velvet mace


"Well, here we are." Manga!Ed crossed his arms and looked dubiously at the bed. It was wide and cushy and perfect for a nap, but Manga!Ed knew he wasn't going to get much sleep in it. "You, me, and no plot worth to speak of, in a twenty-first century hotel room. You know, this is why I hate metafic so much, it doesn't even pretend to hold to canon."

"Oh?" Anime!Ed finished closing the heavy curtains. "Actually, I was just thinking that this setting is a hell of a lot nicer than most of the ones I've been forced to do it in. Usually I'm stuck in this tiny bed. You know what mattresses in Munich are made of? Straw." Anime!Ed wandered over to the desk and picked up the stationary left behind. "Hilton," he read absentmindedly.

"Well at least you GOT a bed. Straw is better than the roof-tops and warehouse floors I've been put on. Or over a desk. I hate desk sex. If the edge isn't jammed into my bladder, then my tailbone's getting bruised." Manga!Ed pressed down on the bed, and down, and down, then released. The mattress sprang back up again. "You know it's a good thing I heal almost immediately, because otherwise I'd be so sore, I'd never get anywhere in the story."

Anime!Ed turned back to bed, unfastened the arm garter and began one handedly unbuttoning his white shirt. "Straw isn't as comfy as it sounds. Especially not when you've got 175 pounds of Alter!Al driving you into it. And besides, I've been flipped over the desk quite a few times myself."

Manga!Ed threw himself onto the bed that was literally wider than it was long. And bounced. "Fuck, I think this mattress is on springs!" He climbed up to his feet and jumped a few times. Then tucked up into a ball and did a flip, landing comfortably, if not entirely gracefully on his back.

Anime!Ed finished undressing and considered his Manga twin. The boy was younger than him by a few years, his face a bit rounder, and his eyes a lot crosser looking. To be honest, though neither of them were ugly by any means, when it came to handing out looks, the Powers That Be had favored Anime!Ed.

Even better, Anime!Ed was a whole three inches taller than his manga counterpart. This innate superiority of height and the rules of shipping meant that FINALLY, Anime!Ed would get to top. Anime!Ed smiled his best predatory smile at the thought.

Manga!Ed noticed the look. "Oh no." He pointed down at his still fully clothed crotch. "See this. This is an OUTIE."

"I'm taller, and older."

"I'm meaner. And I get to swear."

"That hasn't stopped you from dropping your pants every time Ling looked sideways at you." Anime!Ed looked smug.

"I NEVER!" exclaimed Manga!Ed flushing.

"Oh don't deny it," Anime!Ed smiled smugly. "I've read the manga. There is so much subtext there."

"Well, okay," said Manga!Ed, "So I've had a few romps with the Emperor-to-be, but there is also a TON of subtext pairing me and Winry, too, which at least makes me bi. I've seen the subtext in the anime, you have "fuck me, boys" written in neon over your head, and don't tell me Armor!Al was the uke!"

This time Anime!Ed blushed.

The argument was stopped by an almost tentative knock.

Both Ed's stared at the heavy hotel room door (complete with elaborate instructions on what to do in case of a fire pasted on the side). Anime!Ed looked at Manga!Ed. "Were you expecting someone else?

"No!" Manga Ed replied.

"I hope it's not Mustang!" said Anime!Ed

"I hope it's not Ling!" said Manga!Ed simultaneously.

The door opened slowly and a blond head poked in. "Um… Hi. Is this Edward Elric's Room?" A younger version of Anime!Ed cautiously stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. "I guess so."

"Who the fuck are you?" asked Manga!Ed.

Anime!Ed slapped his hand against his face. "I know who he is. Come on in, more the merrier. I guess this is going to be a threesome." Anime!Ed put an arm around the smaller, wider-eyed, shorter haired version of himself, who simply stared at the naked man next to him with something akin to shock on his face. "Manga!Ed, I'd like to introduce you to Alter!Ed."

Manga!Ed rolled onto his stomach. "Hi. This is the guy you briefly possessed, right? In episode 47?"

"Um… yeah," said Alter!Ed. He looked pale and terrified. "Is this going to hurt?"

Manga!Ed looked over the Alter speculatively. "He definitely looks like an innie."

