eyes still on the door where his younger brother had disappeared.

Roy pulled a scooped neck, long sleeved black sweater
over his head, finger-combed his hair and stepped out of his sleep pants. Ed
heard the movement and was watching him again. Roy noticed, grinned, winked
his one eye and pulled out a pair of blousy pants that were almost like pajama
pants and stepped into them.

"Why do you always wink at me when I watch you dress,"
Ed said, swinging his foot up and down idly.

"Because I like watching you watch me dress, and I wink
at you to let you know," Roy said, stuffing his feet into a pair of house loafers.

"Seems silly," Ed sighed, then rolled into his back and
pushed his bangs up out of his eyes, "but whatever you want, you have a lot
of funny habits."

Roy snorted.

"Look who's talking, I'm going to go call Alphonse a cab,"
Roy walked by the bed, tapped Ed on the end of his nose and Ed craned his head
back to watch him leave the room.

"Especially that circle thing you do when you're confused,"
he said after the vanished figure, "I've always wanted to see you do it in your
military butt skirt, because that would be too funny," Ed grinned at himself
and his joke, and stuck his foot up in the air.


Ed became a one-armed octopus when Al hugged him goodbye.

"I'll only been be gone a couple of hours," Al grunted
and squirmed.

"I know, but I'll still miss you. What's wrong, ashamed
to hug your big brother goodbye?" Ed complained.

"No, I like breathing, " Al wheezed.

Roy took pity, went over and yanked on Al until Ed let
go.

"Ok," Roy said, smoothing Al's collar, "be careful. Call
me before you leave the dorms to let me know when you're heading back," Roy
smoothed Al's bangs, "and if you see Colonel Hawkeye, tell her that I will call
her to explain everything," Roy gave Al's ponytail a little tug, "and make sure
you bring the dirty clothes you have stashed in your room back with you, I'll
have the cleaning lady wash them."

Al was looking up at Roy the entire time and nodding and
smiling.

Ed marveled. Roy had turned Ed into his lover, but Alphonse
had turned Roy into his father. Wait, did that make Ed Al's mother?

They all turned their heads at the sound of a car horn,
both near and faint.

"I'll walk you to the door," Roy said and clapped his
hand on Al's back, but as they started to leave the room, a kicked puppy whimpered
behind them. Roy stopped, turned around and sighed.


Roy stood holding Ed in his arms at the front door.

"Come right back," Ed said anxiously to Al.

"I will," Al reassured him.

"Al, look out!" Roy said suddenly. Alphonse skipped back
out of Edward's reach and opened the door.

"I'll call," Al reassured them both, went out and pulled
the door shut behind them.

Roy sighed, smiled and looked at Edward who was working
his mouth. His lower lip was trembling as he turned big, liquid, golden eyes
on Roy and he whimpered. "He grew up so fast!"

Roy rolled his eyes and turned to carry Ed back to the
bedroom.


Roy lowered Ed down into the pillows but let the blond
shift around to get himself comfortable and just stood back admiring him while
he did it. Age had brought beauty to Edward Elric beyond that of his youth.
His jaw was a bit squarer, his face more filled out, his neck was thicker and
his shoulders, which had always been well defined, now carried adult musculature.
His hair was thick, heavy and a bit rough, but it was still brilliant and perhaps
a touch lighter. His lone arm was well-defined, his hand a bit broader, his
chest (when it had been bare) was a symphony of male planes that trailed into
an abdomen prominent with its six fans of muscle to either side. He had narrow,
square hips and corded thighs that weren't heavy, a well defined calf and of
course, Edward was healthy in the way of males, that seem to have gotten bigger
too.

All in all, Edward Elric was a dazzling display of male
grace and virility, and Roy now had a hard on. Al was gone and Edward's back
didn't seem to be bothering him all that much, so he started at the foot of
the bed. He pulled himself up on it on his hands and knees and he began a slow
crawl. Edward looked up at him, eyes taking him in a moment before realizing
and really taking him in. Edward smiled at him and shifted around some
more, putting on a casual look. He was delicious with ripples of gold hanging
over his shoulder, a pajama top that was too big for him hanging at a heavy
'v' under his neck showing his chest and a pair of boxers that were also too
big for him and Roy knew, with dizzy anticipation, that they made him very,
very accessible.

