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bob fish

Driven to Distraction

part 0 of Wrong Turn Universe

"We are so sorry we're late!"

Paninya glanced up as her friends hurried into the restaurant, three quarters of an hour late. When Ed was in town, Winry's timekeeping kind of sucked, but this was impressive even for them. This time, however, Ed was off the hook: he'd brought his hot brother to town with him. So instead of sitting on her own munching on breadsticks, Paninya had got to share a beer with Al and hear some of his stories from Xing. She was about seventy per cent sure he was flirting with her, but then, Al was kind of cheeky with everyone, which made it difficult to tell. Only one way to find out: keep flirting back.

"You got here just in time," said Al, "we were about to order without you. The table was booked for eight o'clock, remember? Did you get lost?" Paninya admired his innocent look. As if he didn't know exactly what was up.

Ed narrowed his eyes. "We're not that late." Then he checked out the clock on the wall behind them. "Huh. I guess we are. Sorry."

"So," said Paninya, trying to sound sincerely confused. "What the hell happened to you guys?"


Well, wasn't this a trip down memory lane? Winry paused in attempting to do up the many fastenings of her new Xingese dress, and admired the view.

With his back to her, Ed was sliding himself into a brand new pair of black leather pants. Wiggle, shuffle, hop. The pants were tight. She remembered that little dance he used to do when he pulled his pants back on after automail tune-ups. It had been so hard not to giggle — and later on, so hard not to stare.

The pants, along with the red coat, hadn't made it back to Resembool after the Promised Day. Ed said they were a casualty of the great battle; Al said they were so stinky after he'd made Ed throw them in the garbage. The pants and the jacket had never been replaced. Over the last year and a bit, it seemed Ed's fashion sense had moved on. Although not so far: his current favourite jacket had a decal on the back of a skull and crossbones, and just before Al's big trip he'd turned up with a tattoo the size of her hand on his left pec.

So Winry had never gotten to appreciate the leather pants in her current position as the person who got to unzip them. She tilted her head. "Those are new."

Ed turned his head and grinned. "Yeah, I didn't have any to go with the shirt from Xing, so I went out and got some. Cool, huh?"

Winry walked over and patted Ed on the butt. "I was thinking hot," she said.

"Yeah?" Ed's grin widened, and he turned to face her. "You too. This dress is really, uh." His hands rested on her hips. Ed's usual verbal articulacy vanished when it came to romance, but he usually made it up with his actions. Plus, he was cute when he was being a big dork.

"It was so sweet of Ling to send this. The material feels amazing, it's got to be scary expensive."

"Huh," said Ed. His fingers skated up her sides.

"Maybe we should visit Xing too. Sounds like Al had a great time."

Ed snorted and rolled his eyes. "Oh, yeah. He's got some good travel stories, I'll tell you that much." Ah, so Al had got some action in Xing? Good for Al. Winry bet he'd made sure to tell Ed those stories on the train for maximum embarrassment factor.

Ed reached the catches that ran diagonally up the front of the high-collared dress. Briskly, he undid a couple and peeled down the fitted front of the dress. He cupped Winry's right breast in his hand and leaned down to flick his tongue across her nipple. "Easy access. I like it."

Winry reached down, palmed Ed's crotch and wiggled her eyebrows. "Shame we can't say the same thing about the pants."

Ed shifted his hips forward a bit. "Nah," he said, "these are actually fine. I mean, I'm not gonna buy a pair of pants if it's gonna take me five minutes to get my junk out to pee, I mean, I'd look like a dumbass, and —" He trailed off and looked down.

Winry laughed and looked up at him from where she'd sunk to her knees. Ed laughed back. She bet he thought she was just kidding around and they were going to be out the door in two minutes. Well, he'd see. She put her hand to the top button and flipped it open, then did the same to the rest. Then she reached her fingers inside Ed's boxers and popped him out through the slit. He was hardening already.

"Win," he said half-heartedly. "We're gonna be late to meet everyone."

She stuck her tongue out and just touched the point to the tip of his cock. "We'll be quick," she said, fairly confident of her bargaining power right now.

"'Kay!" Ed nodded breathlessly, grinning like a loon, and rapidly growing fully erect.

Winry got to work, drawing his cock into her mouth and moving her hand up in reverse time. As she worked him over, she cupped his butt with her free hand. Damn, those pants fitted him nicely. She thought of her virginal teenage self a couple of years back. Some nights she'd dream of Ed dying, and other nights she'd dream of him inside her. Both ways she'd wake up sweating.

"Winry " Ed's hand tightened on her shoulder. "Can we move to the bed?"

She let him go, with a deliberate little pop. He laughed, stumbled to the bed and flopped down on it on his back. Wiggle, shuffle, hop. Now he was doing the leather pants wiggle dance again on his back, trying to fumble them down while his cock bounced.

Winry giggled; Ed tutted. "Help me out! This is uncomfortable!"

