<VolatileFix> Online time: 17 hours, 21 minutes
Al shut the door behind him, pushing his glasses up with his middle finger to rub at his eye.
"Brother?" he asked around a yawn. "Are you here?"
"Up here Al," Ed's hand appeared from over the side of his loft, then quickly dropped back down, the action followed by the sound of quick keystrokes.
"I haven't seen you all day." Al dropped his backpack next to his unused desk—-it had been piled high with papers and books since they'd moved in at the beginning of the semester—and leaned over his bed to open his laptop. "Did you even leave the room?"
"Ummmmm...." His brother drew the sound out as he finished whatever he was typing. "No. Wait...yes. I went to the vending machine to get dinner."
"Vending machine food doesn't constitute dinner, brother." he snorted as he kicked off his shoes and settled onto the bed—-positioned directly beneath his sibling's to save space in an already cramped room, and rested his back against the wall before pulling the computer into his lap and tapping at the touch pad. "Someday you're going to have to leave and you know, interact with people. Maybe even go to class."
"I didn't have class today." The faint keystrokes resumed.
"Yes you did. Differential Calculus, 11 AM in King. With me, remember?"
"..........I thought that was Thursday."
"It is Thursday! Or it was Thursday."
"Fuck is right." Al started up his AIM and quickly typed in his password. "You'd better go talk to the professor, she gave me the dirtiest look when she saw me and not you. She'll think I'm party to your deception."
"What deception? I slept through it, okay?"
"Maybe if you would sleep during the night instead of starting your work at 2 am, you wouldn't sleep through your classes all the time!"
"Bah, getting a good groove on this is more important that her stupid class anyway. I can ace it blindfolded and drugged."
"That's what it might take to get you to class on time," his younger brother grumbled.
<Hates_Ferns> has signed on
He scanned his contact list quickly, and smiled when he saw the name he was looking for, but the window popped up before he could click on it.
Al glanced up at the bottom of his brother's bed, then responded.
<Hates_Ferns>: Hi, sorry I'm late.
<VolatileFix>: i was beginning to wonder if you died or something
<Hates_Ferns>: Some of us actually sign off, you know, unlike you.
<VolatileFix>: whine whine whine. so where were you?
"Yeah?" He hoped he didn't sound distracted, but his eyes were focused on the blinking window.
"I'm gonna put my headphones on, lemme know if you need something, okay?"
<VolatileFix> were you with your "boyfriend"?? ^^
Al briefly wondered if how deeply you were blushing could be conveyed through your typing.
<Hates_Ferns>: I wish. I didn't see him at all today. Stuck with you instead.
<VolatileFix>: Poor baby. XP
He laughed slightly, then a bit less cautiously as he remembered what his brother had said; when Ed had his headphones on, it took a nuclear strike no less than three feet away to get his attention. And while it wouldn't really matter if Ed did hear him laugh, he might ask what was funny, and Al had managed to keep his online friendship with VolatileFix (or "Fix," as he referred to him in his head) a secret.
Not that he and Ed didn't share most secrets quite willingly, but this one was different, because VolatileFix, whoever he was, had the benefit of being a relatively anonymous entity with whom Al both enjoyed talking to and had shared his most private confession: that he was in love with someone at his college, and that someone was a boy.
He had cleverly opted not to tell him that this boy was in fact his brother, but he figured that omission was fair. That wasn't really something he wanted to tell anyone anyway.
<Hates_Ferns>: I had a study session for one of my classes, and then I met a friend and she talked me into helping her with her homework for a while. I tried to get out earlier, but she was really insistent.
<VolatileFix>: girls. so needy and clingy. always have to know where you've been and who you're with.
<Hates_Ferns>: And you're not? "Where were you, why are you late?"
<VolatileFix>: shut up. XP only asked because i make time for you out of my busy schedule.
<Hates_Ferns>: So busy that you spend more than half the day online?
His brother shifted above, and Al tried not to look up at the bed springs and see if he could discern from the movement where his body was. He knew what he'd be wearing: his boxers and black tank top, hair in a ponytail, glasses perched precariously at the end of his nose so he had to squint to read despite the corrective lenses.
Al was glad they'd decided on the loft—if they'd had parallel beds he might have had a constant hard-on for the entire year.