Alter!Ed looked down at himself briefly. "Is my belly button important? I… I've never done this before, or, you know, even heard of, um…" he blushed. "How – you know – sex—how?"

"It's okay, we'll show you the ropes." Anime!Ed felt guilty, "Listen, Alter!Ed, before we do anything, I just want to say, I'm really sorry for… you know, taking you over and getting you killed."

Alter!Ed's brows were frozen upward. "It's… it's okay, I guess. You two have lived pretty tough lives. Compared to that college wasn't that big a deal. And you know, getting hit by the zeppelin wasn't too bad, as far as ways to die go."

Manga!Ed quirked up his eyebrows. "Well, I don't feel guilty at all. Come over here. None of us is getting out of here until the Author has satisfied her kink of seeing a bunch of Ed's getting it on. Time's wasting." Manga!Ed kicked off his boots and began doffing his clothes, gracelessly tossing them in random directions.

Alter!Ed said. "I'm in no hurry. Now that I'm dead, I guess I won't have to worry about studying for finals anymore." For the first time he smiled.

Anime!Ed shrugged. "I got nothing planned. I've already completed my mission in life. Other than seducing human!Al, I really can't think of anything better to do."

Manga!Ed growled. "Yeah, well I HAVEN'T finished my mission in life and I don't got all day. If you folks haven't noticed, I'm up to my ass in plot, and taking an afternoon to get it on with myselves ain't forwarding anything." With an off hand gesture, Manga!Ed pointed to Alter!Ed. "Virgin-me, over here. Right now."

"Oh," said Alter!Ed. "Well, I guess." He walked over to the bed and then sat down on the corner, looking stiff, with his hands folded, primly, or perhaps protectively in his lap. His eyes were wide as saucers and his lips caught in smile that screamed petrified terror.

Manga!Ed pointed to Anime!Ed "Uber-uke, get useful. Get his shoes, I'll get the shirt."

Anime!Ed paused just long enough to shake his head but then went down on his knees to help Alter!Ed out of his clothes. Manga!Ed slid in behind the alter until the boy sat in the v of his open thighs. He reached forward and yanked the kid's shirt out of his pants, then went to work on the buttons.

"This is… you guys seem kind of … ha! Oh!" Alter!Ed gasped as Manga!Ed's fingers slid under his shirt and paused to gently pinch a nipple. "That, uh, oooooooooh." Anime!Ed unzipped his alter's pants and then paused to pull the boy's cock and balls out. "I think you've done this before," Alter!Ed managed to say.

Anime!Ed and Manga!Ed spontaneously laughed. "Don't worry," said Anime!Ed tenderly, "We'll take good care of you."

"Yeah," said Manga!Ed. "Really good care." He mouthed the alter's bare neck, sliding his cool automail hand through the short cropped hair. The boy shuddered under his touch.

"Well, gosh," said Alter!Ed. "That's quite—ugh-gug-guh!"

Manga! Ed leaned forward and breathed into Alter!Ed's ear, tracing the tip of his tongue around the outer shell before sucking the lobe into his mouth.

Before Alter!Ed could hope to form a coherent sentence, Anime!Ed wrapped his automail arm around his waist, and used his real hand to guide the boy's half-hardened cock into his mouth.

Alter!Ed arched backwards against Manga!Ed, his eyes wide open and staring at some point about twenty million miles beyond the popcorn ceiling.

Anime!Ed relished his power over his alter. With every moist stroke of his tongue over the now hot and turgid flesh, he coaxed high little whimpers from the boy's throat. Almost immediately Alter!Ed reached for him, lacing both soft natural hands through Anime!Ed's long bound hair. The anime understood exactly what the tight, jerking thrusts of the alter's hips meant, but chose to ignore them for the moment, in order to pay detailed attention to every fold and bump of his younger, more innocent self's penis. He paid special attention to the spongy tip before winding his way, with lazy slow licks over the frenulum and then in meandering spiral around to the base.

Anime!Ed nuzzled the scrotum. He took a moment to drag his teeth gently across the soft pale skin of the kid's inner thighs, feeling the short curls scratch against his cheeks, then he went to work on the balls themselves, pushing them about with his tongue before drawing them, one at a time into his mouth.

Manga!Ed had by this time completely forgotten the time pressures. Watching his older (more uke) counterpart tease and torment his rather undercharacterized historical counterpart was enough to make all blood flee his brain. Pleasantly drunk with need, he began rubbing and sliding his cock against the small of the other's back.

