"Fuck," said Ed, "Man, I've been waiting a lifetime for this. I finally shut you up, you bastard."
Roy rolled his eyes and snorted softly through his nose. He'd have objected with his mouth if it hadn't been rather overstuffed with his gloves, which, now that he thought about it, tasted a bit like the spaghetti sauce he had for lunch. Mmm. He'd need to wash them.
He tested his bonds again, but they were firm. What had once been a rather elegant leather upholstered couch was now approximately twenty feet of cording, whipped around his arms, legs and torso.
Ed rubbed his hands. "So," he said. "You dare insult my size, Mustang. I'd have figured a smart guy like you would know better than to talk about something you know NOTHING about. But I'm just as happy to give you a practical demonstration."
Roy, who had been snorting softly, suddenly stopped and quirked up his brows.
"You think I'm so small, huh. Well, look at this."
Roy watched him undo his zipper and pull out something that was decidedly not small at all. He suddenly wondered if maybe he'd made something of a tactical mistake. Sure he wanted to get into Ed's pants, but he figured the price wouldn't be such a ... big deal.
Ed clapped his hands again and Roy felt distinctly cold in his nether regions.
"Just remember, " said Ed. "You made this bed. It's time to get screwed in it."