<VolatileFix>: yeah so anyway i've been meaning to ask you
<VolatileFix>: what the hell is up with your sn
<Hates_Ferns>: Oh, I couldn't come up with a good one when I got AIM, so my friend just made it up and I thought it was funny.
<VolatileFix>: yeah sure, funny.... :p
<VolatileFix>: you have a sense of humor like my little brother
<Hates_Ferns>: Maybe I should talk to him instead, then? Bet we'd get along great.
<VolatileFix>: no way, it'd be too annoying. XP i'd have to like watch your conversations and make sure you didn't say anything bad about me to him
<Hates_Ferns>: Well I'll seek him out if you keep being a jerk about where I am and who I'm with.
&VolatileFix>: lol good luck, i don't even know if he uses im
The younger Elric set the computer down for a moment and crawled to the edge of the bed to open the mini fridge and take out a bottle of water. He casually glanced around the edge of the bed, seeing Ed's foot aimlessly bobbing up and down in time to the keystrokes. What was he working on so intently? Al opened the water and crawled back to his screen, musing that it was probably a paper Ed was starting at the last minute, as usual.
<VolatileFix>: so did you tell him yet?
<VolatileFix>: your boy. that you like him.
<Hates_Ferns>: No, and I'm not going to. Stop making me sound so gay.
<VolatileFix>: you kinda are
<Hates_Ferns>: So are you! And I'm not the one who uses emoticons!
And there Al smiled with the slightest wickedness. Aside from their banter, Fix was good to talk to because he seemed to be in the same situation—completely gone over a guy that he didn't have the nerve to approach—and it helped to know he wasn't alone in feeling so lovesick and lost... though he doubted his friend was jerking off to his brother in his spare time.
<VolatileFix>: am not! it's just one guy! DX
<VolatileFix>: and my emoticons are awesome. D<
<Hates_Ferns>: Yeah, well it's just one guy for me! It's not like I haven't liked girls before, they just don't turn me on like he does.
<VolatileFix>: whatever. so? what are you going to do?
<Hates_Ferns>: Not tell him ever.
<VolatileFix>: and what jerk off alone in the shower every night?
<VolatileFix>: whoa tmi!
<Hates_Ferns>: Screw you, you know you like to hear about it.
And this was the other reason he kept this friend a secret from Ed: their relationship had a strange sexual bent to it. Things had turned that way by accident, and why Al perceived them not as a division of his attraction—-his eyes, heart, and cock were all completely focused on Ed—it at least allowed him a kind of fantasy. He could imagine the words Fix typed as coming from his brother, and it afforded him a little bit of indulgence in his horrible, sinful, uncontrollable urges.
He was, after all, eighteen, horny, and desperate for some kind of affection. If it had to come from the internet because he couldn't just climb up and crawl into bed with (and fuck) his brother, then so be it.
<VolatileFix>: and maybe i do what's it to you?
<Hates_Ferns>: Nothing, unless you want to....
<VolatileFix>: i can't believe you're still so shy about this
<Hates_Ferns>: Well my roommate is here.
<VolatileFix>: so what, so's mine.
<Hates_Ferns>: My roommate IS the guy I like.
<VolatileFix>: you could have mentioned that before you know! ^^;;;
Al swallowed hard.
<VolatileFix>: we've been doing this for a while though, so you've done it when he's been in the room before, haven't you?
<Hates_Ferns>: Yeah, but...
<VolatileFix>: dude if i was your roommate, and i saw you jerking off thinking about me.... i dunno, I think i'd get turned on.
<Hates_Ferns>: Yeah, well, that's you, and you're weird and don't have roommate issues like I do.
<VolatileFix>: hey, i never said i wasn't hot for my roommate. i'd be fucking him right now if i didn't think he'd try to jump out the window if i so much as kissed him.
<VolatileFix>:...and now i started thinking about fucking him, and i'm hard, so we have to do it. come on. i waited up for you.
<Hates_Ferns>: You were already up.
<VolatileFix>: ha ha, you're so funny, cut the crap and tell me if you're hard.
<VolatileFix>: wait, brb
He was beginning to undo his pants when his brother's foot suddenly swung into view, and Al started and yanked the computer forward over the his fairly prominent erection.
Ed dropped down past the bed and rubbed his nose.
"Use the ladder, you're going to break the side of your bed if you don't! Plus you scared me!"