"General," Edward purred, with his silken, deeper voice.
It ran right over Roy, right to his cock, who found its voice again after all
these years and began to sing praises to this man, this new lover the General
had found. Roy let out a low moan at just this voice and licked his lips.

"No," Edward said softly, "not here. Here you are the
Colonel," and his eyes went half mast.

Roy sang to life. There was no other word for it,
he wanted to drop to the bed and just writhe, it was that strong a sensation.
He gained Edward's body and lowered his lips over that one foot, kissed the
top of hit and dragged his tongue, and Edward shivered, bitting his bottom lip.
Roy's tongue then caressed his ankle, the back of his heel and up the side of
his quivering calf. He could hear Edward's breathing, becoming deeper and more
erratic. There was new country to discover on this arduous journey and Roy was
a leisurely traveler, he let his tongue taste the back of a knee, the side of
the same knee, his lips deciding to take up a leg of the campaign, which was
only appropriate considering the terrain. It was an assault on the sense of
his lover, a well strategized conquering, for he was, after all, a General.
He would run roughshod over the man before him, take him captive, make him surrender,
make him curse the name Mustang even as he screamed it in pleasure. He would
be dictator and tyrant and king, but most of all, he would be lover, because
that was the cruelest and greatest master of all.

He kissed up a shuddering thigh to the edge of the boxers.
Edward made a lovely low sound and reached across to thread fingers into his
hair. Roy arched his head up and back to the touch, turning his black eye to
Edward's light ones, opening his mouth and moaning. The effect on Ed was dramatic,
his chest heaved and his throat worked hard and he began to pant.

This was love. This desire and ardor, this ability to
arouse with the merest gestures, something he'd always craved and something
he had finally won with his blood and his sweat and his tears. He moved and
crawled up between Ed's parted thighs as Ed watched, his eyes crawling from
Roy's eye to his lips and back again. Roy went up on his knees; one hand went
back to the top of the headboard and gripped it, the other slid slowly up Ed's
throat. He marveled in the movement under his palm as he brought his hand up
slowly, turned and hooked his thumb over Edward's chin and then forced his head
back. He lowered his face very slowly and Edward opened his mouth, shaking everywhere.
Roy got to within a breath of those lips and he offered his tongue, so very
slowly, and Ed made a sound that was plaintive and longing as he offered his.
Roy slid his against it, then crowded it before his, back into Edward's mouth
and took it. He claimed it, and Edward yielded with grace and eagerness,
but none the less hungry for it.

Roy praised and punished, did battle and was victorious.
Ed's fingers dug into his sweater and dragged at the fabric as he arched his
body up, his head touching the headboard as he was devoured. When Roy withdrew
slightly, Edward made a sound that was craving and grievous. He swallowed and
found breath for voice.

"Missed this, fucking missed this," he growled, "you fucking
kissed me in my dreams and I fucking woke up looking for you. It was fucking
hell," he panted and pulled harder on Roy's sweater, "I fucking missed you,
god I fucking love you," he said.

Roy couldn't let such high praise go unrewarded. He took
the ardent mouth again, he was a merciful ruler, and Edward's whole body responded
beneath him. Roy released his chin even as he held his mouth in abduction, dropping
his fingers to the buttons and simply pulling. The cloth gave beneath him and
he pulled back again as Edward panted in defeat. Roy moved to take another victory,
this time his neck and Edward made a lavish sound, tilting his head to the side
in complete supplication. Roy pushed the pajama top off his shoulder and dragged
his fingers down that chest. It was hard and contoured, it did not give beneath
his fingers and Edward made a rumble like a big cat as Roy's fingers moved again
to his nipple. He pressed and pinched it, it put up no resistance and gave him
what he wanted immediately, drawing tight to a point.

Roy sat back then, took in the sight of Edward, flushed
but not in the way of his youth, already starting to glisten slightly with his
lips red and a mark on his neck redder. He was an indolent angel and a vexing
devil, sprawled back against the headboard, haloed in gold of a heavy mane and
thighs spread wide. His eyes made lazy passage of Roy's body, then inured in
Roy's crotch as he licked his lips and Roy tossed aside his earlier offering
of angelic to this man. There was nothing angelic about him.


Roy gripped the bottom of his sweater and pulled upwards,
crossing his arms as he did so and a smooth, white chest appeared in relief
to the black sweater as it dragged upward.

