[VolatileFix]: tell me a kink you have of him.
[Hates_Ferns]: A what?
[VolatileFix]: a kink like something that makes you horny for him
[Hates_Ferns]: You mean besides everything?
[VolatileFix]: something not normal. a fantasy. whips and chains and stuff like that.
[Hates_Ferns]: Oh. Well I guess there's one thing.
[VolatileFix]: ...................?
[Hates_Ferns]: I guess
[Hates_Ferns]: I'd kind of like to tie him up, or have him incapacitated in some way. So I could completely have my way with him.

On mornings like this, when he woke up with his glasses askew across his face and his hand draped over his the limp cock hanging out of his boxers, Ed was glad he had a loft and was safely out of his brother's eyesight.


Dragging his glasses off and scratching his cheek, he sat up, too tired to notice—and curse—that because of his height, he wasn't even tall enough to hit the ceiling. Running his tongue along the teeth he'd forgotten to brush last night, he leaned over the wooden siding of his bed to peer at the sleeping form below him and smiled.

Al had forgotten to take his glasses off as well, but they'd fallen onto the chemistry text that was now serving as his pillow, his computer resting a few inches above his head. He was completely dressed, too, though his fly had come undone in the night and Ed could see the hint of blue boxers through the hole.

And with that, his groin surged awake as well, with an intensity that made Ed hiss, and he quickly pulled back from the edge to lie on his back. This was getting crazy. He knew that his college years ran equivalent with his sexual peak, but honestly? This was overkill. He and "Ferns" had been cybering every night this week, and before they'd at least pretended to have some semblance of conversation before the sex started.

Absently rubbing the front of his boxers, he looked over at his clock and groaned—if he didn't get up now, he'd be late for class for the third session in a row.

But he was hard now, and Al just looked so cute and so sweet...

Then again, maybe he could finish this with plenty of time to spare.

[Hates_Ferns]: What about you?
[VolatileFix]: huh?
[Hates_Ferns]: Your kinks. Fair trade.
[VolatileFix]: uhhhhhhhh
[VolatileFix]: i dunno i have a bunch ^^;;
[Hates_Ferns]: Figures you would.
[VolatileFix]: shut up?
[Hates_Ferns]: Is that a question?
[VolatileFix]: ANYWAY i guess a really big one is fucking him a public place where we might get caught. it would be even better if he was naked or almost naked like only wearing a tie and socks.
[Hates_Ferns]: I thought you were never supposed to wear socks during sex. That's a big no-no.
[VolatileFix]: believe me, HE could wear socks during sex. he's that hot.

It would have been largely preferable to sleep through calculus again than go through it with an erection, but dammit, Al was wearing a fucking TIE today. Like he'd been reading Ed's conversations with Ferns and knew what they'd been talking about a few nights ago. He cursed his brother's weird but adorable fashion sense, but while cursing him he also mentally shred his clothes and left blue-black hickeys all over his brother's thighs.

"Mr. Elric?"

"Hmm?" Al looked up.

"No, the other Mr. Elric."

Still staring absently at Al—who was now looking back at him, and Ed gave him a little friendly wave and a lazy smile—Ed failed to heed the summons once again.

Al was making a shooing motion at him, and he turned forward to see Professor Hawkeye giving him her patented death-stare.


"Mr. Elric, is there something about your brother that we should all know?"

Don't say anything about his cock, he thought frantically, don't say anything about sex or sucking off, don't say anything about his-

"Balls!" Ed blurted, internal editing device malfunctioning.

It being college, the room did not erupt in childish laughter, but there were the overly-obvious sounds of people trying to choke back their amusement.

"....Excuse me?" Professor Hawkeye's voice had grown colder than usual.

"Ball..." THINK, ELRIC, THINK. "Ball..ZAC! BALZAC! I was just...remembering that I...needed to borrow Al's copy of Balzac because I need to read it! For a class! A class that I take! Here at school!"


"Yes ma'am." And then before he could stop himself, "Not ball-sack, though, just in case you thought I was trying to make you say something... inappropriate."

One of the other students actually made a "SNRRK!" sound.

"Mr. Elric."


"Please see me after class. Without your brother and his Balzac."

The laughter could no longer be contained and Ed dropped his forehead onto the desk, noticing out of his peripheral vision that Al had slumped so low in his chair he was bordering on falling, and had his book in front of his face.

Oh, yeah, they were really going to do it now.

Ed sighed deeply.

