When Ed got home, the first thing he did was throw himself onto the bed with his hand over his eyes to block the light.

The second thing he thought to do was kick off his boots.

"Bad day, Niisan?" Al asked sympathetically.

"Don't get me started," Ed growled. "Two rape scenes and a cutting fic. Gah!"

"Oh no," Al said, aghast. "I thought we got done with cutting fics ages ago!"

Ed grimaced, as he reluctantly unpeeled his face from his elbow and sat up. "Eh, it could have been worse," he said, and rubbed his arm. "My arm itches, but it's no worse than that."

Al sat down on the bed beside his brother. "But those rape fics still bother me, Niisan," he said. "I wish you didn't have to do those."

"You wish? Don't you think I wish?" Ed made a face. "But it pays the bills. And it's not all that complicated. I go in, the other guy knocks me around, I make sure to cry and beg a lot, we fuck, I go home. Easy work. At least it's not exactly backbreaking."

"Yet," Al commented.

Ed winced. "Geez, give them ideas, will you?"

"I don't like the jobs you go on solo," Al said unhappily. "I like the ones where we go together better."

"Aw, me too, Al," Ed grinned, and patted his arm. "They're more fun. Well, not always, but at least I have you to keep me company even if we're not doing anything."

Al pulled his feet up on the bed and wrapped his arms around his knees. "I don't like it when we have to fight."

"Well, it's all part of the job description, huh Al?" Ed said, trying to cheer his younger brother up. He looked around the bright, airy bedroom. "It's got its perks. At least we get a nice place of our own. I hear over in Gundam Wing they get stuck in dorm rooms all the time."

"Or safe houses," Al agreed. "At least when they're on missions."

"Speaking of missions," Ed said, and made a face. "What's on the list for tomorrow, Al? I want to know how drunk I'm going to deserve getting on the weekend."

"Well, let's see. You're down for a Faulty Wish fic with Kaltia—"

Ed groaned and pulled a pillow over his head. "Not again already! I like it better when they're being lazy."

"—contracts with lykomancer and velvet mace—"

"Fuck! Al, I thought I told you I'm not taking jobs with them any more!"

"—Anax wants you in early for the new chapter of Voluspa—"

A piteous moan from under the pillow.

"—and then we're both down for Asidian in the evening."

The pillow shifted aside, and a wary gold eye peeked out. "Asidian?" Ed said, his voice somewhere between wary and hopeful. "It's not a multi-part, is it?"

"Doesn't say." Al consulted his list. "The memo says 'wear clothes you can climb trees in.' "

"Both of us?" Ed grinned, pushing the pillow aside completely. "Well, that doesn't sound too bad."

"That's all for tomorrow, though," Al said, putting the list aside and giving his brother a long look. "In the meantime, we can find something to do..."

Ed blinked, then his eyes widened in surprise. "Al, are you coming on to me?" he asked in astonishment.

"Well—why not?" Al said, his voice a little hurt. "You never minded before."

"Of course I don't, Al, but we get enough of that on jobs. We're off camera now, can't we just relax?" Ed whined, reclining back again.

"Off-camera?" Al said in surprise. "You mean you didn't know whose page we're in right now? We've got a contract with her tonight, Niisan!"

"Huh?" Ed shot bolt upright, looking around wildly. Then his eyes widened.

"Shit! AL! We are so SCREWED!"