It wasn't nearly enough, and it didn't take much of this tormenting before Manga!Ed was ready to move on to the next stage. "Hey, let's get him all the way on the bed. I wanna fuck him."

"Fu—" managed Alter!Ed, but he had no strength or brainpower to oppose his two other selves when the pulled him up onto his hands and knees in the middle of the oversized bed. Anime!Ed snuggled in under his stomach, and went back to apoligizing for his trespasses. The alter accepted his penance with occasional random syllables mixed in with gasps and whines.

This left Manga!Ed to worry about the more practical problems of preparing a virgin hole for a vigorous reaming. Unlike his counterpart, he wasn't overly worried about the boy. After all, cushy life or not, he was still an Elric, or at least an Edward. And if he and Anime!Ed could withstand fists, swords, and automail surgery without so much as a scream, this soft counterpart should be able to take cock without much trouble.

"EEE!" squeeled Alter!Ed the moment Manga!Ed slid the first thoroughly lubed finger in. "What are you doing back there?"

"What do you think I'm doing?"

"I – I have no idea, but it feels really strange, and I wish you'd stop."

Manga!Ed began to wonder if his alter version had even heard how men had sex with other men. Really, just how ignorant were European boys in the twenties? Did no one ever teach them the birds and the bees? "Just relax, it's all part of the fun."

Anime!Ed let go of the alter's cock long enough to pet his back. "Trust us. It's good. Besides it appears to be part of the script."

"Okay," said Alter!Ed doubtfully. "You've both done this before. I guess I should trust you."

"Um…" said Anime!Ed and then went back to assuaging his guilt with his mouth.

Alter!Ed grew rather quiet while Manga!Ed finished preparing him, which was just as well, because the manga character wasn't immune to guilt, and he didn't really want this turning into non-con.

And yet at the same time, if he didn't do something soon, his own cock threatened to turn blue and fall off. He lubed himself up thoroughly with the clear liquid the author had thoughtfully and very prominently left on the nightstand. It was good stuff, very slick but not greasy. He'd have to analyze it alchemically before he left the hotel so that he could replicate it for next time he and Greedling decided to … er … privately wrestle.

Finally he lined himself up, proud of his own self-restraint and pushed ever so gradually in.

Alter!Ed wasn't sure what he'd gotten himself into. On the one hand sex with his Amestrian Alter was, simply put, the most incredibly amazing feeling he'd ever experienced in his entire life, what the Manga-him was up to was perhaps one of the most uncomfortable things he'd ever considered. He was torn between the two sensations, being mouthed and being stretched. Tightness and fullness. He supposed that it was only fair that he paid out for what he got in.

Gradually, and rather surprisingly, he began to get used to both sensations. He had been damn close to coming before Manga!Ed started playing with his butt, and now he was able to ignore what was going on behind and really concentrate on what was going on in front, and a moment after that, he hit the point of no return.

Anime!Ed choked, but recovered quickly, greedily drinking down what the alter gave. In a moment the sensation of being sucked and laved and swallowed went from being heaven to being too much. "Enough," he was able to gasp out as he attempted to pull away. Manga!Ed held him in place.

Luckily Anime!Ed seemed to understand, and with one reluctant, and far too sensitizing suck he let go of Alter!Ed's cock and moved up to kiss him.

It had been a long time since Anime!Ed lost his virginity. So long in fact that he didn't honestly remember what it felt like. Still he could see the kid, while being valiantly game, was still a bit over his head. Anime!Ed took it upon himself to soothe the boy and distract him with kisses while the Manga version finished up. Which considering the kid's age and temperament, shouldn't take long.

Alter!Ed clung to Anime!Ed's shoulders, kissing his neck and shoulders hungrily. Anime!Ed adjusted himself to support the alter, holding him still against his twin's rhythmic thrusting. It was no small feat with the too soft mattress amplifying every bump, but Anime!Ed found that he could wrap both his arms under the other's armpits and hold him, chest to chest, and the three of them moved together as one.

