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bob fish

Mail Call


"News from home?"

"The usual. Letter from my beautiful girlfriend. Want to see a photo?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"Look!"

"Ah. She's all right."

"All right? You’d take that back if you saw these others. Pretty spectacular, dunno how they got past the army censors — "

"Let's have a look, then-"

"I didn't say you could see them!"

"On second thoughts ... fine."

"Fine? You don't want to see spicy photos of my gorgeous girlfriend?"

"You don't want me to!"

"Well, no — but what's wrong with you? You're a man at war! This is a bee-autiful, scantily-clad girl-“

"Look. If we make it home, and if the poor woman hasn't seen sense, I suppose I'll have to meet her. It'd be nice if I could look her in the eye — "

"Hey! Give-"

"Too slow, my friend. Now ... huh."

"Whaddayameanhuh?”

"It's just ... these pictures aren't actually very spicy."

"WHAT.”

"Well, for a start, she's wearing a swimsuit, Maes. It's even one of those modest ones with little shorts! Now, perhaps, if there'd been a thong involved …"

"You're jealous, my friend!"

"Yes, you've got me. Poor me, I have no marginally arousing photos of my demure, presumably insane girlfriend — ouch! Not the hair!”

"Hahaha, you girl — hey! Get off my beard!"

"-attempted beard-"

"Ah! Okay, I'll let go if you will-"

"Company B, move your lazy asses! The extermination of District 158 is due done today!"

"Ah. Time for work. I'd forgotten."