She took pity on him, bounced onto the bed and helped him work the pants off. She tossed them over her shoulder with the satisfying sense of an ambition fulfilled, then sent his boxers the same way. Ed dived for the catches of her half-undone dress, but she managed to hold him off. There was no way this particular dress was getting ripped.

The catches were undone; the dress sailed off to land on top of the leather pants. Winry straddled Ed on her knees. He made a beeline for her boobs, as usual: cupping them, nosing between them, licking each nipple in turn until it stood up. Winry scraped her short nails down his back and he wriggled with delight, and slipped a couple of fingers in between her legs. "Condoms," he muttered. "Shit, I think I left them in the bag downstairs."

"Oh, dammit!" Winry squeezed her eyes shut. "I was going to pick some up at the pharmacy while we were out tonight. I could throw some clothes on and run downstairs to the shop to get your bag?"

Ed groaned. "Mr Garfiel's gonna know what we're doing!" As if he didn't know already. Winry sometimes found it best to let Ed continue fooling himself about how much Mr Garfiel knew about his love life.

"We could do other stuff?" said Winry. She so didn't want to bicker about going downstairs — but she so wanted Ed inside her right this minute. "I could suck you again, we could have another go at a sixty-nine?"

Ed made a sceptical noise. "That position's a crock. The angle was weird, and I had a crick in my neck for like, two days."

"We could try it with more pillows — oh, hey wait!" Winry leapt off the bed and grabbed her purse. Yes! She had been right. She held aloft the emergency condom she'd stashed in there on New Year's Eve. On the bed, Ed sat up on his knees and pumped both fists in the air as if he'd just scored a winning goal. Winry hurried over with the condom. She opened it up carefully — the new disposable type were awesome, but all too easy to mistreat. She rolled it over Ed's cock and pushed him down so he was sitting on his heels. Then she climbed on top of him, lined him up and sank slowly down.

Winry planted her toes on the bed and bounced, her hands on Ed's shoulders. Ed supported a little of her weight with his hands at her butt, and nuzzled at her breasts as they started getting into a rhythm.

It was Ed's habit to treat her gently; it sometimes took a little coaxing to get him to step things up a notch. Ed's grip on her butt tightened and he thrust his hips up. "More, yeah?" Winry muttered.

Ed nodded, but Winry deliberately didn't speed up. "Sorry, I'm trying," she said. "My ankles kind of hurt." It was mostly true.

Ed's face was flushed dark; she could see he was entering the sex haze. His grip tightened again on her ass. She put her hands on his shoulders and swung herself back so that his hands on her butt were supporting more of her weight. That was all the encouragement he needed; he bore forwards and Winry's feet left the bed. Success! She lifted her legs higher into the air, and he took her whole weight in his arms, went up on his knees a little, and began to thrust hard and deep.

After that, all Winry did was hang on for dear life. When Ed went for it, he really went for it. It had been worth every bit of effort to convince him she wasn't as breakable as he thought. He grunted and shook against her as he climaxed. Then he looked at her with a dopey little grin, and shifted his hold on her so he could work a hand between her legs to tease at her clit with clever fingers. It did not take long. Her orgasm built rapidly and then swept over her with crashing force.

Afterwards, her limbs were jelly. Gentle once more, Ed lowered her onto her back and eased out of her, one hand to the condom. After he left the room to flush it and wash up, Winry sat up and ran a hand through her hair. It was, of course, kind of a mess now. She guessed she'd just comb it out and leave it down now; there probably wasn't time to pin it up. What time was it now anyway?

Winry looked over at her alarm clock on the nightstand. Wait, it was forty minutes past eight?


They'd finally reached the restaurant. It could have been worse; at least they weren't a full hour late. Al and Paninya were clearly visible inside, chatting away at a booth by the window. It was sweet but kind of ominous how well those two were getting on. You could probably power a small town off their combined cheekiness.

Winry put a hand to Ed's shoulder before they got close enough to be spotted. "By the way," she said, "just so you know, I do remember what day it is today." She hadn't said anything; Ed was Ed and he usually liked to mark this anniversary in his own way, which generally involved not talking about it. In fact, October 3rd usually found Ed quiet and reflective; impromptu sex and noisy restaurants weren't his usual approach.

Ed looked her in the eye. He was flushed from the sex and the brisk walk, and as usual he had no clue he was beautiful. "I wasn't too mopey today, was I?"

"Actually, I kind of meant the opposite. I'm just checking in." She bumped his shoulder. "If this is what you feel like doing today, it's cool with me."

Ed wound an arm around her waist, and looked over to the restaurant window. In their booth, Al and Paninya were pretending to sword fight with breadsticks. Al bit the end off Paninya's bread, and then they both collapsed in inaudible laughter. Ed turned back to her. His smile was huge, and it went all the way up to his eyes. "You know — actually, this is totally what I feel like doing today."

As usual, Ed had his own way of going about things; and as usual, once she saw it, she got it.

He kissed her on the forehead; she leaned her cheek against his shoulder. Then they headed in.