Anime!Ed breathed in his alter's warm gasps, his lips found the soft flesh of a cheek and then slid until his mouth fastened on the others. Alter!Ed kissed back, clumsily, moistly, desparately. Although the situation was terribly contrived, Anime!Ed found himself greatful that he had been allowed to see and hold this other him, to finally give back to him some small something in return for the enormous gift the other had given to him.

Ed was momentarily overwhelmed by guilt as he thought of the sheer unfairness that had robbed the Alter of his life before the young man had really had a chance to do anything. Manga!Ed and Anime!Ed had both lived lives filled with adventures and heroics, Alter!Ed had nothing but the hope that at some point in the future he would attain some greatness. The sheer potential lost hurt more than anything else.

Manga!Ed noticed Anime!Ed looking pensively off into space and felt a creeping annoyance that almost but did not quite drown out his lust. The twit was angsting again, he knew it. Wasn't their life punishing enough without wallowing in self-condemnation? And fuck it, they were FUCKING here. This was supposed to be fun.

Ignore him, Manga!Ed told himself. Just be glad I'm more sensible.

Putting his mind back to the matter at hand, which was, ironically enough, a back under his hand, Manga!Ed gave into complete, hedonistic enjoyment. His protestation aside, Manga!Ed didn't get to top as often as he would like. Ed chalked that up to always picking selfish, macho, mostly heterosexual men as partners – well that and his Armored brother who really didn't have a choice. But Manga!Ed was reasonably sure that Al would be willing to bottom at least half the time once Manga!Ed got his body back. Which he really should be working on right now rather than dallying with his counterparts?

And why was he thinking about this? No. Male thoughts. Grunt. Mmm. Feels good. Really good. Hot and tight and squelchy and yeah, Manga!Ed on top of the world.

Manga!Ed let out a hissing, "Yesssssss! Take that!" Then collapsed forward over Alter!Ed's back in a rather good imitation of bonelessness.

For a moment the three of them just relaxed, then suddenly Alter!Ed perked up. "Uh… gotta go," he said, and half limped-half ran to the bathroom.

Manga!Ed yawned. Damn this bed was comfy. Like sinking into warm pudding… so very… nice… drifting off, now…

"Ack!" Manga!Ed cried out as he felt someone seized his ankles and pulled. He clutched vainly at the orange flower-print coverlet, succeeding only in dragging it with him. He looked back over his shoulder and saw Anime!Ed not looking in the least bit pensive or introspective. Eventually he found himself bent over the end of the bed, with the weight of Anime!Ed's cock pressing against the cleft of his ass.

"My turn!" said the anime character, cheerfully.

Manga!Ed tried to get his sated head to form a coherent reply, but the only thing out of his mouth was "I'm down! Give me fifteen."

The other ignored him. "Well, I guess this answers the argument," said Anime!Ed grabbing the bottle of lube off the mattress and poured some on his fingers. "I so top you."

"Not fair," protested Manga!Ed. "You decoyed me! If Alter!Ed hadn't been here, I'd have taken you on, and – oh god, yeah, fuck."

Anime!Ed grinned ferociously, wiggling his fingers for a second before pulling them out. "Yeah, you like it. For someone who claims he always top, you uke like a champ."

"Can't a guy like it both ways?" protested Manga!Ed. "Okay, go ahead. Just know that this doesn't prove ANYTHING."

After taking only a moment to admire the lube and wonder if perhaps he could sneak the rest of the bottle back Germany, Anime!Ed pressed slickly in where, apparently a lot of others had gone before. Manga!Ed recovered his strength quickly and within moments proved that even from the bottom, he was a take charge kind of character. He bucked and rocked, pressing his feet into the shag carpet and pushing off from the bed with his arms. Pretty soon it was all Anime!Ed could do to keep from being shoved backwards on his ass.

"Whoa, there, calm down!" Anime!Ed pushed his manga counterpart forward until he reluctantly put a knee on the mattress, from that point Anime!Ed was able to pin him down. As something of a consolation prize, the anime version reached around with his human hand gave Manga!Ed a hand job.

Sadly all things come to an end, and even at eighteen, Anime!Ed's stamina for this sort of thing wasn't limitless. He milked the experience to the very last moment, and finally, reluctantly withdrew.

"Next time," said Manga!Ed, as he got off the bed and headed to the bathroom, "I top."

Anime!Ed nodded. "Sure." He then crawled into the center of the enormous bed and fell asleep to the sound of the shower.