"You're fucking beautiful, Mustang," Edward growled and
Roy blinked his single eye at him, surprised then obviously pleased.

I want this man when I get my automail back...

It was dizzying to think of it. Roy's soft pants had ridden
low when he stretched his body up to remove the sweater and Edward appreciated
the navel and that small expanse of exposed lower stomach, like other men would
appreciate fine wine.

The man was a fucking work of art and he didn't even have
to work at it. He was the laziest bastard this side of the East, and yet, he
was a sculpture.

He was pale and smooth, the only hair besides his head
and that damnable eyebrow was the faint trail that started on his lower stomach
and spread out, thick and dark above his sex. Edward pointed with his toes.

"Take them off," he commanded, indicating the Colonel's
pants. Roy licked his lips, seemed to consider a moment, then obeyed, sitting
up on his knees and sliding them down along with his briefs. (he had to pull
them up and out a little to do it, because the man was hard as a rock)
He
sat back on his ass, working them down and off his feet, then stretched his
arm out, eyes catching on Ed's and snagging there, then let them fall from his
fingers to the floor beside the bed.

The bastard could work a moment. Ed squirmed in appreciation,
his own cock now pushing insistently against the front of his borrowed boxers.
It seemed funny that the Colonel had a pair to spare, considering he only wore
briefs. Ed would have to drill him about this, but later.

"Stretch for me," he whispered to that intense black stare.
The Colonel raised that eyebrow a moment, and then he did the most insidious
thing. He scooted a bit toward Edward and lay back against the bed. He dropped
his feet to either side of Ed's leg, and well, non-leg, with knees bent and
feet flat on the bed. He raised his arms over his head and stretched, he pulled
every muscle from his stomach to his shoulders taunt and he arched up into it
and Edward could feel his brain melting and pooling in the wells of his ear
drums, leaking drip by drip out of his ears.

He was just fucking out of reach. Ed could touch is leg
so he did, but that wasn't what he wanted. He then realized that finally, after
all these years, the bastard was getting revenge for that fucking time he'd
left him...

"BASTARD," Ed howled and pulled on Roy's leg. The 'Colonel'
just laughed and stretched again, causing Edward to moan and whine as he wrapped
his hand behind the bastard's leg and pulled, but it did no good.

"Ah," the Colonel said, "I love it when you use your pet
name for me."

"You sonuvabitch!" Ed raged.

"No, not that one," Roy purred.

Edward was still Edward no matter how grown he might be.
He slammed himself into the headboard in frustration and then his eyes got wide
and he sobbed out.


Roy sat up.

"Damn it, Ed!" and he crawled up between his thighs again
and Edward leaned into his chest and sniveled. Roy grumbled, patted his head
and sighed. How did they always manage to do things like THIS?!

Edward complained bitterly as Roy checked his back and
went to get fresh bandages.

"Just leave it, I don't care," Edward whined, as he was
tended.

"Spastic. You will never outgrow being spastic," Roy growled.

But Roy got him bandaged up again and seemed satisfied
with it. He left the bedroom again and Edward railed against it, yelling his
name incisively and shrieking his head off when Roy walked by the bedroom door
without coming into it. He snarled at him when he finally did come back in,
but Roy held up a bottle and wiggled it back and forth. Ed fought the urge to
flop over and if he had a tail, he would have wagged it.

The Colonel (who was a General when he wasn't in the
bed)
sat the bottle of cooking oil on the bedside and loosened the cap.
He would have liked to give Edward a sidelong look as he did it, but as luck
would have it, he was blind on that side.

Ed was all hand when he crawled back in, but was easily
defeated. It was also easy to avoid the gnashing teeth Ed tried to use to grab
him with when his hand was held down and Roy chuckled at his frustrated, high-pitched
sounds.

"I hate you, let me go, touch me, do something!" Ed demanded,
"You'd think after six years you'd want to get rid of those blue balls!"

Roy lifted his single eyebrow and arranged himself on
his knees once more. He released Ed's hand but when Ed raised it he tsk'd at
him.

"No grabbing yet," he threatened to hold it down again
and Edward snatched it back. He had disposed of Edward's pajama top while bandaging
him and now he leaned forward and slipped his fingers under the boxers' waist
band. Edward slammed his hand and leaned onto it, using his leg and stub to
lift his ass from the mattress. Roy pulled them off and tossed them over his
shoulder. Together, they looked down at Edward's erection.

