Envy’s Day Out

It was fun impersonating the Fullmetal Alchemist. Envy had to admit, Edward Elric's body was convenient for maneuvering around the people in a crowd. Not that the Fullmetal runt would ever accept the perks of being small. Being small, which meant often mistaken for a girl, or a 12-year old boy. Which meant free food in a marketplace if he acted cutely enough. Not that he needed to eat in the firstplace. But it would be amusing to watch the Fullmetal brat get worked up over being treated like a child, if the brat ever decided to shop there. Ah, the joys of being a shape-shifter.There was one person he couldn't fool though, the violent automail mechanic; Envy strained to remember her name, oh yes... Winry Rockbell.It was one of the worst decisions of his entire lifetime (while impressive, he wasn't immortal as humans thought); to infiltrate East City Headquarters, disguised as the Fullmetal kid. Envy ran into her as he was trying to sneak into the Elrics' (locked) room. He was picking the lock with a hairpin when she spotted him.Winry, being Winry, saw a chance to tease who she saw was Ed. "Oh?" She sidled up to him. "The genius National Alchemist can't even open a door?" She took out a screwdriver from her tool belt. "Step aside. I'll do it."Envy sighed in relief. "Thank you."Big mistake.Winry waved the screwdriver, taking care to direct the pointed end at the disguised Envy. "What did you say?""I said thank you. So what?""Ed never says 'thank you.' He will yell something like, 'WHO'S SO HELPLESS LIKE A LITTLE BABY, A BABY WHO COULDN'T EVEN TURN A KNOB?' and lose his temper. Then, he'd break down the door with Alchemy.""Uh, I was trying to be nice?""Or you couldn't use alchemy at all, couldn't you? Imposter?"She reached into her belt and took out her favorite wrench.

"EEEYAGH! Dammit, Lust! How many times do I have to tell you it won't come out?"Lust shrugged. "It was worth a try."Envy looked into the mirror and gave an experimental tug at the metal embedded in his head. "It's stuck on the bone sutures... she has good aim. I couldn't get it out, so when I came to, it kinda fused itself...""Can't be helped." Lust elongated her fingernails. "Sorry but you have to die for a few seconds.""Huh? Waitamin-" he was stopped in mid-sentence as his skull was split and his vital functions ceased... and came back to life again. "Fuck youuu..." He slurred as his head started reconstructing itself."Not in front of Gluttony." She replied, examining the wrench she pulled out of Envy's head. She whistled in appreciation. "Nice model, titanium grip, diamond dust for traction... I need to get one of these. They are actually useful in silencing you.""Shut up, you old hag."