[Hates_Ferns]: has signed on
[VolatileFix]: hey
[VolatileFix]: i was thinking about what we were talking about the other night
[VolatileFix]: and i thought of something else that's like a kink or something, and it's be able to fuck him and do shit with him without being afraid. because i don't think people would really approve of our relationship
[Hates_Ferns]: We need to do it. Like right now. I'm so hard.
[VolatileFix]: and...
[Hates_Ferns]: Oh. Whoa, sorry, you were actually being...serious.
[VolatileFix]: no hello? ^^;;;;

"So has Al spoken to you yet?" Winry stirred her cappuccino and rested her chin on her hand.

"No." Ed answered from inside his notebook. "It's been three days."

"Wow. He must really have been upset."

"Well, he did speak to me briefly. I think he used the words 'fuck you' and 'completely, utterly, mortally embarrassed.'"


"And that was after Hawkeye chewed me out for half an hour about missing class, being disrespectful, not turning my work in on time, blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaah..."

"You suffer so terribly, you really do. But really, I don't know what his problem is."

"He hates his older brother forever, that's what his problem is!" Ed mock-wailed, finally raising his head, a page of equations sticking to his forehead.

Winry reached forward and calmly plucked the paper off, then handed it back.

"He needs a girlfriend, frankly. You both do."

Ed blushed and looked away.

"Yeah, what would that solve?"

"You both have UST and it's killing me. Please, find someone to sleep with and make one of you two tolerable."


"Unresolved sexual tension."

"Have you been in the fanfiction again?"

"It's for my comm arts class." Winry sipped her coffee delicately. "I have to."

"Fanficion about the show 'Supernatural' should not actually be worth college credit."

"And you shouldn't be saying 'balls' to the female head of the math department."

"...Oh bite me."

[VolatileFix]: has signed on
[Hates_Ferns]: You were actually signed off. I got really worried.
[VolatileFix]: yeah, sorry, i had to meet a friend.
[Hates_Ferns]: A special *boy* friend?
[Hates_Ferns]:.....I'm starting to sound like you.
[VolatileFix]: can we just do it? i'm not feeling very good, i need to get some sleep.
[Hates_Ferns]: Are you all right?
<VolatileFix;]: not really.
[Hates_Ferns]: What happened?
[VolatileFix]: i messed up and i accidentally embarrassed him in class and now he won't talk to me.
[VolatileFix]: going on three days now.
[Hates_Ferns]:............what did you do?
[VolatileFix]: we have this class together okay? and i was watching him during class and the prof called on me and i said some dumb shit about "balls" and he got all pissed, like he knew i was talking about him and was disgusted and i dunno, but it sucks.
[Hates_Ferns]: I'm.........................sorry?
[VolatileFix]: it's really hard when we have to live in the same room, too.
[Hates_Ferns]: Um, you know, I think I hear the fire alarm, I have to go, be back later, maybe.
[Hates_Ferns]: has signed off

Ed blinked at the screen, thinking maybe he had misread something.

[VolatileFix]: wait
[Hates_Ferns]: *** Error while sending IM: This user is currently not logged on

Ferns went offline? In the middle of talking to him? There had to be some mistake. Even with a fire drill, or a tornado, or a fucking typhoon, he should have said he'd be back. He always said he'd come back!

First, Al and now his online fuckbuddy? Was the world conspiring to rob him of everyone he wanted to have some kind of personal, physical and sexual contact with?

Just as he was considering lifting up his laptop and shaking it until Ferns fell out on his end, Al got up and abruptly walked to the door.

"Al? Where are you—"


And he was gone.

Fully dressed.

And without a towel.

If he weren't already drowning in cliched teenage angst, Ed might have started to cry. As it was, he shut his computer, took off his glasses, and curled up in the covers, opting to angst by way of avoiding all his homework and sleeping through the following day.

[VolatileFix]: has signed on
[Hates_Ferns]: *** NOTE: This user is offline. Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[VolatileFix]: hello?
[Hates_Ferns]:*** Error while sending IM: This user is currently not logged on
[VolatileFix]: has signed off


"Mmmm?" His friend looked up from where she sat in the library with her boyfriend Alfons Heiderich's—ironic, Ed had always thought, that she got an Al and he didn't—head pillowed in her lap. He snored softly, a book on engineering open on his chest.

"Has Al said anything weird to you lately?"

"Weird like what?"

"I don't know. About a girl, or classes or something."

"Not that I he still not talking to you?"