Roy gave a low whistle, winking that solitary eye. Edward
flushed and growled at himself for doing it.

"Very nice, I'm very impressed. At least the rest of your
body decided to ignore your height issues," Roy said.

Edward was torn instantly in two. Part of him wanted to
scream obscenities that would peel the bastard's flesh from his bones, but then
the other part of him screamed loudly that he was just given a huge fucking
compliment and he should want to kiss the bastard until he strangled him to
death for lack of breath. Either option would not make for good sex though,
and he tried vainly to hold himself in check.

"That was... I'm not... you bastard!" he managed, and
it was eloquent.

Roy's own erection seemed to be leaning toward it, so
Edward scootched down and decided they should meet. Roy seemed very amused by
the butt sliding and wiggling.

"HELP ME," Edward shrieked.

The bastard chuckled indulgently, but then he moved forward,
putting his hands on either side of Ed's hips and arching. The most amazing
thing happened.

Roy stopped smirking, Ed stopped bitching and they both
began to move. Ed lifted his head to look between their bodies. Roy's cock slid
to the left of his and along it. It was longer, (Taller. Figures, fucker.)
it touched Ed on the belly and it was erotic as all hell. Ed's breath congealed
in his throat and had to force it out. Ed own cock, broader and heavier, dragged
through coarse, dark hair and it was fucking good, that prickly, scratchy heat.
Ed heaved his chest and flopped back, grabbing Roy's elbow with his hand and
pulling using the leverage to arch himself up hard. Roy made a sound between
raw and barbarian, and he thrust, slamming them together. Their cocks
were crushed between them and Ed answered with a cry just as savage, the bump
and grind had never been like this, like this struggle of nature it was
now, because each thrust, each push, no matter how brutal, wasn't enough.

It had to be more, Ed wanted more. In desperation, he
hooked his only leg over the back of Roy's and tugged madly on his arm trying
to pull him down, to merge with him, to crawl into his skin. Roy's arms began
to shake and bend at the elbow each time their hips crashed together. His head
was bent and the sweat from his forehead dripped onto Ed's chest, it might as
well have been acid. Ed's vision clouded and he began a chant.

"Colonel, yes, Colonel, please, FUCKING YES, Roy damn
it, PLEASE!" his voice was chaotic and unearthly to him, it seemed unreal to
release it from his throat. Roy threw himself back as Ed wailed unholy denial,
but Roy's lips found his mouth and Ed choked into the rough kiss. His lips then
found his frantically working throat, dragged down his chest and the FUCKER
tongued his navel. He never could goddamn leave it alone... Roy shoved
off with his hands to get lower, bringing them up high and slapping them down
again. He intended to grab Ed by the knees and spread his legs to kingdom come,
but Roy was blind on one side and had no depth perception, and Ed was missing
a knee on the same side. So as a result, Roy's hands hit the sheets and skittered
in opposite directions, making him pitch face first onto the mattress between
Ed's thighs.

Ed could only boggle at him, mouth hanging open. Roy didn't
move for a moment, then he drew his hands up, put them on either side of his
face flat on the bed and pushed himself up slowly. He sat like that on hands
and knees while Ed panted wildly and stared, unable to even laugh at him. No,
Ed was wrong, he could laugh at him and he did, but it came out all garbled
and choked, and he coughed and flailed with his good arm.

Roy sat up on his knees slowly and pointed at him, just
pointed at him, scowling. Then, watching what he was doing, he turned his head,
put his hand on Ed's knee and shoved it, making Ed squawk and flail even more,
but then Roy lowered himself between Ed's thighs, showed him his tongue and
that shut him up real quick, save for a little whine and a little up and down
dance of his eyebrows in an age old ritual of enticement.

Roy licked him and they were off again. Ed reached back
and grabbed the head board with his one hand, threw his leg over Roy's back
and was going to arch, but Roy quickly grabbed his hips. Ed threatened his life,
but it was no good. Roy put his mouth on the end of Ed's cock and held the head
between his lips, just licking the slit and Ed screamed more death threats,
but Roy chuckled evilly and continued. Ed swore that even though he couldn't
bear his children, if Roy ever found anyone WILLING to bear his children, he'd
kill him, but before he did that, he would make sure he couldn't father
the little fuckers!

