House Rules

"I'm too young to die," Ed babbled. "I'm only sixteen years old and I'm going to die, oh God, there's so much I still wanted to do with my life! I wanted to get a University degree! I wanted to fall in love! I wanted to punch Mustang in the face!"

"You already did," Al pointed out, from the opposite corner of the room.

"Yes, but I wanted to do it again!" Ed whimpered, tugging fruitlessly at the chains. "Al, save me! How can you let them do this to me? Your only older brother?"

"House rules poker, Nii-san," Al reminded him. "You knew what the penalty was if they caught you cheating, and you did it anyway. This is your just desserts."

Ed cast a terrified look over at the far wall, where Armstrong was getting ready. "I didn't know it was going to be Armstrong! A night of kinky BDSM would be fine if it was anyone else but not Armstrong! Al, have you seen the size of his whip? I'm going to die!"

"Now, Niisan!" Al scolded. "Have a little more faith in the Major. I'm sure he has more control over it than that!"

"Indeed I do!" Armstrong finished his preparations and straightened up, voice booming out in the small stone room—(of course, the part of Ed's mind that wasn't petrified with fear said, the Armstrong mansion would contain a dungeon) and smiling jovially as he shook out a bullwhip longer than Ed from head to toe. "Have no fear, you will come to no (permanent) harm! My technique is impeccable! Be honored, for you are about to witness the Armstrong Family Passionate S&M Technique, handed down from father to son over generations and generations..."

He was sparkling. He was making the leather sparkle. Black leather straps and pink sparkles. Ed writhed in the chains, desperately trying to cover his eyes with his hands—or possibly claw them out—but to no avail. "No. Stop. Please, stop. Oh god, please make it stop!"

Armstrong smiled and nodded, mustache bouncing as he tested the whip against his hand. "You see? You are begging for mercy already and I haven't even yet begun! Feel the power of my generational mastery!"

Ed gurgled. "Mother... I can see you on the other side of a wide river..."

Al settled himself patiently in the corner to watch. He'd better stay to make sure nothing got out of hand.

Of course, that was the only reason. The chance to see Ed in that sexy little outfit Mustang and the others had forced him into had nothing to do with it.

Absolutely nothing.