"No." Ed sat down on the back of her couch and pushed up his glasses and rubbed his eyes—sleep had been irritatingly elusive the past few nights. "I can't believe that what happened in math made him that upset. It has to be something else too."

"Let me think..."She absently petted Alfons' hair. "Oh! Well he did kind of walk in on Hei and I having sex. Might have traumatized him a little..."

"Eew!" Ed scooted away from her. "Just hearing about that is traumatic! No wonder!"

Winry picked up Alfons' book and threw it at him.

"Oh, fuck you!"


"Sheesh...." The blond girl flushed and glowered at Ed. "It was his own bad timing. He could have called for something like that anyway."

"What did he want?"

"Actually, that was a little weird... He wanted your screen-name."

"My screen-name?"

"Yeah. I thought it was funny that he asked me instead of you." She shrugged lightly. "Best I can give you."



"...By the way, if I wake up screaming tonight, it's because you told me you two have sex."

As he dodged Winry's barrage of projectiles, Ed smiled for the first time in several days.

[VolatileFix]: has signed on
[Hates_Ferns]: *** NOTE: This user is offline. Your messages will most likely *not* be received!
[VolatileFix]: come ON!
[Hates_Ferns]:*** Error while sending IM: This user is currently not logged on
[VolatileFix]: fuck you
[VolatileFix]: I hate everything
[VolatileFix]: has signed off

He'd taken to going to class out of sheer boredom. Well, most of his classes. He'd gotten another e-mail from Professor Hawkeye demanding to know why he hadn't attended the past few sessions, especially with a unit exam coming up, but he ignored it. Al had made it pretty clear that he didn't want to be around Ed, so Ed wasn't going to bother him during class time, or risk humiliating him again.

If they ever spoke again, that is.

Ed dropped his stuff by the doorway to his room and kicked the door shut behind him.

And where had Ferns gone? His faithful online companion had just about dropped off the face of the world. He really needed someone to talk to about this, and someone with whom mutual anonymity would mask the true nature of his desires.

His eyes scanned the papers on Al's unused desk and spotted one whose wording stuck a line of dagger-cold chills down his back.

An application for a room change.

Al wanted to change rooms.

Al wanted to leave him.

Misery and bile rose up in his throat and he looked around blindly—for what, he wasn't sure. How could Al do this? What had he done to cause this horrible rift between them? Where was he? He needed to talk to him, and he needed to talk to him now!

Ed looked at his alarm clock: 1:51. Al didn't have class right now, so he must have been out of the room on purpose. How was he going to find him?

And then he remembered—Winry said Al used IM. That was weird; why had he never told his brother? But Winry knew Ed's, and had inferred that she knew Al's too. Maybe, wherever Al was, he was online! RIGHT NOW!

He snatched up the phone and dialed Winry's number, recoiling a little when she picked up on the tail-end of a moan.

"Please," he nearly whimpered. "Tell me you didn't answer the phone while you're fucking."

"As much as I want to tell you beautiful lies, Edward..."

"AUGH, there's like...etiquette about stuff like that!"

"Then fucking tell me what you want and hang up!"

"You said Al wanted my screen-name. What's his?" He thought he could hear Alfons in the background, and it made him squirm uncomfortably.

"Mm, hates-underscore-ferns. I made it up for him because he couldn't pick one himself."

Ed dropped the phone.

[strong]Offline Contacts:[/strong]

He waited.

He waited in his bed, as the day got darker.

He waited like a hunter, like a feral, ravenous animal.

He waited far to the edge against the wall, as far back as possible so he couldn't be seen from the floor.

He waited and thought and every organ inside him did somersaults of terror and hope and anger and sadness.

This whole time.

This whoooole time they'd been talking to each other, getting each other off from less than six feet away, telling each other everything they wanted to do. For months. Both of them keeping each other a secret from...well, each other.

And then Al had found out.

But why had he acted this way? Ed wondered, shifting around. It was him Al liked, wasn't it? He'd said it was his roommate, and unless he meant his future roommate that he hadn't met, then it had to be him. So what was the problem?

Aside from the whole gay incest thing, of course. That was a little weird, but he was sure they could work around it.

Finally, after long, suffocating hours of this waiting, this endless waiting, Al returned from class. He entered the room cautiously, as if testing for Ed, and the older Elric held his breath until Al had deemed it safe and stepped inside.

