"No cigarettes in bed," Roy told Havoc, although he couldn't quite bring the proper severity into his face. In fact, it was difficult enough to keep the smug grin from overtaking his face completely.
Havoc looked contrite, reaching out one long arm to stub the offending cigarette out on the ashtray on the nightstand before returning to drape heavily over Roy's shoulder. "Sorry, Colonel," he said, and nibbled lightly on Roy's shoulder in apology. Roy gave an appreciative sigh. On his other side, Hawkeye snorted softly in disapproval.
"Don't 'Colonel' him," she said severely. "You should address him by his proper rank."
Lazily, Roy tucked his fingers under her chin and lifted her face towards his. Her eyes were half-closed with bliss, which was just right, for landing in bed with him, Roy thought. He kept his eyes on her face as he closed in to kiss her, slowly but thoroughly.
Havoc made a small leaky noise. "No kisses for me?" he demanded tragically, and Roy slanted him an amused glance.
"Not with that mouth that's just been smoking," he said. "If you have a craving, you can get down there and start sucking."
"Do I have to?" Havoc sighed, although he didn't sound particularly unwilling.
"Consider it proper punishment for addressing me by the wrong rank. After all, I am Fuhrer now."
A disparaging noise came from the foot of the bed, and Roy lifted his eyes from an intent study of Hawkeye's very engrossing breasts to see Edward Elric pushing himself up on his elbows, freeing his upper body from the clutching grasp of his brother. "Fuhrer my ass," Edward said thickly. "He's still nothing but a perverted old man."
Next to him, Winry hummed agreement, turning over on her side and stretching in a most delectable fashion while she yawned, flashing pearly white teeth before closing her mouth and blinking open her eyes. "He really is," she said in a tone of sleepy agreement.
"I didn't think you objected." Roy lifted one eyebrow, shifting back a little against the headboard so he could prop himself higher and get a better view. There was Havoc, working his way down Roy's side, and on his shoulder Hawkeye had fallen to leaving deep but pleasurable kisses on his neck. And there at the foot of the bed were the two Elric brothers and Winry Rockbell, as well, like a tangle of blond kittens. Well—extremely naughty, sweaty, mussed-looking blond kittens.
"Hell no," Ed said, grinning wickedly. "But hey, the great Roy Mustang never does anything by halves, and that includes being a complete and total pervert."
"It's one of his charms," Hawkeye said, and breathed in his ear in a way that made Roy shiver deliciously.
"It's not even enough that you're bisexual," Ed went on, "but no, you have to have a voyeurism fetish, too."
"I beg your pardon, Fullmetal?" Roy wasn't really paying attention, though, because Havoc had reached his destination and was now draped over his hips and doing absolutely sinful things with his mouth. Roy shut his eyes with a groan, and then opened them at Ed's sultry laugh. Ed was leaning over, now, hand ghosting down his sleeping brother's gorgeous young body.
"Mmm. Cut it out," Alphonse said sleepily, and Winry laughed as she flopped down next to him. "Wake up, Al," she said cheerfully, and the boy grudgingly opened his bronze eyes and turned his head, wrinkling his nose quite attractively.
"You like to watch, don't you, Fuhrer?" Ed whispered, and leaned down to capture Al's mouth in a kiss. Roy moaned, feeling himself get harder just looking, at those two sexy blonde heads clustered together. And then Hawkeye's long golden hair draped over his chest, and Havoc's short spiky head between his legs, and everywhere he looked there were blonds, blondes, and he could lose himself in enjoying it completely—
A shrill claxon split the air of the hazy room, suddenly, and the dim lights went suddenly red.
Hawkeye reminded herself, once again, that patience was a virtue. "Even so, Colonel," she said, managing to keep her voice level, "even if the alarm clock was a traitor to the country and the government, it still deserved a fair court-martial and execution, rather than simply being dragged out into the street and shot like that."
"Some things just can't be forgiven, Lieutenant," Mustang said shortly. And that was all she got out of him for the rest of the day.