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Felis Domesticus


"What is this?"

"The common house cat. Felis domesticus. Also known as Felis silvestris catus..."

"I didn't ask that, Warrant Officer Farman."

"My apologies, First Lieutenant."

Hawkeye strode into her commanding officer's office and spoke to him, as she collected the finished paperwork. "Colonel, if I may ask... what is a cat, to be more precise, a kitten doing in the office?"

"It's Alphonse-kun's." Roy Mustang said, signing the last release order with a flourish. "I promised I would take care of it until they came back."

"Which is today?"

"Yes." Mustang rose from behind his desk. "As a matter of fact, I'm going to meet them now. Will you come with me, First Lieutenant?"

Hawkeye saluted briskly. "Yes sir.


Edward Elric could have sworn that his brother was making weird noises all throughout the train ride. Strange, meowing and purring noises to be exact.

He let out a resigned sigh. "Al, how many?"

"Eh? What are you talking about, Nii-san?"

Meow~

If armor could sweat, Al was definitely sweating now; Ed dryly observed.


Mustang stared when the Al had removed the breastplate of the armor (in the privacy of his office). He glanced at the kitten purring in his arms and at the empty insides of the suit of armor. Only it wasn't emptly anymore. He could clearly see several writhing bodies inside. Cats. More cats.

"Err... Alphonse-kun..."

"Don't worry." The little-boy voice assured him. "Just put him inside with the others."

"But... the... cats..."

"They seem to like it in there, anyway." Ed interrupted, scratching one of the cats behind the ear. "And besides..." He broke into a huge grin.

"Besides, what?" Hawkeye just had to ask.

"They're our Secret Weapons." Al said proudly.


Meanwhile... in a secret base, deep under Central City...

"AAACHOO!!!" Envy let out a huge sneeze.

"Face it, Envy." Lust said, with brush and tweezers at hand. "The brothers won this round, fair and square."

Gluttony clapped his hands in childlike glee as Envy gave them withering looks.

"Who would have known homunculus were allergic to cats?"