Al was a creature of habit, and liked to shower after he got home from class. Today was no exception. Having assumed he was alone, his sibling had deemed it safe to undress, and Ed could hear the soft sounds of Al's clothing hitting the floor and the bed below him, the rough sweep of the towel as he wrapped it around his waist, and the clink of the bars on the basket that held his shower supplies.

The door creaked open and Al was out in the hall again, heading for the bathroom.

And Ed slid down from his bed and moved on his prey.

His was the only towel hanging over the top of the shower, and Ed looked around cautiously before stepping carefully onto the slick tile. He could hear Al sighing slightly, and watched under the curtain as soapy water ran towards the drain.

Slowly, sloooowly, he unwrapped the towel from his own waist and gently, geeeently hung it over Al's. He paused a moment to make sure the action had gone unnoticed, and then, taking the deepest of all deep breaths, he yanked the curtain open, stepped in, and jerked it closed.

Al had his head bowed under the spray, working out the last of the suds, but he looked up slightly at the sound.

And then he turned.

The look on his face was somewhere between priceless and that of a man having a heart-attack.

"Bro... bro..." He couldn't seem to get any other syllables out, and Ed briefly worried that his eyes might actually fall clean out of his head.

"Well, Al, since you can't really go anywhere, I thought you might like to talk?"

Al dragged his hands through his wet hair, looked absolutely panicked, and then sputtered, "What are you doing in here?!"

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Brother, get the hell out of my shower!"

Ed frowned; Al looked like he might actually start crying, but he'd come this far, he couldn't back down now.

"Al, I know. I know who you are now, and I know that you know who I am."

"I don't want to talk about this, and I definitely don't want to talk about it in a public shower, I—"

"Then when are we going to talk about it? After you change rooms? After you leave me?" He couldn't keep the edge out of his voice and Al stepped backwards to get away from him, the water spraying off his back and hitting the sides of the shower with a metallic, rainy sound.

"Brother, I... I can't. I have to move."


"Because I can't...I can't be around you right now, I just..."

"It's me, though, isn't it?" He was sure, but not sure enough. He had to hear it. He had to know. "The guy you like? It's me, right?"

"Brother, stop, please leave—"

"You can talk to VolatileFix about him, someone online that you've never met, but you can't talk to me? Not even if we're the same person? Huh? Ferns?"

Al made a choking, pitiful sound and Ed could feel his shoulders droop.

"Someone online isn't my brother!"

"Yes he is!"

"Would you keep your voice down?! I do NOT want to be having this conversation here!"

"Well, it's here or in our room, Al, make up your fucking mind! Talk to VolatileFix or talk to me! And when you talk to VolatileFix, who is me, about me, why don't you admit that I'm the one that you want!"

It looked like the younger Elric might begin scaling the side of the shower any second.


"Because why? You know who VolatileFix likes. You know it's you. I'm right here! You can have sex with someone on the internet but not me?"

"Like you're one to talk!"

"I was having sex with you!"

"You didn't know it was me!"

"You didn't know it was ME! And then when you found out you freaked! Even though you wanted to be having sex with ME the whole time!"


They both froze as Al's voice echoed through the empty bathroom...

...and they were still alone.

"Weird? How is it weird?" Ed whispered just above the sound of the water.

"I dunno, the whole gay incest thing isn't a bit bizarre to you? I mean, add that to the whole 'both of us having cyber sex with other people who turn out to be each other,' that doesn't freak you out at all?"

"No. Actually, it makes me think that we're meant to do this even more."

"Well, aren't you romantic."

"You're not moving out, Al. I won't let you."

"Oh, so what do you think we're going to do with this whole fucked up situation then?"

"This." Ed said, and pounced.

If Al had been injured in the slam against the cold tile walls, he certainly didn't protest or stop the kiss. His teeth raked against Ed's tongue, their kiss unprofessional and raw, saliva and shower mixing on both their chins as they struggled against each other.

Ed held him firmly, bodily, pressing fully against him, slick chest to slick chest, one hand on the wall and one cupping his brother's behind as he rocked his hips into the space where Al's thigh joined his pelvis. He sighed into his little brother's mouth—he was warm and wet and hard, hard in the same place, hard against Ed, hard for Ed—and let go of the wall to finally wrap his hands around the cock that had been the object of so many fantasies.

"Brother," Al breathed, breaking the kiss to tuck strands of wet hair behind Ed's ears before delving into the curve of his neck to bite and suck. "Harder..."