"Sorry," Ed was on his way to the door. "I'm going to get a soda, you want anything?"
"Be right back."
<VolatileFix>: is idle: 2 minutes
He scowled—-why did it always do that so quickly? Leave the guy at least ten minutes, stupid AIM—and moved the computer back, carefully massaging his cock through the fabric, unwilling to start anything until Ed was safely back above him. Ed returned a moment later anyway, clambering up the ladder, flopping onto his bed in a way that made the support beams creak, and soon there was the soft sound of him sliding on his headphones.
<VolatileFix>: back. so are you hard?
<Hates_Ferns>: Yes. Very.
<VolatileFix>: i want you to take your cock in your hand and squeeze it, just a little, so precum comes out of the tip.
Al hissed as he read the words and obediently did the actions, the fluid at the head of his arousal creating a sticky wet spot where it touched his boxers.
Unfortunately, as good as it felt, he quickly had to let go to be able to type.
<VolatileFix>: are you getting nice and hard and wet?
<VolatileFix>:....hey I'm not doing this alone here....
Rubbing the slit at the tip of his cock, he paused as he read the blatantly unsexy line, then dragged some of the sexual fluid onto the keyboard by accident as he reached down to respond.
"You say something Al?" Ed was shifting again—it sounded like maybe he was lying on his side
<Hates_Ferns>: Sorry, got distracted, and fuck, I got stuff on the keyboard.
<VolatileFix>: lol you suck
<Hates_Ferns>: Do you want me to ask you if you're hard and hot or not?
<VolatileFix>: lol sorry, yeah, i do. and cuz I know you'll be a smartass, yeah, i am hot and i'm hard and when i'm not typing i'm stroking my cock
<Hates_Ferns>: Okay, so
<VolatileFix>: no no, my turn, cuz i want you to be touching yourself while you read this
<VolatileFix>: so start rolling your balls real gently in your other hand and rub your thumb all over the head of your cock
<VolatileFix>: and think about him licking you there, real soft and gentle but intensely, cuz he wants you too
These were orders Al could follow easily, and he did to the letter, feeling the prickly hair between his legs as it he reached for his balls, imagining his brother's golden hair skimming the tips of his fingers as he bent down and stuck out his tongue to lick away the fluid that was leaking out faster now and dripping down onto his boxers. God, to have Ed's mouth on his cock...
He couldn't get lost, though. Not yet. There were rules to this game, and he had to reciprocate or the flood of thrilling, enabling words would stop.
<Hates_Ferns>: I'm doing that and it makes me so much harder, so I want you to reach up and... pinch your nipple, really hard, like he's biting it for you, sucking on it.
How much he wanted to do the same for Ed, to push him down onto his plain white covers and suck and lick and bite until he had no more feeling in his lips. His brother would look so beautiful being taken like that too—he'd arch his head back and moan and buck his hips up, but it wouldn't be his own hand circling his length, it would be Al's, and he wondered if it would feel much different than his own.
Thicker maybe, if a bit shorter, and the adjectives made his shoulders tighten in want.
<Hates_Ferns>: And move your other hand all the way down to the base and squeeze, then move really slowly up to the top in long, slow strokes, like he wants to feel every inch of you.
Ed made a sound that was something like like a choked sneeze, and Al raised his eyes upward, biting his cheek to keep from making any noise, even if the headphones would mask it.
<VolatileFix>: fist your cock real good like he would, make it feel like he's sucking on it, like he wants to swallow you
If only, Al thought frantically, the churning burn of his impending orgasm starting up in his stomach.
<Hates_Ferns>: Put both your hands around yourself and pump as hard and fast as you can, like you're taking him the way you've always wanted to and he keeps asking for more.
...or how he wanted to be taken, either way. He wanted the frantic thrusting of his brother's body against his own, he wanted the skin and the sweat and the smell of Ed's shampoo and mouth all over himself. He wanted to be rolled onto his belly and fucked into the mattress. He wanted to slam his brother through the floor and lick him from head to toe and then all the way back.
<VolatileFix>: suck your fingers like you're giving him a 69 and he wants to fuck your mouth as bad as you want to fuck his.