Roy, acting like the threats had no effect at all, began
to draw Ed into his mouth and throat. Ed was reduced to baby talk gibberish
for awhile and Roy worked him slowly, letting him climb, then backing off. Ed
would make feeble menaces to Roy's person and then fall to broken, stuttered
begging. It was all just perfect, what with Ed's shuddering body, the
smell of his sweat and sex, his voice raw now and his fingers tangled in short
black hair, massaging more than pulling, then he began a gentle tremor. He was
submitting and Roy moved on him more urgently now and Ed, worn down in pleasure,
was allowed to arch, shudder, sob and come.


There was tenderness afterwards; gentle kisses that Ed
didn't shy from because Roy had pleasured him with his mouth, soft touches and
strokes, the press of bodies for contact and comfort for a few moments, and
then Roy whispered softly in his ear. Ed nodded and allowed Roy to roll him,
lift him and put a pillow beneath him.

Sated bliss made Edward soft in all the right ways. He
trembled with beautiful grace underneath Roy's hands as Roy stroked his back,
careful of his wounds. His moans were husky and soft, his poor voice was ragged
from his own completion and he opened with a willingness that was beyond acceptance.
Roy felt dizzy again, because it shouldn't be so perfect, but it was. Oiled
fingers moved in Ed slowly and he showed his appreciation with gentle thrusts
to the pillow under his hips. Finally, Roy moved over him, hands to either side
of Ed's head and Ed leaned and kissed one arm before Roy moved it to line himself
up and press in very slowly, and very gently. He wanted to be tender, even though
his own needs said otherwise. Ed was still tight, still hot and still deep,
and Roy leaned forward until he was buried and knew heaven anew.

The pace was unhurried and Roy wanted to press closer,
but the bandage peeking from between strands of golden hair held him off. He
tilted his head back and let the melody of Edward's moans make love to his ears
as he moved in a rhythm to illicit more. Nothing moved him past this pace, past
this path leading skyward, this gentle rocking motion that both soothed him
and scorched him, leaving his heart aching and filled.

Even as his need heightened, even as his pace inevitably
quickened, the joining was so much more beyond it now, that it was almost (but
not quiet)
secondary. He came with a hoarse cry inside his lover and risked
a quick press to the bandage to kiss sweat-shining shoulders. Edward's sobbed
'I love you' followed him down into the pillows as he withdrew.


A phone was ringing.

Edward grunted against his chest and his fingers dug into
Roy's back. It seemed important for some muzzy reason, when any other time he
would have ignored it. It kept up its merry chime from the recesses of the house
and Roy was just about to completely ignore it when he remembered a promise
he had extracted. Even though his own body protested mightily and Edward sobbed
pitifully, he found himself dashing naked down to his den and snatching up the
receiver.

"Hello?" he was still hoarse and now he sounded breathless.

"General," said the young voice on the other end, uncertain.

"Alphonse," Roy sighed, "on your way back?" he asked.

"Yes, I'll be there soon, anything else I should bring?"
the boy questioned.

Soon meant within an hour and Roy tried to rein in his
disappointment. He wanted to stay in bed with a warm and clinging Edward, they
always seemed fated to have to rush these things.

"No, I..." but then Roy's brain tapped him on the shoulder
and whispered in his ear, "Wait yes, if you wouldn't mind picking up some dinner?"
he asked.

"Oh certainly," Alphonse replied.

"I'm thinking we should treat your brother nicely," Roy
said, "so why don't you get us all a big meal at the Tavern on the Green," he
said.

"That's clear across town," Alphonse hesitated, "and the
wait there is atrocious."

"I know," Roy said sympathetically, "but it's for your
brother," Roy felt just a twinge of guilt, but only a twinge.

"Well," Alphonse wibbled, then, "Ok, for Edward," he said.

"See you in a couple of hours," Roy smiled, "and when
you get here knock loudly, I'm going to take a nap."

"A couple of hours," Alphonse sighed, "and here I thought
I'd given you enough alone time, you must want to cuddle."

"Yes we do," the General started, but then he faltered
and his eye got wide.

"Ok see you then," Alphonse Elric said and hung up the
phone.