His hand slid up, and then back down, and his whole body snapped to attention. Al was hot, so hot under his palm and he was actually holding his brother, actually. Holding. His brother. And he wanted to grin, and smile and maybe even lie on his back and wiggle and purr (metal note: ask Al if he would like that, later), but more than that he wanted to come all over his brother's stomach, here in this shower. Everything else was going to have to wait.

"Al...Al, I want to..." the words were soft, mumbled into Al's soggy, sweet-smelling hair, and they were answered with a moan.


Ed shifted slightly, having to stand on his tiptoes to completely align their cocks, but Al wrapped his arms around his waist and held him fast, still working at making marks on his neck and leaving the rest to his brother. Ed grasped their erections together, hand sliding fast with the fluid and the water and the sheer pounding urge of just needing this, needing Al, having missed his friend and his brother and this, oh god, how long had it been since the last time he jerked off, fuck, Al, now—

In the period of time between orgasm and regaining conscious thought, another shower turned out next to them. Finally able to raise his head, Ed looked at Al, waiting for something, some kind of sign, a word, anything.

Al gave a small, shy smile and blushed hugely, then bit his lip.

"At least it's easy to clean up in here," he half-whispered, half-mouthed. "But how are we going to get out?"

"...I didn't think that far ahead." Ed laughed nervously.

Al splashed him viciously in the face.

It took clever timing—Al left the shower first, and Ed followed five minutes later—but soon they were safe in their room, albeit standing staring at each other, dripping little puddles onto the floor.



"Were you really that upset about what I said in math?"

"Well, yeah, I was embarrassed as hell. But I dunno," he looked to the side. "You saying something as crude as 'balls' turned me on so much I wanted to... and I had to stay away from you to keep from going crazy. And then you said... well, Fix said..."



"You're not going to leave me, are you? Not now? Not after this?"


"Al," Ed stepped forward and brushed a strand of wet hair from his forehead. "Please. We can go back to being online, if that's what you want. Just...please don't leave."

"I don't know if online would really cut it anymore, after that."

"....does that mean you'll stay?"

"....someone's going to ask. Someone's going to see the hickeys and wonder."

"Well," Ed smiled and took a suave step forward, reaching for Al's towel. "You have a boyfriend. His name is Fix."

"Like that'll fly. Where are you during all this?"

"I'm off seeing my girlfriend." He pulled at the knot securing the towel. "Ferns."

"How come I have to have a boyfriend and you get a girlfriend?"

"Because," Ed tossed Al's towel somewhere into the room, not really caring where it landed, then undid his own. "You always seemed more gay."

"I'm not the one who uses emoticons!" Al flushed but couldn't help grinning as his brother pushed him back onto his bed, and knelt over him.

"You know, Al, you really hurt my feelings when you stopped talking to me." Ed dropped his head to kiss his collarbone softly. "And Fix's too. He missed Ferns. And I missed you."

"I'm sorry, brother, I just...I couldn' myself and I was scared. I forgot things and..."

"So you're going to have to make it up to me. Just like Ferns is going to have to make it up to Fix."


His hand slid down his younger brother's still slippery skin and rested on the revitalized erection.

"Fix was planning on asking Ferns if he wanted to be on the top or the bottom for the first time. But Ferns has forfeited his chance to answer that."

Al's eyes went wide again.

"Brother! I...I..."

Ed grinned wickedly and bent down for another kiss.

You have been invited to a chat by [VolatileFix]: accept?
: has joined the chat
: Hi guys!
[VolatileFix]: hey ^^
[Hates_Ferns]: Hi Winry!
: Okay, so which one of you is it?
[VolatileFix]: huh?
: I heard the guy who lives next to you, Russell or something, complaining in one of my classes.
: He said that someone in your room was having super loud sex and it kept him from studying all night.
: So which one of you was it?
[Hates_Ferns]: That's for us to know and you to find out never?
: You guys suck! I tell you all about my sex life!
[VolatileFix]: and we don't want to know!
[Hates_Ferns]: ...anyway, Winry, question, since you've been doing this for a while... How do you fit two people into these narrow beds?
: With difficulty? I dunno, we have to spoon up real tight, sometimes it's kind of uncomfortable.
: Come on, tell me!
[VolatileFix]: maybe later. I have a project to work on.
[Hates_Ferns]: Yeah I have a lot of homework too. See you tomorrow!
[VolatileFix]: ^^v
: Hey wait a—
[Hates_Ferns]: has signed off
[VolatileFix]: has signed off
: Oh screw both of you together.