And he did, god, at least having his fingers in his mouth meant that any non-swallowed sounds would be further muffled, if only they were as heavy against his tongue as Ed would be; if only they tasted like his brother instead of like his own weak sex; if only he didn't want him so badly; if only they weren't brothers but Al would never want to give up his brother, never never never; if only he could make this urge stop but he was helpless to stop it and unable to pull away, but it was like when you start running down a hill and your legs suddenly take over, he couldn't control it, he didn't want to ever stop wanting Ed so badly that he—
<Hates_Ferns> is idle: 3 minutes
There was come on his stomach and shirt, and Al reached for his box of tissues only to find that it was still empty from his cold the week before. Cursing softly he hurled the box toward the trash can, took off his glasses and set them on the night stand, and then yanked off his shirt to mop up the mess. He balled it up and set it next to him.
<VolatileFix>: did you die?
<Hates_Ferns>: Yeah, kinda. Sorry, I got carried away.
<VolatileFix>: did you come?
<VolatileFix>: i did too. ^^
<Hates_Ferns>: Your emoticons really ruin the mood, you know.
He set the computer aside again and took off his pants completely, folding them and dropping them to the floor beside his bed. Unfortunately, despite his boxers also being soggy and uncomfortable, it would look more than a little suspicious if he got up to change them, and he frowned.
<VolatileFix>: at least i didn't use them while we were doing it though right?
<Hates_Ferns>: And I really appreciate it. I should go though. I'm really tired now, and I have to get up early tomorrow.
<VolatileFix>: so much for the afterglow. you cad.
Al smiled softly.
<Hates_Ferns>: Thanks for everything, though. As usual.
<VolatileFix>: no problem, it's not like i don't get off on it. and seriously you should tell him. you're really hot, i bet he's totally into you.
<Hates_Ferns>: I wish I could. Same to you though. I'll tell mine when you tell yours.
<VolatileFix>: aww, why do you have to be so fair?
<Hates_Ferns>: I'm mean like that. I'll talk to you tomorrow?
<VolatileFix>: yeah, i'll be around after 8.
<Hates_Ferns>: Okay. Good night
<Hates_Ferns>: has signed off.
The computer shut with a soft click and Al let out the deep sigh that had been hanging in his chest before standing up and carrying his dirty shirt over to their shared laundry hamper. He'd have to do the laundry this week, not that Ed would mind. Ed was still poking at his computer, although not as avidly as before, and he wondered if he was going to stay up all night working on whatever he was doing.
He climbed partway up the ladder to his brother's loft and reached forward to jiggle his ankle. Ed started and yanked off his headphones, looking back over his shoulder slightly flushed with irritation.
"I'm going to bed. Good night brother, try to get some sleep."
"Oh, yeah. Sorry, you...kinda surprised me. Night, Al."
Al stepped back down and crawled under his covers, trying to ignore the lingering dampness in his boxers and suppress the urge to climb back up into Ed's bed and not come down.
But he couldn't and he shouldn't and he never would, and tonight he would sleep in his own lonely sex again, like so many nights before. Fix could do so many things to make him feel better for a while, but at the end of the night he was still in love with his brother, as unreachable as if he were eons away across an online connection, instead of only a few feet above him.
Ed let his headphones drop to the side and folded his arms, resting his chin on them and looking at the chatlog still floating on his computer's desktop. Thank god he'd rolled over onto his stomach before Al came up or he would have seen the mess he'd made cybering with his online fuckbuddy Hates_Ferns—-or "Ferns," as Ed referred to him mentally (how the hell were you supposed to pronounce an underscoore?). It was embarrassing enough to be caught masturbating with a person online that he'd never met, but if Al even glimpsed the truth....
The older Elric pushed his glasses to his forehead and massaged his eyes with his fingertips. He'd just come hard thanks to the images of his brother screwing him that Ferns provided, but seeing him walk across the room in nothing but the boxers that sat low on his hips had started up his arousal again.
He shut his computer and pushed it to the side, curling into a ball and hugging a pillow close. If only he could climb down the ladder, or eliminate the covers and mattress and springs and wood that separated them and curl up next to his brother, wake up with him in the morning, and do all the things he did with his friend online...It wasn't fair to have this awful, unbreakable desire and know that there was never any chance of reciprocation or even acceptance.
Sometimes Ferns seemed closer over the internet, and his brother felt miles away below him. And missing Al as if he were that far, Ed forgot to take his glasses off and fell asleep aching for him.